I feel like I’m going to cause my parents to divorce

[Lulu02]

My mum cried today over me because I don’t do enough and she’s constantly having to watch me and check that I get everything done in the day. Tonight when she looked for support from dad he was running to his office saying ‘I have _____ on the phone, I have to work too’. I listened to my mum cry more and I felt empty.

I’ve noticed a trend with stories that I read of children with complications and require more assistance tend to end up with divorced parents. My parents have never mentioned divorce although I feel as if I’m one of those children and my parents are just hanging on to every last bit to keep the family together.

I wanna run away, I’m a burden to my family, I make everything worse, I’m not what my parents pictured when they found out they were pregnant and the family they would have.

[maggief9812]

Please, please consider this: children of divorced parents tend to have problems because they were raised in an environment where the parents were in a dysfunctional relationship. If the child doesn’t have good models for healthy behavior: communicating needs effectively and lovingly, respect of boundaries, respect for one another’s needs, etc, then their likelihood of developing emotional/mental health problems is pretty much guaranteed.

If the parents have a strong, healthy, communicative relationship, then they should be able to handle the stress of raising a child with extra needs. Also, LIFE is stressful. Every person: adult, child, married, divorced, or single needs healthy coping mechanisms in place for when the shit invariably hits the fan.

I’m not suggesting your parents have an unhealthy relationship because you simply haven’t shared that much about them, but if they truly are close to divorce that means there are deep problems there that existed before you came into the picture. Please consider though, you are looking at their relationship from the outside. Your mom cried in front of you- maybe later when she was calmer she was able to talk to your dad in private and come to an understanding. Crying is okay when we have feelings. If you’re worried about her, it’s okay to tell her that. It’s not okay for your mom to include you in intimate details of their relationship, but she should be able to compassionately address your fears.

*It*👏🏻*is*👏🏻*NEVER*👏🏻*the*👏🏻*fault*👏🏻*of*👏🏻*the*👏🏻*child*👏🏻*when*👏🏻*parents*👏🏻*divorce!*

[hypercat54]

Hi are you still a child? I was wondering how old you are. If you are 18 or over you can leave home if you want you know. Are you working? x

[Lulu02 in reply to hypercat54]

16

[hypercat54 in reply to Lulu02]

Well you won't be a child for very much longer so maybe work towards becoming independant as soon as possible. x

[Dolphin14]

Lulu

Your parents problem is their problem. It's not about you.

This is so common for kids to feel things are their fault. It's just not true. So, don't believe it. Don't hold that inside and let it fester and lower your self esteem