Living w Depression

[Rachel175]

New to this site, not sure exactly how to use it yet. I just moved to a new state and I have been more depressed than ever before. I have absolutely no motivation to get out of bed or shower any day. I know that exercising and eating better would help but easier said than done, I have zero motivation and absolutely no one to talk to because I don’t want to be a burden or stress anyone out. I’ve been extremely suicidal lately although I don’t think I could bring myself to actually do it because I don’t want to put trauma on those around me. I really don’t know how I’m supposed to live like this and I have absolutely zero hope for the future. What I feel is so hard to explain I don’t want to talk to anyone about it because it just makes no sense. I don’t understand why I feel this way and it’s so hard to go on, if anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it as I do not want to live like this anymore.

[Imgarbage]

I understand your feelings. Moving is a big stress that can cause a lot of anxiety on its own . Do the little things for yourself. I find getting out going for a jog gets me out of my mind for a little find something like that. Talk to a therapist if you don't already have one it helps to have someone to talk to

[froggymom88]

Hi Rachel175. I'm really sorry about the turmoil and anxiety you are experiencing. Don't hesitate to talk to a good friend or family member you are close to. I always tell my son that it is no burden to me to at least listen to him when he is entering an episode. Try to make plans to accomplish small things and if you succeed give yourself plenty of positive statements for the accomplishment. Keep us informed here because we do care.

[Zhangliqun]

The time when you least feel like doing something, especially something like exercise, is the time you most need to DO it. For many reasons -- just the endorphins from exercising will help a lot. A sense of accomplishment will also help to keep the negative thought patterns at bay. Being with other people, even though most or all have no idea what you're going through, helps too. We are not meant by our Maker to be alone, He made us social creatures who crave fellowship no less than food and water.

As someone who knows firsthand what you are dealing with -- and I do mean firsthand, I am far from cured and likely never will be in this life (dysthymia/double-depression with GAD on top of it is a tough nut to crack) -- it is SO important to have other voices coming into your head with different thoughts, ideas, things to focus on, to knock those hellish thought patterns out of your head and to drown out the things the demons whisper in your ear (their favorite word is "hopeless-hopeless-hopeless!"), even if only for a little while.

If you stay by yourself and just lie in bed, things are guaranteed to get worse because the negative thought patterns will have no opposition and they will drag you down in a tailspin. On the other hand, every moment they are not there because you have been pulled out of yourself by being around others, things are bound to improve even if just a little bit, especially if you keep repeating this pattern of stepping out, going and doing. It's a little trickier being new in town but maybe look for a support group or a church or somewhere to go that will welcome newcomers.

Still sometimes you will be alone and in those moments, it is so important to learn how to push a negative thought out of your head and replace it with a pleasant one. (Any pleasant thought or memory will do, not because they have power in and of themselves but because they put you in touch with your Maker who is the author of all good things.) When you first try to do this, it's like trying to bench press a Buick off your chest. But after a while it will become second nature. You will still have bad days, but they will become fewer and farther between.

Most of all you have to know and believe that these feelings and thoughts are a lie, they have no bearing on the world outside or even inside your head. This will pull you through on those bad days.

[Hidden]

Welcome, Rachel!👋

I hear you. Depression is very good at sucking our energy. Please tell someone you trust about the suicidal thoughts. You deserve to feel better!

Take it one day at a time and praise yourself for completing the smallest tasks.

Please get your feelings out somehow because it's not good to keep them bottled up. There is journaling, therapy, talking to someone you trust, exercise, but how you do this is up to you. Also, make sure to eat and drink plenty of water! I'm really bad at the water part and frequently get dehydrated because of it. I am getting better at it, though, and have noticed a positive correlation between being happier and drinking water.

Take care of yourself!🙂