Panic social phobia is ruining my life

[Pocha45]

Hi I dont know where to begin this is the worse case since 7 years ago. I hate leaving the house im incomfortable in my clothing which i think is caused by the depression ..i started isloating myself. I had to leave a good job...i panick taking the bus and train i feel trapped at my age... im not driving. Nor do i live alone ...I feel like I have nothing left all.my friends are done with me.. my self esteem is beyond broken.....

[Aspergirl47]

Hey, Sorry u are feeling so bad just now... I also have severe social anxiety and panic disorder so I know how bad it feels just leaving the house at all...I feel paranoid thinking everyone is looking at me in a weird way, then I start to panic...I drive, but this also leaves me panicky so I usually always have a family member who drives instead..i feel like a child....Have u tried any meds? or had Cbt? Hope this helps knowing others are the same.. x

[Pocha45 in reply to Aspergirl47]

Thanks for responding its nice to know someone is going through the samething that can relate. Yes i just started meds however the ativan is no longer as effevtive I think i built up a tolerance ...the other med has yet to kick in its only been 3 weeks. But the way felt today was horrible I literally had to get off the train and take an uber home. I need to start back to work soon I cant be like this so im going to force myself to be uncomfortable untilni can break free. Im ao tires of.avoiding things and runing my life. Yes.i have tried cbt I dont think alI used it enough thoughm

[sheila1kerry in reply to Pocha45]

Hi there, i let these same problems desttroy so much of my life, now i am sixty years old and look back on all the wasted years with such sadness. The silly thing about this disorder where we think everyone is looking at us, judging us, the reality is that they are probably thinking about what they will have for dinner tonight and have not even seen us. Please get some help, CBT can be very effective. Please do not waste your life on this disorder.

Good luck

Sheila1kerry

[Pocha45 in reply to sheila1kerry]

I need a miracle im trying to get will to hey back to work but this time its extremely hard or maybe I'm making it harder by thinking of the unknowns.

I hate being judged but that is where the self esteem comes in it plays a big factor in society i just hate getting better for a certain time frame which could be years or months then relapse it is no good it ruins my life in all aspects. Thank you for your response it is appreciated

[Windy101]

it sounds like you need to give yourself a break. If you have a disorder, it is not your fault. You didn't ask for it and you don't deserve it. Give yourself a big pat on the back for trying so hard and caring as much as you do. You are no slacker; you're a hero for going out there when you are so frightened. If you find that you cannot work, then you will be entitled to funds to help you along. All is not lost. Do the very best you can, and that's all you can do. But don't be mean to yourself. Say kind words instead that you are brave and special. If society judges you, that's due to ignorance. Try not to focus on what other people might be thinking, and instead on how you can be good to yourself during this difficult time.

[Pocha45 in reply to Windy101]

Thank you for your response its crazy I never want it to get that bad i was going to take a work from home job for a few months however that will just enable me .my state the money you get is not much at all .....while I'm home i think about not being at work . Then whenI'm working all i think about is i can't wait to be home. I've been working for 20 years and had about 3 x this happened. .thank God for my mom but I feel like I'm not being adult my friends dont get it eithet but i dont expect them to. But i never got the help i really needed when i was dealing with this before so now im alot older and i think it's effecting me more. Some days i feel like i can others not. ..meds I'm on don't seem to be making a difference but is only been 3 weeks. People don't realize how hard it is to reprogram all the damage and or minds control every aspect of our lives.

[Windy101 in reply to Pocha45]

No, they don't understand it, or how lucky they are not to be dealing with these things. Deep breaths, try to relax, you need to give the meds a little more time to see what they do. Your mom loves you and wants to help. Maybe you can think of things you can do for her that will make her life easier so it's more of a give and take situation. Might make you feel better.

[sheila1kerry]

Hi again, when i went for CBT the guy who does it said to slowly expose yourself to going out. For instance the first day give yourself a manageable goal, say to walk to the end of your road. Try this for a few days to slowly build your confidence back up. Once you are on top of that you go a bit further. It is about re-training your brain. As you are exposed to your fears the panic becomes less and less each time. Take baby steps and don't put too much pressure on yourself, you are young, bright and ambitious , this will carry you through.

I wish you the very best and i believe you can do it, just don't leave it too long before you start the fight back. Even to go outside your front door today, that could be day one.

Remember a journey of 1,000 miles begins with one step.

❤️❤️❤️

[Pocha45 in reply to sheila1kerry]

Thanks its not just that i think about my future im an adult going through this i know im not the only one i need to learn to drive get my oen place get a good job again its just much pressure and dealing with the phobia i did go outside yesterday it was ok until my train episode but i at least tried

...apart of me wants to give up i been holding on for over a year and a half

[sheila1kerry]

Please don't give up, life is worth fighting for. Some people do not have the ability to fight it but you sound like you could beat this. You need to build your confidence back up.

Never give up ❤️

[Pocha45 in reply to sheila1kerry]

I know im just tired of failing im tired of the insecurities being embarrased of myself inside and out...sorry just venting its like some days im like this can really work then i wake up the next day and have to reconvince myself. ....mornings sucks for Anxiety and depression. .i haven't worked in 3 months and I feel so weird but yet the thought of starting over scares the hell out of me. I feel ungrateful people are out there busting their ass which once was me trying to hold down bills and just family and taking care of everything I'm over here and had to leave my permanent position because I could not handle it anymore.but i guess this is life . Im reading a self esteem book right now. ....i am forcing myself to go out no matter what.

[sheila1kerry in reply to Pocha45]

Try not to expect too much from yourself straight away. It is an illness and you have been unwell, let yourself heal a bit without beating yourself up for it. You have the rest of your life to work, like all illnesses if you go back too soon into the workplace, you could re-lapse and that would make you feel even worse. Try to get some help from your doctor, mine got me the CBT it takes time but if you get well it will be worth it. Try to stay calm and not stress yourself too much, be as kind to yourself as you would be towards a friend who was suffering as you are. Get some help, reach out, ask ❤️

[Pocha45 in reply to sheila1kerry]

I have been getting help but its not working the way I want it too im trying but yes the negative self talk is no good thank you for your encouraging words

[Dhoom]

Ssri meds will help u