I haven’t dreamt of my dad in a while before last night and the dream so surreal. He lived across the street from me and when I opened the door I saw him standing there looking healthy as ever. I thought I’d share a poem I wrote for him over the summer for you guys. It’s called the boy in the ford. Let me know what you guys think and your experience losing a parent.
The boy in the ford
I met someone who reminded me of you
Before I disappoint, let me tell you
I’ll start with his republican views,
How he’d take care of his shoes,
His golf clubs
And his trident gum
He tucked me in one time
So does this make me dumb?
To try to look for you in a boy
Who could never be
The man you were
The dad you are to me.
What struck me the most was his loyalty ford cars, just like you
It really striked me, how I made him out to be just like you.
But he can’t protect me because he’s just boy in the ford,
And all the things that reminded me of you, were the only things I adored.
These little things made me hold on, to something that isn’t there
I thought that he would be you, someone who truly cared.
I'm sorry for your loss and hope you're doing okay right now. I haven't lost a close human family member recently, but I did lose an animal companion a few years ago that I still dream about a lot. I even sometimes have dreams about him meeting the cat we have now and playing with him. Blessings to you on your journey of grief!
Oh man! We had him for a good 8 years, maybe? We had him for a pretty long time!
Beautiful poem, someone once told me that our loved one's sometimes come to us in our dreams to let us know their ok and that they are still with us.
xxx
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I’m really glad you commented. This gives me peace of mind because I was trying to pick the dream apart when I woke up. Thank you @suzie482
Your welcome, I occasionally dream about my mum, she pops into my dreams and it always makes me smile, even those dreams that seem mixed up, if I've seen her face I'm comforted xx
Thank you Foresting3 for reading it and I'm glad you liked it.
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my grandad last week. It was the first time ever really experienced loss, so I know what an awful thing it is. He was such a kind, humble man. I realised now how lucky I am that he was my grandfather.
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandad.. I'm glad you are reminiscing about how great of a man he was. I hope you and your family have the support they need during this time. & thank you for reading my post!
Hello, I joined here only recently, and this is actually the first time I’ve been compelled to reply to anyone.
First let me say, as suzie82 said, I too believe that our lost loved ones will visit in a dream to give us some sort of comfort and peace.
This happened to me a few months after my father passed (almost 8 years ago now). I had been very upset about how one of my sisters had behaved towards him prior to his passing. In my dream, I was being hostile towards her at a family gathering, telling her that she was neglectful towards him. When I left the room she was in, (in the dream), I began to cry. All of a sudden he was there, hugging me tight, simply saying two words to my repeatedly. “It’s okay, It’s okay...”. My dad would do that. He would try to soothe any family strife for all of his girls to get along. We were 5 ladies, my mom, and his 4 daughters. It was so real that when I awoke, I began sobbing and heaving. I had literally felt his arms around me, and suddenly they were gone. It did give me comfort though, and help me realize that he wanted me to forgive my sister. It was so intense that tears come to my eyes each time I recall it, even now. But now that some time has passed, I appreciate that he came to soothe me. I’ve had many dreams with him since, but NEVER the same as that one.
It sounds like you had a good relationship with your dad, you knew him well, and he made you feel protected. I hope you continue to feel that love and comfort when you dream of him, and know that he looks after you. As time goes on, you will smile more and more from your memories of him.
Thank you for sharing this with me. It must have been therapeutic to hear communication from him in your dreams, and your dad also seems like a great father. My dad also had all girls (me being the youngest of 3), and we were all close growing up. My dad used to always take us to the local parks and record us singing. He had high aspirations for us. This story is actually extremely similar to my situation because I have a sister who felt as if I did not care for my dad enough, and unfortunately, she had every right to feel that way because I felt as if I was neglectful prior to his passing, specifically, financial. I was working full time and making decent amount of money and did not help him much financial. I was 22 years old, and felt entitled to keep my own money not being aware that my dad has supported all of us girls, providing us with whatever we needed. When he was terminally ill, my entire family new he wasn't going to make it. I said that I did as well, however, mentally I was in denial. It did not hit me until 3 days after he passed where I was on the floor (literally) unable to pick myself up, wheeping that I would do anything for him to come back. I promised that I would pay the rent and stop neglecting him. I was in pain I couldn't describe. While my other sisters were slowly healing as time and months passed, I seem to be the only one that was getting worse. The pain was so bad that I completely redirecting my future to work in the medical field just to be around patients that reminded me of him. My oldest sister was understanding, but the middle sister seemed bitter towards me. She was hostile to me and family events (like your dream but in real life) and although we are okay now, I could tell it still hurts her. But what she doesn't know is that the suffering I've endured and if I had the option trade places with him, I would have done it in a heart beat. Our mom's love is nothing like my dad's. She loves us but it's conditional. If you're still reading this, thank you. I know it's really long and I didn't expect to type this much but I felt like I could open up to you about this because of our situations. I don't know if your sister and I have anything in common, but I'm really glad you forgave her because that's not an easy thing to do.
Thank you for your reply. My dad was a great one, and like you I am the youngest. (Although I’m 49 now, where did the time go?) I did forgive my sister back then, because I truly felt that he was telling me to. She is the eldest of us, and myself and my second eldest sister resented her for not being around when he was ill. He was in the hospital for almost 3 months, and maybe she came to see him 3-4 times. She lives about 1 to1:15mins away, drives, has her own car, and could have been here and back before her only child returned from school. Not to mention the many many friends she had that could have looked after her daughter. My other sister and I, along with my mother, made sure we went every day. We would literally take shifts. (There is one other sister, but she had detached herself from us, black sheep, long explanation.) Anyway, now that my mom is aging, the same pattern is beginning to repeat itself, so we’ll see what happens.
Also similar to your story, my mother is just not the same as my father was. She was always used to him taking care of her, and now expects us to take his place. My dad was a provider and a giver. I feel guilty saying it, but my mom is more of a taker, and she is extremely judgmental.
I think it’s wonderful that you’ve decided to enter the medical field. I do however hope that you are enjoying it and it interests/excites you. Your father would want you to be happy and secure in your life. You are young and now is the time to study and set yourself up for life.
I actually returned to school to study psychology at 44. I am still a student as I’ve only been doing part time for a couple of years. As you know, it’s extremely stressful, but I enjoy it very much. Just wish I could treat myself😂
Anyway, hope I helped a bit, and glad to share with you as well. Feel free to reach out anytime.
hi sorry about your loss I dream of loved ones all the time sometime the dreams seem too real and when you wake up you cry maybe that`s them just looking down on us.
sometime I dream that they are hurt/in trouble and I`m trying to help them but sometime its just like a dream we are doing normal things and they are the ones that upset me more.
Really nice poem. My relationships with my parents are complicated, don't know how I'm really going to feel when they're gone. But I have a deep place in my heart for my Grandpa Ted who passed away. Sometimes I have some vague dreams about him and I like to think of him as being an angel watching over me. And he would chew on Trident gum too!!! I miss all of my grandparents who are now gone, but for whatever reasons he is particularly special to me.
I think it’s common to have vivid dreams about past loved ones ( if it is in fact a vivid dream). After my mom died I’ve had vivid dreams several times about her maybe 5 times or so, spread out over the years (17 years ago) although they’ve gotten less over time. Everything in the dream seems so real and you can remember details, smells, colors, like your dream is a movie.
When she was terminal I didn’t know how to react to the situation it so I avoided her a lot her near the end of her life and I feel a lot of guilt about it and it haunts me to this day. But I also know I can’t blame myself because I was young. And regardless of age, none of us are ever prepared. There’s no dress-rehearsal for life. We all deal with tragedy in different ways.
You’re right everyone does respond differently. I can relate to you avoiding your mom unintentionally. Although I was physically there with my dad everyday it’s almost as if I might as well have not been there at all because I wasn’t present anyway. We can also go through denial, or believe it’s not real. Maybe it’s a protection mechanism? I just really wish they were more common for me.
Hi it’s Shnookie. I myself and other loved ones I have known have had dreams about their dearly beloved who have passed away. My father’s parents were married
4 61 Years. They had gone thru a lot together including being Polish Jews
who were Holocaust survivors and managed to arrive in the U.S. in 1947
penniless. I was very close to my granny
One day a little after my grandpa’s death
she said to me in a worried 😟 tone that
she had a dream about my grandpa known as POP. I wanted to comfort her. I asked
her if she was scared to see him in her dreams. Fortunately, she told me no.
I told her that Pop was talking to her
from heaven sending his love ❤️
and that this was a good thing.
She seemed to feel much
better and this made me very happy.
When my grandma died at the age of almost 88, fortunately I was able to
get to the hospital to kiss her cheek
b4 she was taken to the cemetery. When
I kissed her cheek her body was still warm
which made me feel connected to her.
A few days later I had a dream about her
and I swear even if it defies logic I touched her hands and they felt warm to me which was comfort. I had another dream about her a few days later and could not see her
face and her body was cold. In my mind
the first time she was telling me not to worry about her and she would be looking down upon me
This story is really touching. It's the little memories like those that keep you connected with them and for you, it was her warmth. It may defy logic but I believe it 100%. Thank you for sharing this with me. RIP to your grandparents.
I was just telling my husband the other day that I have a recurring dream about my dad that passed 18 years ago. It is a dream that he just shows back up and cannot explain where he has been. He just steps back into life as if he has never left. My dream comes and goes off and on through the years. It seems when it does come it comes every night for about a week.
Hi JBmom36 this is exactly what it was like! I just opened the door and he was there. I seemed to be asking him questions but weird ones.. instead of asking him where have you been (like I would have) I was asking him if he was happy? No response. just him staring at me..
That's so interesting to hear because it's been a while since your dad passed. & yours are reoccurring which sounds like he is trying to reach out. Were you close with him before he passed?
Yes and no. It was a weird but loving relationship. He was an alcoholic but not a mean one. I did not see him much after I hit 15 since my parents were divorced and I lived with my grandparents. Both of my parents worked a lot and then I was in a ton of school activities. Before he died I asked him to stop drinking because I could see it was killing him. He died of a heart attack a few months later. I use to live in his old house and that is the one I have dreams about. It is very strange. When I was younger I had a great grandfather that passed and came back to visit my sister and I on Thanksgiving. He would sit on the corner of my bed in the morning to wake me up for school and that night I felt a bounce on the corner and remember saying good night pa, i love you and he left. I told my great grandma the next day. My sister came downstairs a little later and said she thought pa was in her room sitting on the corner of her bed. Too big of a coincidence. ❤❤❤
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