Feeling down: I know I've taken some... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Feeling down

Llama00
Llama00

I know I've taken some positive steps but I still feel terrible. I'm tired of trying to be positive and progress in life just to end up feeling the same. I wish it would all end.

43 Replies
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Aww......I'm right there with you. I know very well how it feels to be totally frustrated. Give yourself credit for trying!!!! I'm not even trying right now, I'm disgusted with myself. I shouldn't even be trying to cheer you up, I'm a big mess. Just keep hoping that maybe tomorrow will be a little bit better and if not that, maybe the next day or the next day. It's always darkest before the dawn. Do something nice for yourself and don't knock yourself down. I'm glad you're trying. Sometimes just be happy with small gains.

It’s ok. I think we were all there once. Taking those steps may feel exhausting and pointless but don’t give up on yourself! It makes a difference even if you can’t feel it. Be gentle with yourself. Depression really does affect the mind, so what you are feeling doesn’t necessarily reflect the reality of things. Your poor brain is probably still trying to catch up.

Maybe just go easy on yourself, let yourself take a break between efforts. You can get through this.

Hugs. Take it easy too. Perhaps also see a therapist or counsellor.

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to thara9643

I do I just started 2 weeks ago. Its ok and she's kind but I just feel like nothing will change for me.

Agora1
Agora1 in reply to Llama00

Llama00, give yourself some time with the therapist. Nothing will change unless

you start making changes. Your therapist will guide you in going forward.

Stay Positive. Little steps can lead to big success. :) xx

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to Agora1

Yea I know I have to make the effort. I just feel like I'm so far behind I'll never catch up.

You are not alone. I am struggling to have a positive outlook right now too. Take a deep breath, remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, and take one day at a time. Have hope friend. If you want to chat feel free to message me 😊

Llama00, May I ask what you feel terrible about? Health? Behaviors? Thoughts? Identity? Energy? There are dozens of things we can feel terrible about. Mine always comes back to shame, which is a tricky one to change. Is there anything you feel good about? Focus on those for a while.

I feel terrible about my life as a whole. I feel I have nothing worth living for or anything good going for me. Its a lot I feel terrible about.

What is in your control and what do you not have control over? Do you choose to do or not do things? Are you subject to the beliefs of others? For example, when I feel like my life is very stressful, like I have nothing going for me, like I am a failure...I get to a point of chaos in my mind that I need order.

I had a major car accident in March and recovery has been very difficult. It was not my fault, but I have to live with the consequences of the other driver's decision. I had a really bad two weeks of pain and questions about the pain that I could not get answers to and insurance issues and a dozen other things all piled on top. This weekend, I worked in the garden (quite a challenge), I organized some things in the garage, I did some laundry. My brain needed some structure and order to be able to deal with all the chaos.

Did it resolve the issues, no, but it allowed my brain to focus, so this week I can get my answers and do what I need to do. I had to retake control over what I could. I can't chage the accident. I can't change many of the other stressors I have. The small sense that I took control over what I could ,will allow me to face the bigger tasks this week.

Small steps. It is always small steps. But you have to step forward.

I know you're right and small steps matter but just constantly feeling so down makes the small steps not worth.

Small steps are totally worth it. Those are exactly what we need. They accumulate.

It doesn't feel like it when after their done I still want to give up and feel terrible.

Llama00,

I get what you are saying. I was diagnosed almost 30 years ago. I surely have had my ups and downs. There were many one step forward-two steps back, but I then took another step or two forward. I changed jobs a couple times. I lost some friends as we grew apart. I am comfortable being alone, but it does get lonely. I started fostering sick and injured dogs. I help my elderly neighbors. I collect goods for the needy. I have a successful brother and sister and I feel like the black sheep.

These are my little steps. I have a BS in earth science and MS in Education. I can't use either becasue of my A&D. I taught for almost 20 years and have PTSD from abusive administrators and won't go back into the classroom. My one passion in life feels like it was stolen. Hell, with the accident, I can't even walk across my back yard without taking baby steps and wobbling along. So literally and figuratively, I am taking small steps.

Sorry if I sound short, tonight. I do not mean to bash anyone who has come here for help. I apologize if I sound that way. I want to give you my concrete examples and experiences. This is not an easy path to travel, but we are all here travelling it together.

I rely on my therapist, my doctors, my support groups, my physical therapists. There are mornings I don't want to get up. There are nights when I cry myself to sleep. My shame takes me to deep, dark places. I have been to the edge, wondering if anyone would miss me if I were gone. I drank myself into a blind stupor. I mixed pills and alcohol. I got so tired of that life. THAT is what I wanted to give up.

Once I did, I could do the work I needed to do. I could talk about the cause of my shame. I could get angry. I could know why I was sad. Whether we realize it or not, we matter. While I was teaching, I imagined the kids. I could never hurt them.

I want you to reach down deep. No philosophical insight from me. Write a list of the things that worry you, things that scare you, things that make you upset in your daily life. Nothing is too big and nothing is too small to be on the list. Take that list to your therapist and have him or her help you decide which to work on.

I am sorry you are feeling so lost. I have never been known for pussy-footing around. I actually asked for a therapist who would challenge me and push me through tough times.

Hi I’m Shnookie. Listen to Lazy dog lover. The process of therapy at times can be like a rollercoaster 🎢. The fact that U R going

to a therapist is HUGE. U have taken the first step. The group is here to support

U. Hugs 🤗 Shnookie

I keep being told that its a huge step but I don't feel any better. I still feel like I'd be better off giving up.

It is okay to feel this way. How you feel and how the world appears is real. I think part of what happens when we feel this way is that everyone is telling us to fight it. It is because people who care about us are concerned for our health , happiness and safety. Many times this does not work or makes us feel that we belong here even less, because we cannot feel the way people want us to feel. t is especially hard during these very difficult times.

Buddhists would ask us to explore the pain. Rather than fighting the depression, you are engaging with it in a safe way and learning to find your connection to ground yourself and regain your bearings. It is important to keep in mind that meditation may be better in maintaining balance when you are not feeling deeply depressed and hopeless because it can open up new doors to feelings and memories that one cannot explore until you are stronger. Here is a link to an article. lionsroar.com/ask-the-teach...

I also have found that a good portion of people with bipolar and depression are creative. Writing, drawing, painting, dancing and all other manner of self expression are ways to safely explore and express your feelings that can be meaningful to you. I think of it as taking these feelings and depositing them somewhere else. They are not gone. They are kept within that creative expression. I write poetry, draw and paint, though I am not a poet, nor a professional artist by any means.

I haven't drawn for years and have just started again and the transference of feelings to a drawing helps me greatly. It is not a cure but it gives me just a bit more energy than I had before. I can then maybe go for a walk. As others have said here, it can be small steps. One foot in front of the other. It is hard work and you may have a friend that will walk with you to help you take that first step.

Even if you never have before, you may enjoy writing or some other creative endeavor. Just writing down feelings in a poem may help take some of that weight you feel and put it on paper.

This does not mean that you might not need to take medication or that you should stop therapy but that, there may be other way to help in your healing and creating balance in your life.

If you feel that you can't cope and might hurt yourself, call your therapist or psychiatrist on an emergency basis or a suicide hotline. Bottom line is that so many people are rooting for you. We are all beautiful but sometimes we just don't feel that way. This song by Alessia Cara is all about that..... youtube.com/watch?v=hg8XCSB....

Reach out to others, love yourself and drag yourself until you can crawl, crawl until you can stand and then stand until you can walk. It is possible to feel better and hopeful but it is hard. Remember that you are worth it!

Take care and let s know how you are feeling.

nic013
nic013 in reply to dmt1121

this is such a thoughtful response! great ideas and a valuable perspective

Sorry that link to the video didn't work....just copy and paste into URL search bar at top of screen.

Thanks so much for posting! SO sorry you are feeling down.

Here are some strategies I have been using to get through this pandemic:

1.Media distancing.

2.Do not engage with worry. Take action. Say, “Don’t take the bait.”

3.Focus on present odds.

4.Do not react to your own physical symptoms.

5.Focus on being productive and new ways of enjoying life.

6.Engage in stress reduction activities.

7.Do not go beyond the CDC guidelines. No compulsive hand washing.

8.Preserve some sense of normalcy.

9.Be kind to yourself and others and have FAITH!

10.Seek our professional help, if needed!

Hope this helps and please keep posting!

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to SuZQ154

Yea I'm going to therapy. It's my 3rd week so I'll bring how I feel and see how it goes.

SuZQ154
SuZQ154 in reply to Llama00

That is wonderful! Counseling often helps to uncover hidden "wounds". Sometimes we have to rip off the bandages so those wounds heal. Hugs to you today!

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to SuZQ154

I went and it was ok. I like my therapist and I like it there but it's very quick. I don't feel any better when I leave.

SuZQ154
SuZQ154 in reply to Llama00

Often, healing takes time...Are you scheduled for another appointment?

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to SuZQ154

Yes I'm going again next week. I scheduled twice, maybe that'll do something.

SuZQ154
SuZQ154 in reply to Llama00

Wonderful! Please keep me posted on how you are doing!

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to SuZQ154

I'm not doing well. Feeling worse or the same.

SuZQ154
SuZQ154 in reply to Llama00

Sorry to hear that! What is going on? Inside your head, heart, and life?

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to SuZQ154

It's all of them. I'm still depressed everyday, I'm all alone with no real friends around me and I just want to give up.

SuZQ154
SuZQ154 in reply to Llama00

Please do not give up! You are being honest and are trying to get better! That's wonderful!

I have used, "Fake it until you make it!" in my life! I pretended I was happy and kept doing what I believed was healthy, even though I did not feel like it! I kept eating well, sleeping, exercising, journaling, posting, praying, reading my Bible, and getting out. Over time, it worked.

Hopefully, with time, you will see more results! Blessings!

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to SuZQ154

I feel like things are getting worse. I don't want to keep trying but I feel like I'm forced to so we'll see how it goes.

SuZQ154
SuZQ154 in reply to Llama00

Please do not give up! I have learned I have to walk "through" pain to get back to contentment and joy. Not "around" it! Please keep walking "through" to the other side. Praying for you this morning!!

I know, it's exhausting - you wake up positive, doing all the right things and hope that it will be enough to progress and move out of the shittiness but by the end of the day it hits again. Unfortunately life isn't like the movies is it. It's a mess, and we get hit with shitiness all the time whether we can handle it or not. It doesn't get easier, life is pretty hard, but I think for most people it becomes second nature and we have to learn how to not let it feel so heavy, get creative with carrying the weight so it feels as light as possible. Everyone is different with how and when they learn this but you'll find your way if you keep trying on different things. For me, it's reading and my cat - very cheesy but both of those things truly work for me. It doesn't mean I don't have awful days but when I do, I have coping strategies so they feel more like the mole hill and not the mountain. Something I can get over. Positivity isn't necessarily right for everyone, sometimes being realistic about what needs to be done and how you can get through the day and even maybe put a smile on your face even for a second is what you need to aim for, especially in the beginning. Don't give up, there is plenty of things to try.

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to Rubi94

I've been like this my entire life. Since I was 8 I use to think about dying. I just don't expect to ever change.

We can change! When I was younger I had a severe eating disorder. I used to think, "You will never change." I did! It took therapy, perseverance, willingness, forgiveness towards others and myself, and faith! God helped me change!

Please know there is HOPE!! We can change:) Hugs!!

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to SuZQ154

I understand things can change but it never has for me my life has been the same all the way, terrible.

SuZQ154
SuZQ154 in reply to Llama00

How are things going now? Hoping better??

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to SuZQ154

No not at all. I still feel the same most days and yesterday I got in an argument with this guy who's a friend of one of my friends. He threatened to fight me it was online at the time so nothing happened but it upset me, I've never met the guy at all and I can handle myself in a fight even though it's been years since I've fought someone. Its bothering me, I don't know why but I just don't like someone trying to make me a target.

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to SuZQ154

Now with this new situation the only emotion I have is anger but before yesterday my thoughts were the usual about me hating life and thinking of dying. Now those thoughts are pushed back and my new ones aren't great either. I try my best to avoid drama and stress adding situations but now I'm involved in one.

SuZQ154
SuZQ154 in reply to Llama00

I would be angry and scared. If you put yourself in the other person's shoes, do you understand why he wants to fight??

Just another thought...sometimes my anger is masking hurt from issues of my past??

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to SuZQ154

It's not a real reason he wants to, it's just ego. You're probably right about issues from the past I don't like when people attempt to bully me so it does upset me alot.

SuZQ154
SuZQ154 in reply to Llama00

I understand...how is everything going now?

Llama00
Llama00 in reply to SuZQ154

I took your advice and just ignored it, so most of time I don't worry about it. Now my only problem is my usual one of depression and loneliness. I also struggle to sleep still.

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