Suicidal

[Givingup]

I believe that I have borderline personality disorder. A doctor diagnosed it years ago but my mom spoke to him not me so I didn't want to accept it. Now I see most of the symptoms. I have two daughters, one hasn't been talking to me for four months because I slapped her husband for being fresh with me and not allowing me in the room when my daughter was giving birth. There were 6 women in there I felt so left out. And now my older daughter wrote me a letter saying that I am out of her life because I ask for too much emotionally. I raised them on my own and we've always been so close that everyone was envious. Now they are married and have babies so it's easier to kick me out of their lives.

[chinda_]

That’s so sad but it’s not worth Suicide... please try channelling your energy to something else, need friends, go out more do something you love... Learn to live on your own, try reaching out to them once once and get involved in a group with same focus ... be safe the world still needs you

[Hidden]

So sorry that your daughters excluded you like that, hopefully one day their children do not do what they have done to you. But it just might, history repeats itself. You raised them and did your best now it is time to take care of yourself. I agree, channel this energy into some place where you would be appreciated. Focus on you and seek the help that is needed.

[Givingup]

Good one

[courtjestah]

I too have BPD combined with CPTSD.

The fact of the matter is, at least for me, is that I am very emotionally needy. I am jealous, codependent and don’t know how to ask for help.

I raised my son alone as well but he kinda accepts my crazy. What he cannot accept is the multiple suicide attempts I have made.

I’m going to ask you the same question I ask everyone. Are you seeing a therapist?

As for your children, they will come around in time but I think you should apologize to your son in law for smacking him. Once your girls see that you are making an effort to get better, you can have a conversation with them.

[Givingup in reply to courtjestah]

My girls know that I am seeing a therapist it's just that I myself stated that I don't think she's helping me. I don't understand how they can abandon me when I need them most! I need more support than ever. I had my brother and my mom die this past year and it threw me for a loop. I am looking for a therapist specializing in bpd but I don't think my daughters care at all about me and I don't think I can forgive them for abandoning me so easily and letting my cries fall on deaf ears.

[chinda_]

True!

[Lain599]

You will be happy to know that Borderline Personality tags women the ways neurotic did. I recognize the situation. I have been there in a very similar way. YOU are not ill. I do not believe so. You sound sensitive and intelligent so are thus, more likely to display the unhealthiness of the atmosphere you are in. Symptoms of others' unhealthy lives can be seen in the so-called unstable one of the family.

What do you think and feel? I have spent nearly 55 years in the oh, so wonderful presence of others who really could not stand my existence and told me so, often.

Suicide? I have been there and done that. Now, life forces me to actually stop being passive and accepting. I hope it proves a worthy choice!

May you find whatever ease you most need!