Hope

[Sports789]

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, I thought I didn’t need to use this website a few months ago but I’m here. It’s weird to think that years of little incidents leads into a big incident and the effect it has. Years of mental abuse led to the physical abuse I got a few months ago. I lost many things like my friends, the ability to do the things I love and to be happy. It hurts.. it hurts when I try to live my life. I can’t do well in school, it’s hard to manage a relationship, it’s hard to make new friends. It’s even hard to play sports without the replays in my head of the incident. Everything is just going down hill... talking to my parents aren’t enough and my guidance counselors and therapists are hard to get a hold of due to covid and online school. That’s why resorted back to this website. please can anybody help

[Hidden]

Hey, I am sorry you are having a hard time getting ahold of appointments due to Covid. Same here, my appointments keep being cancelled. I hope you can get in touch with someone soon. Have you tried doing appointments online or by phone? There are also hot lines if you feel you need someone to talk to. I am sorry you have had that experience of abuse. Don't give up hope, it's always there even when you can't see it or feel it. Keep reaching out on here if it helps to talk about things!

[Efthimiades]

Hey, sometimes you need to just deal with the feeling. Even if its lousy. I'm about to loose my kid 4 a week ( x is taking him 4 a week) and it fuckin hurts so bad!!! It kills me when he's away from me. So I just feel. I feel bad!! And it sucks. And next week I'll feel better. And my emotions r all f ed up. When I'm sad, I feel suicidal, when I'm happy, I spread my legs & get high. My feelings r never normal. So if your feelings r normal, be it sadness or anger, just feel it & know it will go away soon.

[JkBauer]

Hello Sports789,I am sorry to hear of all the trouble that you are having and have been through. I am not sure what happened to you and that is okay. I do know about being alone in school with no friends and not doing well with school work and not being able to play after school sports. I know all about mental and physical abuse, I have been there too! I feel your hurt, loneliness, and depression... I understand how hard it is trying to talk to parents and school counselors. I want to let you know how fortunate you are that you have parents that are willing to talk with you. Not many kids have parents that are willing to talk with them. My parents were not the kind to sit down and talk with me. They just talked to the school and teachers and then just ignored the problems when they got home and we never talked. I was born with a disorder and so it made it tough to go to school and I was a very shy person so I did not make friends very easily. My disorder- made it hard to understand my school work. I was physically able to participate in afterschool sports, but the coaches and teachers were afraid of something happening to me that they would not allow me to play any sports. I was very hurt by that. - Then I had gone with my sister one summer to visit our aunt uncle and cousins for a couple of weeks. While there I had gotten molested and raped. I tried calling home, but my parents did not believe me and told me to wait they would be there in a few days. ---All this to say The One and Only thing that I found HOPE, LOVE, PEACE, and JOY in was Jesus Christ. My dad had sent me to church so I would be out of his way, that he could sleep in on Sunday mornings. Some people in the church took me in under their wings and treated me like I was one of their kids. People loved me there, paid attention to me, encouraged, and lifted me up. They told me about God and how he can help me find peace and how much he loves me! I wanted to know more about him. I want to help you and share what the people in the church shared with me. It has truly changed my life. Steps To Peace With God; 1). GOD LOVES YOU and has a purpose for you. John 3:16" For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." 2). SIN separates us from GOD. Romans 3:23 " For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. People often try to bridge the gap by doing a lot of good things. 3). God's Bridge: The CROSS. John 14:6 " Jesus said to him. "I am the way the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. - JESUS IS THE ONLY WAY 4).Our Response. TRUST JESUS. John 15:2 But to all who did receive him, who believe in his name, he gives the right to become the children of God." - Romans 10:9 "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." Will, you receive Jesus Christ right now? I will help you if you truly want to know Him as your Lord and Savior; A). Admit your need: ( that you are a sinner). B). Be willing to turn from your ways (repent). C). Believe that Jesus Christ died for you on the cross and rose from the grave. D). Pray a prayer like this; Dear God, I know that I am a sinner. I want to turn away from my sins, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I believe that Jesus Christ is Your Son. I believe He died for my sins, and that You raised Him to life. I want Him to come into my heart and to take control of my life. I want to trust Jesus as my Savior and follow Him as my Lord from this day forward. In Jesus' Name, Amen

[Hidden]

I hope you were able to get the help that you need at least to be able to find one person in this big world to just listen to everything that you need to get out i have dealt with similar situations and no one to help cause i wasnt and still not an believed never give up

[012703060610]

I'm so sorry to read this. I had an enormously stressful upbringing. I am nearly 40 now with little kids and I know that I will be different with them. I know the signs of anxiety and depression and we have a long family history. My goal is to help prepare them over time as they are still young. I realized in high school I had something wrong with me. Self hate most likely. I was bullied by a local school due to fierce sports competition....hate mail, egging of my house, black flowers and ultimately death threats. I have know idea how I made it out of my hometown and into a life that did get much better. My best advice to you is to try to think ahead on what you want in your life. If people are crappy to you, cut them off and feel good about it. It took me years to figure out that I was consistently in toxic relationships with love and friendship. I am a born giver and have been taken from consistently. Once I graduated and made it off to college, I learned so much more about people, their motives and realized that the folks from high school causing me pain probably weren't going to do much. Indeed they live in this remote home town where all industry is dead. I also fully agree that COVID has made seeing any doctor very hard. I recently signed up for TalkSpace in addition to joining this group. Insurance covers it and I used the writing subscription to be able to fit therapy into my day. If your parents have insurance that you are under, I think you may benefit from any packages they offer. My niece is a senior in college and is also using another online service (can't remember the name). Long story short. I know where you are mentally and I have all of the empathy in the world. The old saying of "I can't see my way out of a paper bag" really applies when depression sets in. I've always struggled when therapists suggest yoga, or meditation or a better sleep routine. When you are anxious and depressed....why would anyone think you could sit and meditate to feel better? Of course I want more sleep, but my mind is racing! All I would do is drag myself further into the rabbit hole. I am here for you because this note resonated with me to my core. Know that there is a future. Things will change over time. Friends will always come and go. While I am in a low moment myself, it's a story like this that reminds me that things can turn out. I have three amazing kids, have mostly enjoyed a career that I made for myself and have finally found a man that understands me and cares for me.....even all of the bad. He is reading about depression to best help me. While the hope may be hard to see now, I am a living example that things can and will always change. Sometimes for the worse, but it has mostly been for the better. Much of my depression I've tackled on very direct.....knowing it is in my family history. Please let me know if I can be of help. I know how it hurts and I wish you had more support.