Loneliness

[sarahmcf]

I was already struggling having friends and being around people prior to covid and now it is worse. I just want one close friend. 😟

[Hidden]

Feel the same,

I was studying another career and when I dropped it I stopped talking with my friends because our schedules didn’t work, after when I started somewhere else and started doing some friends was the pandemic, then I made a zoom friend, we used to talk every day and I really enjoyed it because I had someone to talk with, but now he stopped talking to me and don’t know, it feels sad that every time I wanna talk with someone I don’t have no one

[sarahmcf in reply to Hidden]

When I do get some time without my husband and kids I love to go hiking. Something about being in nature alone is relaxing and rejuvenating.

[Hidden in reply to sarahmcf]

I go hiking too, maybe we are just loners by nature....

[kvolm2016]

Definitely true that so many of us are feeling this way. I have found that getting out and just being in a public space at least helps with some of the isolation feelings. I've been studying at the park or at some of the outdoor patios of the coffee shops that are open. I've also been trying to get out on some of our hiking trails in the area just to be where other people are. Not the same as having more involved conversations with people but it does seem to help.

Is there a past friendship that you can try to reconnect with? Or maybe someone you can think of that you would be interested in getting to know but never tried to before?

[sarahmcf in reply to kvolm2016]

Yes to both, its just becoming a lot more difficult with three kids during a pandemic. When I look back at past friendship that were immensely important to me I see that I always invested more than I got in return and when I stopped constantly reaching out, contact diminished greatly. I miss these people but at the same time is that friendship dynamic really that healthy.

[kvolm2016 in reply to sarahmcf]

Yes, I definitely relate to the difficulty of time for self-care and non-family relationships with kids at home! What about connecting with parents of your kids friends?

And that is a valuable question to ask when considering who to try and reconnect with. But everybody is at a different space in life at the moment so maybe the dynamics of the way a specific friendship worked before could be different now. If it's worth it to give it a try then you'll probably find out pretty quickly by the kind of response you get.

[evilspicy]

I know what you mean. For me, loneliness is like a big, dark cloud that hangs over and makes the anxiety and depression worse. It's difficult to make solid connections and I often feel starved for human contact. COVID has made it that much harder, but kvolm2016 mentioned getting out into public places just to be around other people. Most of the time, it's hell on my anxiety, but I try to do the same. For example, I joined a gym and was working out today and a woman noticed my shirt and struck up a conversation asking if I was a veteran. It was the most conversation (besides with my doctor) that I've had in months and it felt nice to be seen. Chatting with others on this forum is more social activity than I normally get. Know that you're not alone in feeling alone. It's hard to wake up alone, go through your day alone, and settle back into an empty bed alone. There have been times when I've been close to tears because I feel cut off from other people. I hope you find this forum helpful, I personally would love to chat any time! Hugs. <3

[sarahmcf in reply to evilspicy]

I feel that. Most time spent in public is with my husband and kids. Although I value family time, I constantly feel like I am an extension to them instead of just my own person and now that I lack friends that seems to just increase that feeling. I appreciate your positive words. 🖤

[evilspicy in reply to sarahmcf]

I can absolutely see how not having your own connections and time to spend on your own social activities outside of your family could wear you down and be super frustrating. I can imagine that there are probably times when you want to pull your hair out, not having a social outlet or friends to vent to. I hope this forum helps to at least vent some of that frustration. I am crossing my fingers that the world can get a handle on this COVID business... everything seems harder due to it. Sending positive thoughts your way!