My heart hurts

[Starrlight]

Someone hurt me last night...again... same hurt, different day. I don’t really feel like forgiving him this time. He is the one who should be ashamed but he is just dandy. I told him I won’t tolerate it and he did not apologize but made excuses. I was only ... you were only what?... being an ass? I feel far away emotionally from him but I’m trying to not let the pain suck up my day or affect my happiness... but it is... all I can do is my best... my feelings are real... and I wish I had someone to share the entirety of it with. I feel like I can’t really get into what happened. I don’t know why I’m writing here. Just to be heard I guess so thank you for reading. Have yourself some beautiful amazing moments. Love joy peace

[All_alone]

I'm so sorry. I may be able to relate. Hugs!! ❤

[Starrlight in reply to All_alone]

((((((((Big hug)))))))) ❤️ All_alone I hope you are well

[melbrown]

Big hugs & lots of love Starrlight... know we are here for you.💗

[Starrlight in reply to melbrown]

Love to you, a great big hug and thank you so much Melbrown. It’s just stinkin because I’m trying to not feel bad but I can’t help it and the person who should feel bad doesn’t seem to care. Well I’m resilient I’ll be okay.

[Gymz]

Remember people will treat u the way u allow them to.....Demand to b treated with love and respect ..Happy Mother's Day ( if u are a mom)

[Starrlight in reply to Gymz]

Sorry I think I replied in the wtong space, see it further down.

[Ddorne]

Starrlight, I’m so sorry. It’s so difficult to be angry, but we have to own our feelings. I hope everything works out.

Liti

[Starrlight in reply to Ddorne]

Thank you so much Liti. I’m okay with being angry and saddened because these are the normal emotions anyone would have. I do hope things work out. Right now I want to be far away from the one who hurt me.

[Starrlight]

Yup well I’m trying ...I did strongly stand up for myself and made myself clear but it’s happened before and I bet it will happen again. I have to figure something out. Thank you Gymz

[Gymz in reply to Starrlight]

Yes..sometimes it is time to move on .no matter how much u love a person.because of the emotionally strain on body and mind..

[Michael8072]

Big big hug 🤗and some kind caring thoughts.

[Starrlight in reply to Michael8072]

Big hug and caring thoughts to you too 🤗 hope you are well Michael.

[Bella97CA]

You do not deserve to be hurt no one does.

[Starrlight in reply to Bella97CA]

Hi Bella hope you are well. I don’t know sometimes I think it’s karma and maybe I do deserve it.

[Bella97CA in reply to Starrlight]

You don’t deserve it hun. Please don’t think that way. I feel your being taken advantage of. You are strong. Don’t let anyone have power over u

[Starrlight in reply to Bella97CA]

I won’t let him have power over me, no... thank you Bella

[Starrlight]

So I’m dealing with accepting that someone I love is someone who I can’t trust. But I know everyone has problems. I’ll live. It’s just nice to let things out so thank you all I’m feeling better now. I’m deep breathing my worries to the side.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Starlight my heart goes out to you for what you are going through, I was the other side of this, I was the one with the issues and problems, it took losing everything and everyone to see the damage I had caused. You do not have to accept this I know that it's not so simple because of life and love, but ultimately you have to think of your well being... I think to myself would I be OK with this if it was my daughter, friend or lover who was going through this if the answer is no then it is time to think of yourself. I hope you feel less alone, keep safe have a lovely day.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

((((((((Cjba)))))) good point ... I would not allow abuse toward my children at all so why allow it to happen to me? I feel kind of trapped.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

one the hardest things any of us can do is put ourselves first, all of the societal constraints come into play home, work, children's parent or loneliness. but when you remove those from the equation you are left with someone treating another badly, sweetheart he isn't going to change without a catalyst whether that be regret or loss etc, but this is about you and your well-being. have you got people around you that you can open up to and confide in? message me if you just want to talk any time after 4pm GMT (UK). my thoughts will be with you bestwishes.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much 🙏 😊

[Want2BHappy3]

Sorry for how your feeling, he keeps doing it because you allow it, there are no consequences just words and knows it. You should break up with him for Good if he really cared for You? He wouldn’t keep doing it. Please seek counseling You deserve Better 🙏

[Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3]

There are consequences but I don’t really want to get into details. Its too touchy of a subject for me to come out with it. I do think he loves me but maybe I’m wrong. I’m so sad.

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Starrlight]

I understand, talk to someone so you can move on. Everything will work out 🙏

[Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3]

I love it! I was just thinking that, that everything will work out. That’s what my mom used to tell me. Thank you for the comfort Want2BHappy3. How are you doing?

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Starrlight]

You know how we are ups and downs. You sound better, you know we’ll Always be here for You. We may Not always say the right thing? Trust me it’s coming from a good Place. We All want what’s Best for each other 🙏

[Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3]

True Want2BHappy3 you are amazing 😘

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Starrlight]

Awwe, thank You, I mean it. A lot of us don’t have anyone to talk too. It’s Nice that we can come here for advice with No judgement. We’re All in the same boat. We’re Not Alone 🙏

[Starrlight in reply to Want2BHappy3]

((((((Hug)))))))

[Lu_naa]

I am sorry for your pain. I have been there. I think regardless of gender we have been “ stuck”

I’m relationships that are not giving but rather takers. I have learned to become so immune to letting go to what does not motivate me or motivate “ us” to grow.

I say you deserve better. Letting go is hard but if your heart feels hurt and perhaps empty .. listen to your intuition

Hope I helped. Love shield too hurt . Love is understanding despite the bumps on the road 🌺💕

[Starrlight in reply to Lu_naa]

I do deserve better but I can’t let go

[AceAmber]

Don't worry ,everything will be fine just don't let other people hurt you again and always love yourself. Never forget that Self Love is the BEST LOVE and if you lo e yourself enough no one can hurt you.

[Starrlight in reply to AceAmber]

Thank you AceAmber I’ll be focusing on loving myself.

[Hidden]

This is the place to share

It helps us feel safe when we need to share. So ur helping us as wexare community and friends rt?? I’d do it for us rt? Sorry u got hurt. Really really U sound kind and tender hearted. Don’t mean that in a neg way

Give it to yourself so u can be thre for others in ur future. Ur worth it He not so much

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Brig I don’t know what I’ll do I’m just trying to hold myself together

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

don't have the right words...…….everyone **** here- and not saying this because it is the right thing to say- everyone here- hundreds and thousands of people know exactly how you feel and you would be caring and non judgemental…...a true true true true all weather friend to us...……..ten thousand people here are sending you a ten hour gentle hug...……...you can trust these people I promise and they care care care care for you...…….

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

if you need to fall apart do so.....go in the bathroom and run the water...……….tons of nurses do...…….and they don't come any tougher...….

[Ragdoll15]

Have you tried some kind of councilling to get to the root of the probrm

[Starrlight in reply to Ragdoll15]

Good idea. I’ll talk to my therapist about it. I feel blessed to have her. Thanks.

[Hidden]

Well I have been really hurt. So if you do feel like talking sometime, write me❤️

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Ok thank you I hope you are okay.

[RecreateMyself]

Hi Starrlight, Im sorry your going thru this. I’m in the same boat and it’s hard but today I decided to just ignore him and take care of myself. I’m tired of the roller coaster.

[Starrlight in reply to RecreateMyself]

Sorry similar is happening to you. I feel like what actually has happened I have to keep secret. It sucks.

[RecreateMyself in reply to Starrlight]

Hi, I know this can make u feel sad. May I ask who u are trying to keep this a secret from?

[RecreateMyself in reply to RecreateMyself]

More info... the reason I ask this is because I did the same thing and it only help to isolate me from the my family and friends.

[Starrlight in reply to RecreateMyself]

Well it’s just hard to talk about but I do need to get it out. Can I pm you?

[Starrlight]

I’m sorry you hurt too. I don’t know what to do with myself right now that I’m just so down the usual things that I love are hard to do. I’ll try my best to do them anyway. Blessings to you

[HopeWithSmile]

So sorry to hear that, dear Starrlight

Nowadays, I am just trying to ignore as many things as I can, because this while virus situation is really getting on my nerves... I am frustrated, that during such unprecedented times some people still have time and will to be sh*tty to other people. I really don't get it.

Sending hugs to you!!!

xxx

[Starrlight in reply to HopeWithSmile]

True ignore the small things if we can I think. I dont know what to do about my problem but I can’t ignore this and my view of the love of my life is tainted and I really need to do something but not sure what.

[HopeWithSmile in reply to Starrlight]

If you don't know what to do - then just don't do anything. Time will tell.

My instant decision-making got me nowhere, so I am trying to change this element in my life.

[Starrlight in reply to HopeWithSmile]

I’m sorry you are frustrated with these times, yeah, sucks right now.

Thanks for the wise words. I’ll just see what happens. I did take action and maybe that’s enough for now... I feel some peace about that.

[HopeWithSmile in reply to Starrlight]

You are always welcome! 💗

You know, I realised it soon too, but the most important thing in this madness - is inner peace. If you have it, then that's enough for now.

[Starrlight in reply to HopeWithSmile]

So true HopeWithSmile inner peace tells me I’m doing my best and I’m happy that you are here and that you have reminded me of it. Best to you beautiful!

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

It's learning to respond in joky way when something mean or cruel is said. He is waiting for your familiar response and wanting so much for you to be tough and not sensitive. So remind him who hung out his socks and pants who cooked his meal who took care of mum and tell him not to flash when he forgets to do his flies up. When you make them laugh their mood changes. Romance might wear off but love is peculiar.

[Hidden]

remember - to us- anxiety is normal....esp in this stressful and harsh world. We appreciate how caring and accepting this group is …...you all.....make a bigger difference than you may know.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Yup this group is amazing!

[Hidden]

💕 I’m sorry hun xx big hugs !

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Hi Hope! Thanks

[CourageousCloud]

I feel your pain. A couple nights ago, I discovered Lisa A. Ramano's page on YouTube called Breakthrough Life. She has extremely helpful videos about narcissistic abuse. I wish I'd had access to such information years ago! I'm no longer married and avoid relationships like the plague because now is all about learning to heal and getting my @#% together. Check her out.

[sponge42]

Sorry you are going through this situation. You deserve to be loved and treated respectfully. Is this your husband or boyfriend? Have you all talked about counseling as a couple? If he is not open, have you thought about counseling for you? I pray that the hurt that you are feeling is something you are open to talking to trusted individuals. I can tell that you are trying to be positive and see life with a bright light, which is great. Would you be open to talking to someone? When I was in struggling in my relationship because we had unhealthy habits, I was able to reach out and talk to people here, 855-382-5433, and they helped me see things in lens that I was blinded by and they helped provide good resources. Just know you are worthy of a great loving relationship. I pray that you are able to mend fences with your partner, have the peace and joy in your heart to share with others, and lean and trust God that he will protect and love you no matter what.

[Starrlight]

I talked about my situation to my therapist for the first time today. I’m trying to figure out what to do. Thank you. I pray a lot and just talk to God maybe He will help me, or maybe not I don’t know.

[Poodie]

Hi Star.

I just saw this post. Would he be willing to go into therapy together ? You may or may not want to give that a try.

I think you will figure out what is best. You are a wise person. I am sure your therapist can help you make the best decision. We are here for you also.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. It is never easy. My best friend had to face a situation also. I was the only other person who knew for a while. She was very hurt. We talked often and managed to finally get to the truth.

Take good care of yourself. Much ❤️. I am here for you anytime.

[Feathe]

The point is why do we attract people who are hurting us and not those who love us??and why are we attracted by them as well? Isn t the story repeating itself and how do we get out of the vicious cicle? It helped me so much when I borrowed psychology books from library to start understanding more about my behaviour and others ' . We are attracted by people who seem familiar to us according to the childhood environment we were raised at. So I was raised by a distant proud show off father , and these were the men I was attracted by and I was attracting. Also bc I was rAised without real love and respect from my parents I did not ask for it from my relationships and I would subconsciously choose men that could not give me any respect bc of their character and their insecurities. Recognising it is the first step to end the cycle..wish you all the best

[Starrlight in reply to Feathe]

Good insights. Thanks Feathe!

[LoveBear]

Starlrlight I’m so sorry you’re going through his...keep writing this community listens and supports

[Starrlight in reply to LoveBear]

Thanks Lovebear!