Grief and Depression

BTW I am new to the group even though I have responded to some posts already. Anywho, I had a deep love, connection, and bond with my grandmother who passed away back in 2013 and I still cannot seem to move on to the next stage of grief. My depression was exasperated when I saw her take her last breath. She has visited me in my dreams and ensured me she was safe, no longer in pain, and happy. I feel selfish and lost without her. I do have a close family support system, my doctor, and counselor but nothing helps. Any suggestions?

[Hope48-]

Welcome you're among friends

[Laurennnnnnn]

I don’t have any advice but I just wanted to tell you how touching it was to read that she’s visited you in your dreams to show she’s doing well. I love that 💙

[Hidden in reply to Laurennnnnnn]

Thanks for the honesty

[PartsWork]

I lost my beloved grandmother as well several years ago. I was far away from my grandmother when she passed away, and I could only go see her at her funeral. I wish I could've been with her, so I actually admire that you were with your beloved grandmother at the moment when she transited to a better place. I cried for several days, after all these years, I still think of her quite often. I tell stories about my grandmother to my daughter, and my daughter enjoys the stories very much. Sometimes, when my daughter sees a shiny star in the sky, she would say "that's your grandmother watching over you!" I would smile and think of the precious moments I spent with my grandmother.

The life of our grandparents are great stories to remember and to be told. They are resilient, loving, and been through more difficulties than our generation have. Reflecting on myself, I could see how my grandmother influenced me and shaped parts of my personality. She taught me a lot about life, and I try to teach others what she had taught me. Therefore, whenever I face difficulties in life, I remind myself to be as resilient and loving as my grandmother.

Even though I miss my grandmother until this day, I know she is watching over me. She is also a part of me as well. I try to carry on in life with what she had taught me, and become the same resilient and loving person as she was. Hope you could see her transition to a better place as a transition in your life instead of grief someday.

[Hidden in reply to PartsWork]

I totally agree with you 100%! Somedays are harder than others and some of my family members tell me I need to try and get passed it because it is only hurting myself and I am not letting my grandmother rest in peace. Sometimes I get p!$$ed off when I hear that because I only want someone to say it is ok to feel that way and time will heal and for someone to give me a genuine hug. Even though I am married and have 19 year old, sometimes I feel so alone in my thoughts. I have this picture in my mind how I would like to see someone console me but the picture never comes true. There are days I wish I were with my grandmother.

[goldieoldie]

My heart goes out to you as you describe so much how much love there was between you and your grandmother,just let me say this she will always be there for you but you have to get over her physical presence and concentrate on how to improve your life ,what makes you happy ,will also make her happy,she can help guide you more when you are ready and that is a very special bond--pm me if you so wish---

[Hidden]

Goldie, thank you so much for your kind words. I will keep that in mind and hopefully move on through the journey of what is called Grief.