Grief that has a Name: Today I find... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Grief that has a Name

Muirwoods profile image
35 Replies

Today I find myself in the depths of grief over a special little kitty of mine that passed away in 2012. I think that it is amazing how strong our ties are with our beloved pets. I hesitate to even use the word pets as she was far more than a pet to me. I have waves of grief that come over me at odd times. I have waves of grief that come over me at expected times. This grief has a Name. Her name was Miss Kitty. I know that she is fine and that she does pay me visits from time to time. Just missing my little girl. She was and is a most powerful loving force in my life.

Mw

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Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods
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35 Replies
Xeryus2017 profile image
Xeryus2017

I feel your pain, I've been there done that. Animals are awesome, they love you know matter what. I'm here if you need a friend. Welcome to all the new comers, this is a great forum. Darn I'm new to, but this group has helped me greatly. Thanx Alot.

Xeryus2017

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods in reply to Xeryus2017

Thank you for understanding. It is so good to have others to connect with whenever I need to do so. I am sure that this grief that I am experiencing will ease up a bit as the day goes on. RIght now I am just very sad.

Mw

SuzyQ1948 profile image
SuzyQ1948

It is awesome how we who go through depression are such animal lovers, mine are what keeps me going everyday. I feel more comfortable dealing with them instead of people because that give unconditional love.

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods

I really do miss that unconditional love. I have tried to find another little one to welcome into my life but have not been able to do that yet. I hope one day I will be able to open my heart to another beautiful soul.

Mw

Kakee83 profile image
Kakee83

*hugs* :-(

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods in reply to Kakee83

Thank you!

Mw

Xeryus2017 profile image
Xeryus2017 in reply to Muirwoods

I just wanted to say hi, and yes one day you will open your heart up for another little friend.

Xeryus2017

Xeryus2017 profile image
Xeryus2017

Ok thank you everyone for your responses and support. I would like to be here for others to. But, I was reading one of the post and once again it through me into "panic state again". Nobody did anything wrong, it's just something I've been running from for about 17 years besides my own shadow. I have to confront this situation or I'll never heal and get better. Scared sh..less but I know I need to do it. Thanx Again Everyone, well he.. I'm shaking so bad I'm unable to time, do I'd better go for now. Ttyl

Xeryus2017

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to Xeryus2017

I understand about "running from" if it's in your head. Is it called regret, guilt or rumination? It's tough but as someone on a warm line said, " Regrets will get you. Let them go." It's great that you know what you need to do like pushing a boulder by hand. I just wanted to reach out.

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods in reply to gogogirl

I do think that one day I will be ready for another little one. Something I am working on. This pain is so fresh and so real. I miss the connection with my baby so one day I will be able to open my heart gain....thanks for reaching out!

Mw

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to Muirwoods

I have a feeling that your kitty would love you to have another one with whom you can cuddle. I know there is one out there waiting for you .

Xeryus2017 profile image
Xeryus2017

I always seem to bite off more than I can chew. Can't even do that right I need a new Grill. Will I do it all today sure I won't, can I get started yes. Baby steps though!!!!

Xeryus2017

Whatsthepoint profile image
Whatsthepoint

I had 2 male degus and they both dies 2years ago, and I honestly cry for them at least once a month! (I'm not by any means "soft hearted!" ) But your babies are your babies :) hugs

i grieve for my pet children too. My condolences take comfort in knowing she was very love & she knew it, sadly so many animals are abused, thrown away by evil humans Ms. Kitty found you & im sure her life was amazing. You will always have that ache in your heart you love her, you miss her

Hi I put this on for you. I have found it a great comfort when I have lost beloved pets. I still grieve for my 'perfect' cat who died in 1989! She was the special one whom I will always mourn even though I have had other ones afterwards. Her name was Suzie and she was only 9 when she passed.

I hope you find this a comfort.

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown... x

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods in reply to

Thank you for this. It feels good to know that others understand what I am going through. My little one was amazing and I am so thankful for the time I had with her.

Mw

in reply to Muirwoods

You are very welcome x

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl

Sorry to hear you are in pain for your kitty, but grateful that you had such a special bond. Animals are wonderful. We have a dog who is the "boss."

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods in reply to gogogirl

Miss Kitty was the Queen of the house! She was extraordinary!

Mw

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to Muirwoods

What nice memories you must have. I wish all animals lived as long as some reptiles do.

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods in reply to gogogirl

That would be so great!

Mw

gogogirl profile image
gogogirl in reply to Muirwoods

Yes, it would be great. I hope that you can dig down and find it in your soul to get another kitty. The kitties would always be connected. I forced myself to get another dog some years back, and I am glad I did. It's hard.

Sclarkstone profile image
Sclarkstone

I lost my lokibear (dog) 3 years ago now and I still become crippled with loss sometimes now. We are lucky to have spent time with our soul mates, some people won't know the feeling of loss but they also don't know true unconditional love either.

I feel your pain.xxx

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods in reply to Sclarkstone

This pain is so real! Hopefully I will find a way back to opening my heart to another little one at some point. Just not ready yet.

Mw

Sclarkstone profile image
Sclarkstone in reply to Muirwoods

I got another dog about 2 years on. I care about him but don't have the same strong connection I did. I don't think I ever will again.

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods in reply to Sclarkstone

I do have concerns about that connection with another little one as well. I guess time will tell.

Mw

MS2014 profile image
MS2014

I am sorry for your loss. My dog,Baby, passed away almost 12 years ago, I still think about him.

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods in reply to MS2014

Thank you. I am sorry for your loss as well. I hope the memory of my little one stays with me forever! She was very special.

Mw

Interstellar2017 profile image
Interstellar2017

I feel that our pets are spirits sent in our lives at the right time by a higher power because of the positive impact they have in our lives as we navigate this arduous journey to feeling whole and happy again or at least more often. Pets help out more than we know with all types of mental disorders mostly because of their simplicity for life and instinctual knowledge of the human feelings.. They help keep us comforted and grounded in time of need. Just reminding us of the simple things in life that are free and at our service whenever we need time to heal. So although they pass on their energy remains with us and sometimes pass onto another pet if chose to find another. Sorry for your loss I hope you find peace in that and take on their energy to benefit your future endeavors.

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods in reply to Interstellar2017

Miss Kitty visited me three times over the weekend! This is very good in my book. I needed to know she was around and she made sure I knew that she was.

Mw

Grn_Eyes profile image
Grn_Eyes

I too feel your pain, my darlingJack Russell Terrier Maddie lost her life on 12/4/2010. She truly was my first baby. We got her when we thought we couldn't have children, she was nearly 4 when our first child was born in 2003 and our second in 2005. I still miss her and sometimes still weep over her passing, she developed a rare form of blood cancer and the treatment was awful we decided to send her on her next journey and euthanise her. It was horrendous that day will stay with me forever.

She wasn't a pet, she was a real part of the family. I nearly lost my life in 2013 and a few days after waking from an induced coma, I could hear her barking. It WAS her she was sending me her love and letting me know she isn't ready for me to join her on her journey.

I really do feel for you and your loss, take comfort from her visits. Grief is a double edge sword you need to go through it to feel better, but it is so painful and unpredictable.

Take care

**hugs**

MMM

x

Muirwoods profile image
Muirwoods in reply to Grn_Eyes

Thank you for understanding. The power of her loss is overwhelming at times. I miss her so very much. Today my depression has returned in a very large and dark way. I know I will survive this feeling but makes losses that much greater.

Mw

Grn_Eyes profile image
Grn_Eyes in reply to Muirwoods

There must be something in the air today, my anxiety and depression has intensified today. It hasn't helped that my son told me this morning he is being bullied at school again. I feel like anything else will break me, but I have to be strong for not only me but for my son and daughter.

I know I have to try and be positive. Breathing correctly/properly/fully helps. That's about the only thing that I gained from CBT.

MMM

x

I'm sooooo very sorry for the loss of Miss Kitty. I lost my fur baby last year the week before thanksgiving. My grief, her name is Isabelle. It's been awful out here in the real cruel world. I'm not allowed to talk about her anymore. I'm still mourning but I'm told that's "not normal". I cry everyday. I watch videos and look at her pictures all the time. She was my daughter. Not my companion or "man's best friend". You know. She visited once actually a few weeks ago. Im so devastated, depressed, sad, anxious...im just a mess and haven't gotten any better. She passed away here at home. I was told she had a stroke and would bounce back in a few weeks, keep her on the floor. So that's where I stayed with her. As I thought she was recovering from a "stroke" I was actually watching her die. There was a tumor growing back inside her head and it burst. We had it removed when she was a kitten and it grew back. No one knew. Not even the vet's! So it was awful. I laid here on the floor while my baby died next to me

MrZee profile image
MrZee

Muirwoods,

The loss of your furry friend Miss Kitty is realistic grief that most likely will last some time. Miss Kitty must have fulfilled you quite a bit when she was alive.

We lost our Isis (black cat) in 2014. Within a week she had to be put down from her rapid moving illness. Though we’ve gotten and have other cats since, I still miss my Miss Isis. She used to lay by me when I’d watch TV or when I was sitting down she’d jump up on my lap and purr. I do love our present cats, but they’re certainly not my Isis.

All I can say is let your grief happen. Cry when you need to cry. This may sound cornball, but hopefully she’s in kitty heaven happily purring while looking down at you. I do know that my Isis is.

Best,

MZ

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