So tonight I facetimed my boys who are at two separate locations. I'm divorced as of this year and my youngest goes with his dad every other weekend. I had my oldest son when I was 17 and my ex husband is not his dad so when he divorced me he divorced my son too. My oldest missed his brother this week so he wanted to stay at my parents until his dad brought him home. I cried tonight so hard. This wasn't the first night they had been apart but it was the first time for this separated facetime with all 3 of us in different places.
I feel like this big heaving cry was always coming. I've had tears throughout the week on a smaller scale with moments of feeling like I'm under the water. I know I'm not ok right now. I have a therapist. I take medicine but I'm struggling to not be sad every day and tonight it was overwhelming.
blue jays, how heartbreaking this is for you and your older son. Let him know that you are
never far apart because you are all bound by the love in your heart. Sending you gentle hugs xx
Least your son has you. And crying is so good. Wash away all the pain. I love it. Because after the rain comes the storms and then a clear bright sky ahead.
How are you doing now?
Better now. My ex and I worked out a better arrangement so the boys are together more.
in reply to
Good to hear. You gonna be together for the holidays?
Yes the boys will start out with me then split up in the afternoon so my youngest can go spend time with his dad.
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xx
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