Guidance??: Hello again friends, I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Guidance??

PackerGirl profile image
16 Replies

Hello again friends,

I haven’t posted since I moved into the woman’s home who is unselfishly allowing me to crash on her couch.

It’s been almost 3 weeks since I’ve been here. I’ve watched the same pattern everyday. She wakes between 9-10 and has her first beer when she awakes. The beer delivery comes every morning around 10 and she then throughout the day proceeds to drink the entire case of beer she orders every morning. Important to note is that she takes antidepressants and is lying to her Dr about her alcohol intake.

Second to this she has a rescue dog that she has not walked once, not once, in the 3 weeks since I’ve been here. She will not allow me to walk him but then scolds and shuns him when he manifests behaviorally due to his excess energy and boredom.

I’m SO torn as what to do, if anything. Not saying/doing something goes against every belief that I have yet I can’t afford to jeopardize her graciousness by allowing me to crash at her place...

Input? I’d be grateful for any honest opinions. Thanks guys!!

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PackerGirl
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16 Replies
Sunflowerxxxxxx profile image
Sunflowerxxxxxx

Report it!!!! The dog deserves better thats terrible

PackerGirl profile image
PackerGirl in reply to Sunflowerxxxxxx

Trust me, I completely agree!! It’s killing me. I’m just scared that if I do, she’ll obviously know it’s me who reported her and she’ll kick me out. I’m currently homeless and literally have nowhere to go. That’s why I’m so upset and perplexed. I need a really creative solution to this problem!!

Sunflowerxxxxxx profile image
Sunflowerxxxxxx in reply to PackerGirl

I feel for you but that dog needs to be out of there and away from her with a family that loves it and will give it the life that it deserves, you really need to do the right thing here

in reply to Sunflowerxxxxxx

That's really easy to say when you're not the one faced with homelessness. What if she does report this because of what you said and is kicked out? She was contemplating suicide before she found this place.

in reply to Sunflowerxxxxxx

And I know this is about to stir the pot, but it needs to said, and where exactly is the poster supposed to go, if in fact, she gets kicked out? I mean the dog situation, should be addressed, but since when did human life and just being able to survive become subsidiary to dogs??

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234

Is it possible to pick a good time to ask if she minds you going to the park and lending her dog as security...that way she might not get offended by you saying it needs walking.

PackerGirl profile image
PackerGirl in reply to Sillysausage234

I tried that but I can try again. I was thinking I could tell her my therapist said I need to take daily walks but feel safer with a dog and then ask her if she’d like to join with him in tow? ...

Sillysausage234 profile image
Sillysausage234 in reply to PackerGirl

Yeah that’s a good plan .....is she easier to talk to after a couple of drinks? Remember you saying she was actually nice and obviously loves her dog so think it’s just a case of working out how to ask her maybe...don’t jeapordise your place on the couch.

It sucks but really you would have never have seen this if you weren't invited in. I know a lot of people are dog lovers here but you have to focus on your own well being right now. I love dogs, cats, cows, pigs. Cows/pigs are put into tiny cages for life to suffer until they are slaughtered. This dog has a much much better life. It is an animal. It has food and water. Ideally yes it would be nice for it to get more exercise but it has shelter and security. If you get kicked out you may not even have those basic things. So it would be cruel to yourself to jeopardize that right now. Maybe wait until you move to another place to report it.

PackerGirl profile image
PackerGirl in reply to

See that’s how I feel as well. I’m a huge animal welfare person but I have no viable alternative options for myself right now. I’ve been sneaking him little treats and loving on him while I’m here. You’re right, I need to wait until I’m able to move on from here, just breaks my heart

Sunflowerxxxxxx profile image
Sunflowerxxxxxx

Could you not report it annomously and then if she says anything you could say it wasnt you because you wouldnt risk being thrown out

in reply to Sunflowerxxxxxx

I’m a dog owner, I’ve had 4 dogs and I have cats, so I’m extremely sensitive to animals and their care.

I here what you are saying and that you feel strongly that removal of the dog is best, but it really might not be best. It could be picked up by the pound and put down in a day or two. This dog has Packer there to love him, give him treats and see the dog is fed and given water. Also non vaccinated dogs come down with worms, kennel cough so easily, it could die that way too. While exercise is always good, it does have shelter, love and attention.

PackerGirl i honestly would leave well enough alone right now. Is the dog in distress at all, seem malnourished? Try to find something around the house, a ball or stuffed animal or something maybe you can play fetch indoors with him. Your well being, having a place to rest your head, a way to get food and perhaps work on any plans you may be working on. This is my input, I’d probably take the dog in myself in a second if you were near by. 🌺💜🌺💜🌺

If it was me. The dog and I would be living under a bridge somewhere because I'd take the dog and leave

mvillarreal profile image
mvillarreal

As a dog owner, I will say this: there are many days when we don't walk the dog, and he stays in his cage. As we have learned from our trainer, dogs actually don't mind this. In the wild, they will usually stay in cramped caves and don't leave unless the alpha gives them permission to do so. As such, while it is a bit concerning that she might not be getting the dog proper exercise, you can rest assured that this is not jeopardizing the dog's basic well-being and will not have any of the damaging effects of trauma, abuse, or neglect. Unfortunately, I don't know that there's much you can do about the fact that the dog might not be getting the exercise he needs. About the alcohol, again, I don't know that there's much you can do about that. She is hurting herself by doing that, but she is not hurting anyone else, so again, don't know that there's much you can do. If at any point, you feel that her life is in immediate danger from her alcohol abuse, definitely call 911 or a poison control center. Unfortunately, there's only so much control we have. If you're really worried about her, maybe you could just politely say, "I say this because I'm really worried about you. Do you not worry about the safety of drinking that much alcohol with antidepressants? I just don't want you to hurt yourself." Also, maybe you could offer to walk her dog again, but if she refuses to allow you to do so, I would just let it go. Honestly, the dog will be okay. Might have a little extra energy or get a little overweight, unfortunately, but this will not be traumatic for the dog, at least.

I would say it's great that you care about the dog, but you have to deal with her and in the end that's her house and you're in a very vulnerable state there and you don't want her to be kicking you out of there. I feel worse for you than I do the dog!!! Wish I could do more to help you, I would be very nervous being around someone like this myself. I'd just say stay in your own lane there.

PackerGirl profile image
PackerGirl

Ok! You have been heard. Thank you SO much for the advice everyone, I’m going to post an update in a minute here - there is news to share!

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