Grief, depression and anxiety

[maxout12001]

I'm 67, always had depression and anxiety all my life..lost my husband suddenly in November, which we feel could have been avoided, is in lawyer's hands now..my grandson was in hospice care from August to December, but knew he was going to leave us..was diagnosed with PTSD..medicine I was taken, just didn't do after the shock wore off..I'm on such a regimen now, after 4 months and don't feel like it's working..don't want to get out of bed, don't want to eat, acute anxiety..now wouldn't you think these meds should be working by now, 120mg cymbalta, 300mg wellbutrin, 40mg of buspar and 2 .5mg of xanax..ready to commit myself..there's a difference in grieving when you cry and just being depressed and feel like crying..does anyone else understand what I'm trying to say and feel

[Hidden]

I understand. I lost two babies, my dad then my father in law really young and sudden. I'm trying to help my mother in law now. I think time may help along with prayer and family and friends. I'm sorry that you are hurting. We are here for you.

[JAYnLA]

Grief is a real thing and it has an anxiety layer to it that nobody talks about. I'm attending a bereavement group about once a week and I think it helps to get it out in a group setting.... is this something available to you in your area? Mine is through my insurance plan.

[Kat63]

You’ve been through so much. No wonder you’re feeling terrible.

I second Jay’s idea of a bereavement group, if you can find one.

[Jukieh]

It must be awful for you

[baldmannj]

I'm a person your age and can understand all of the feelings you are experiencing and a few that lay ahead. I've been on Wellbutrin and a couple of other items for many years. My first thought is that you're taking too many pills. Xanax alone can give you the "all day bed blues." Check with the doctor. A lot of this is getting a grip on your mind. You're husband is gone but one of you was going to go first and if it was you, your husband would be a mess. That saved him from your suffering.

Work on what you are thinking about. Get rid of bad thoughts and go for a walk or clean the house. The walk is better as it gets you out. What area do you live near?

[maxout12001 in reply to baldmannj]

I live in Baltimore Co., Md....I had a gene test done to see if some other medication may help..I'll go from there..my doctor who prescribed these medications didn't want to do the gene test...said I haven't been tried on enough meds yet, which didn't go over too well with me but I gave her meds a shot..my therapist recommended the gene test, hope to hear results today..I'm so frustrated..taking 1 hour at a time..

[JAYnLA in reply to maxout12001]

Let me know what you think about the gene test results? I've never taken one and I'm curious.

[maxout12001 in reply to JAYnLA]

The gene test results came in...I've been taking 60mg Cymbalta for a while before all this happened..it says it can be increased, which she did from 60mg to 90mg..then she went from 90mg to 120mg, which is fine but that's when I started having the shakey feeling inside, sweating and confusion..which my body reacted to the increase...hoping this is why I'm feeling the way I am...it basically tells what medicines should work for you by your genes..doesn't hurt to have it done...

[JAYnLA in reply to maxout12001]

So it said you’re on the right med for your body?

[maxout12001 in reply to JAYnLA]

The medicines are in categories...cymbalta was in the least one to try for me...when it was increased up to 120mg, I don't think I tolerated the increase, I'm hoping that's why I'm having these reactions..

[pnwhikergirl]

Maybe talk to your doctor about your medications? One might be counteracting another one. Find a counselor you connect with and there are both bereavement groups and depression groups one or both could be helpful. You have been through a lot and you do need to give yourself time to grieve. It is hard to do.

[pink83737]

don't let this depression/anxiety get the best of you. Im sorry for your loss, hugs.

[Tikirob]

I came on to the site tonight so desperate thinking I was the only one suffering so deeply until I read your post ( and the heartache others have responded with.) I am going to say that so much of what you are feeling cannot be medicated away. You feel things deeply and have experienced situations that would put the most calm person in tears. Its hard to live with depression but add tragedy to the mix and now you have a perfect storm.

My mother, who was by no means a hippie, would tell me when I was really sad to look out the window and find a bird, watch it chirp and bounce around from bush to bush, then look at the sky and the flowers and try to crack the window and let the air touch my face. Sounds simplistic but now that she’s gone I practice it more often to help change my mood and it works more often than not. I don’t think it can cure the pain you feel but it may give you a moment away from it.

[maxout12001 in reply to Tikirob]

I will try that...I do have a hard time getting away from it...thank you

[aykraz]

Yes, I understand. I wish you all the best. We are all in the same boat. Can't seem to get anything going our way. I sometimes feel I deserve it. And sometimes feel that God is punishing me for not taking care of myself or my Mom after my Dad passed. My anxiety is so severe I can't drive anymore. I get panic attacks and feel I will pass out. I've never been a recluse, but I feel this depression and anxiety has made me one. I hope you find the help you so deserve.

[maxout12001 in reply to aykraz]

I know what you mean...it has to get better...my anxiety is so bad, I don't want to be alone...I feel like I'm in fear mode 24/7...doctor told my daughter, I need to go to support group, which is all good, but I don't want to drive..going to see her this morning, not looking forward to it..hoping to hear from another doctor (psychiatrist) not a nurse practioner..good luck to you, too

[SuZQ154]

So sorry you are going through this. Grief, depression, anxiety, and sadness are so interrelated and take time, perseverance, and good support systems to heal. We generally cannot go through these feelings without help! You are looking for solutions which is wonderful!

There are many good suggestions given and other possibilities. Have you considered Grief Share, a support group generally run through churches, or grief counseling? Bible studies, prayer groups, exercise, good nutrition, and adequate sleep have helped me in the past. Books like "Lord, I Just Want to be Happy" helped me realize I am not alone and have given practical, wise, and Godly advice on how to get better. You might want to check it out. bit.ly/2IVRNMd Hope this helps and I am praying for you today.

[maxout12001 in reply to SuZQ154]

Thank you

[RainydaySuperstar]

I absolutely understand and I was taking all the same meds that you listed ...nothing was working and when I told my doctor this she took them all away and then there was a situation where i needed to find a new doctor which I have had no luck with since none are accepting new patients... .I feel like I've been abandoned which makes the depression and anxiety worse...I am barely functioning enough to be alive and every day I wonder why do I continue to exist ...a burden to all who know me and completely useless....failing at even the simplest of tasks....ive been in therapy for years and have so many specialists i cant keep track .... not one issue has been resolved...if I had trust issues before seeking help, the so called help im getting has only made them worse...I really hope you are getting cared for by your providers better than what ive been getting.

[maxout12001 in reply to RainydaySuperstar]

My so called doctor, who is a nurse practioner, told me to get on a program called CBT...ok, thought I would give it a try...still felt terrible when I left her office...my daughter made some calls to get me into the program...she talked to this psychologist, told her my systems, said it sounded more like a mood disorder, and I should not have gone to a nurse practitioner, that with the tragedies I suffered, put me over the edge...she told my daughter, I would need to see a psychiatrist, to get on right meds because cymbalta and buspur I shouldn't be on...I had to get blood work done to rule out any underlying issues...go to psychiatrist on Wednesday, then set up an appointment with the psychologist..

the only sad thing, neither take Medicare, so I have to pay out of pocket but believe me, if it gets me on the right track, it will be worth it...it might be worth looking into...also, the gene test I had, helped...buspar I can take but wasn't doing anything and CYMBALTA, when taken with BUSPAR, I was having reactions...good luck to you, too

[Hollick]

I'm sorry for your suffering, I can relate to you a lot..I hope we can get better and find some solace.