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Feeling hopeless about life

Lycholko profile image
14 Replies

This pandemic really has impacted my life more than it should. This was the worst year of my life so far. I was supposed to perform in my school's musical, I was going to do clinical rotations in a nursing home, I was supposed to go to my first concert, and I was supposed to go to prom with my friends. All of that changed and taken a completely different direction. I have been having the worst panic attacks I ever had during the past few months and I developed both insomnia and acid reflux. And now, my school just got the ok to go back to school full time instead of just 2 days of in person classes. I have to decide whether to go full online or full virtual. I hate that I have to make this decision. I'm only 16. I shouldn’t have to fear for my life by just sitting in a classroom (same goes for school shootings, but that’s a whole other deal.) I'm worried that if I go full online, my mental health will only get worse and I'll revert to how I was in March. I just want to feel good again. I also told my dad I want to go back to therapy. I told him that a few weeks ago and he just dismissed it and didn't talk about it again. My sister is going to therapy as well. She started a few months ago and finally went on medication. She is feeling a lot better and I'm very proud of her. However, I've been saying since March that I wanted to go to therapy and my parents wouldn't do anything about it. I found out that the legal age of consent for treatment is 14 so, since my dad isn't doing anything, I'm going to get my own therapy without his help. My sister asked her therapist if I could do that and she said I most definitely could. I'm going to call tomorrow and I will hopefully get help soon.

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Lycholko profile image
Lycholko
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14 Replies
nic013 profile image
nic013

i just want to say i’m so sorry you’re having to deal with the weight of all this at such a young age. the pandemic has been really hard on me too, very isolating and anxiety triggering. i want to validate that it is ok that it is affecting you so much— it is a global pandemic, it is not normal! honestly the people whom it is not affecting are the ones behaving irrationally!

you seem to have a smart head on your shoulders and great self awareness- please trust yourself! your instinct to start therapy should be supported, keep advocating for yourself. (sometimes parents don’t know how to react when their kids are struggling and by ignoring it they think it will solve itself).

im really sorry that you missed all these important moments in your life this year. it can be hard to imagine now but there will be so many more amazing things to look forward to and to experience in the future. also, i hope you can see that you are experiencing inner strength right now even when it feels like despair because you’ve reached out for help! it took me years into adulthood to do that. really you are amazing for being so in tune with yourself and proactive!

Marysblue profile image
Marysblue

So sorry you're having such a difficult time .

Great of you to be proactive and reach out for help. There's also crisis lines you could look up and call if you really need to talk before you can get in to see your counselor.

This year's been really hard on me too. 2019 was a terrible year for me and this was going to be the year that I turned it all around ..haha to that .

Hang in there this will be behind us in the near future.

argh52 profile image
argh52

You seem like a very strong person. Don't give up. One day at a time, don't give up.

Lycholko profile image
Lycholko

Thank you so much for the poem! It really is uplifting!

newmercies profile image
newmercies

Hi there. Know you are not alone. I struggle with anxiety and depression and at times panic attacks too. I'm just a few years older than you and I know that it's hard. I'm sorry that your parents are not supporting you pursuing therapy. Keep at it. I hope you can get connected with a therapist soon. If you ever want to chat, feel free to message me. :)

leafy-fact profile image
leafy-fact

It makes me so proud to hear of someone advocating for themselves when they are going through something so incredibly difficult (especially someone your age).

This is when my anxiety and panic disorder really kicked in. I didn’t have that courage to look into therapy or even talk to my family for support.

I know it feels bleak, I just want you to know that you have so much strength to be doing why you are doing. Not having parental support is crushing. I feel that.

I’m my experience, being your own support and advocate is SO IMPORTANT! I am proud of you.

SuZQ154 profile image
SuZQ154

You are so honest and in touch with your feelings! That's wonderful! Therapy would potentially be a place where you can explore them more! You mention your father has not been responding to your counseling requests...what about your mom?

Therapy reveals "layers" about our past, and can help determine our futures by taking care of ourselves emotionally. Christian therapy has helped me in the past!

Blessings to you!

Lycholko profile image
Lycholko in reply to SuZQ154

My mom has been trying to get me to wait to go to therapy.

SuZQ154 profile image
SuZQ154 in reply to Lycholko

Sorry to hear that. Why is she asking you to "wait" to go to therapy?

Lycholko profile image
Lycholko in reply to SuZQ154

She says that what if I feel better once I go back to school full time and I win't need therapy. I keep telling her that I have been like this for months and haven'gotten better on my own so I need help.

SuZQ154 profile image
SuZQ154 in reply to Lycholko

So sorry!! Therapy is very helpful in many cases. In your heart, if you believe therapy is right direction, I would encourage you to continue to pursue it.

Years sgo, my ex-husband did not want our daughter to go to therapy when we were going through a divorce and she had developed an eating disorder. He said, "She doesn't need it." Finally, my daughter and I decided to enroll her in a Christian eating disorder clinic in Arizona...it saved her life. Today, she is doing so well!

Sometimes, we have to do what we know in our hearts is the right direction.

Lycholko profile image
Lycholko in reply to SuZQ154

Tell tour daughter I’m proud of her! Her story really helps me realize that I need to go to therapy, wether my family wants me too or not.

SuZQ154 profile image
SuZQ154 in reply to Lycholko

So glad to hear this! Please keep me updated on how you are doing!

Afrohair profile image
Afrohair

Please remember you are not alone with this my son is in his final year and is worried he will fail his exams he can’t do a lot of things like socialising with friends and it does impact your mental health he has to do a lot at home but struggles as he is a people person and can only study face to face please remember that lots of teenagers your age are struggling right now

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