I hate emotions... what’s wrong with me now?

Because how often they come and just go... but when they are there, it seems as you will feel the pain forever. Idk if I’m making any sense.

My big sister messaged me “have you seen a therapist yet?” As if I’m the one who is mentally ill.. idk maybe I am because I keep blaming my mom for how miserable and lonely I am.. it’s not her fault she doesn’t know how to be a mom. Today is her birthday and I’ve sent her things in the mail and messaged her yesterday to see if she got it because I was nervous mailing it (had things of value in there) and of course no response. She only loves me if I put up with her abuse.

I also thought about my previous partner again, about how I keep making him into this person who secretly still wants to be with me when, he definitely definitely does not. My brain is using this as some stupid protection mechanism because I still can’t get over him and him not fighting more for me..

What is wrong with me..

[FearIsALiar]

Sounds like a similar situation I’m in. Me and my mom don’t have a very healthy relationship and sometimes I blame her.. also recently broke up with an ex but still can’t get him off my mind.

You’re not alone and there is nothing wrong with you.

[Hidden in reply to FearIsALiar]

Thank you.. idk sometimes I just feel crazy because it’s been over 4 months now 😔 I knew he was interested in other girls during our relationship because I caught him messaging other girls but my mind kept believing he was crazy about me.

Which makes me feel crazy? Is that also similar to your situation?

[FearIsALiar in reply to Hidden]

My ex had cheated on me the majority of the relationship and lied about it...he finally admitted to it once I got it out of him. It sucks but I’d say I’m better off without him. I wouldn’t want to be with a liar.

You’re mind is believing he was crazy about you because you made him out to be someone he wasn’t. He did not respect you if he was messaging other girls. You’re not crazy. It’s not our faults that we go through these experiences!

[Hidden in reply to FearIsALiar]

This is a great and much needed reminder. Thank you for sharing that with me🤍

[FearIsALiar in reply to Hidden]

Of course 🤗