im terrified for my future

[roachkid]

there is a very real possibility it wont be ok. im not going to uni and i dont have a real career plan in place. i have no friends to rely on bc my family cut them off. my older sister lives in las vegas as a schoolteacher and i have no other family i can rely on either. i wont get any financial support from my parents once i move out and this house is so toxic for my mental health i planning on leaving the second i turn 18 so they dont call the cops on me. im willing to become homeless if it means leaving. though, if i really do become homeless im sure ill just kill myself. i have about 3,000 dollars saved up in the bank but besides 107$ in cash ive scrounged up i dont have enough to survive a month or two. im terrified. i miss my friends.

[Purrsona]

One day at a time <3 Times are tough to be sure, but once you get out of your hometown things will open up for you. There are still plenty of jobs you don't need to go to university for. Is there any possibility you can stay with your sister for awhile until you find your feet? Can you try to reconnect in secret with the friends your family cut off?

Don't panic. You're already helping yourself by finding support online. And by the way, the teenage years are some of the toughest and scariest, and you will get out of them.

As (technically) an agnostic (but for all intents and purposes an atheist), I know it's sometimes tough when people's first response is to tell you to pray and that just isn't an option for you. For me the two most important things are family, biological and chosen, and nature. If you don't get along with your family, trust that you'll one day find people you can rely on. And see if you can get out to the woods or wherever's beautiful near you.

[roachkid in reply to Purrsona]

im a little scared to try and reconnectt in fear of my friends having moved on. i havent talked to them since january.. except my ex bf whom was banished from my life more recently. it's hard not to feel like the world is done with me. over me. my sister isnt an option either. thinking about this at all insights some serious panic but if i dont address it ill be in an even worse position.

[Purrsona in reply to roachkid]

I know the feeling re: panicking over something you need to address. It's incredibly hard not to do. It does sound like you have a little buffer built up for the first couple of months, which is great. I encourage you to reach out to your friends and explain what happened--odds are at least some of them will be more willing to listen than you might think. And you definitely need and deserve support. Are you in a position where you could get a part-time job now? Not just to make money, it also might help you meet new people?

[roachkid in reply to Purrsona]

ive been planning on getting a job for months- even years now but ive never been in a place where that was truly possible. i wont be able to until i know where im staying and for how long. im doing school online so i can get my GED and visit my family on kauai in november. ill most likely be staying there for a few months. until then i guess ill have about a month to work someplace near my house but i gotta somehow override my anxiety to do so..... everything is so overly complicated and exhausting to consider ugh. thanks for listening and trying to help

[Purrsona in reply to roachkid]

Of course <3 Maybe try not to think too far into the future--we never know what's going to happen, so overthinking it generally isn't helpful and only stresses you out. Feel free to DM me anytime if you want to check in. You're getting your GED so you're on the right track. Being a young person is really hard, especially right now.

[roachkid]

that means a lot thank you xx