accidents turn into urge to hurt myself

[Starrlight]

I accidentally hurt myself and in that pain I found relief and so.......

Now I keep thinking of cutting myself like I used to do in high school. Those scars are almost gone. It’s not a good idea I know. It’s reeeeaaally not good. I honestly don’t know why this is happening to me my only thought is that online schooling is coming up and I feel like what if i fail to help my kids in their school year?! I’m so stressed and pulling out every coping mechanism I have.

Just wanted to share to get it out. Getting it out helps me see clearly. I know there are many who will say don’t do it. Well I am doing my best not to.

Blessings to all of you

[Aspetta]

No. Don't do it. You need another coping mechanism. Like this website for instance. We all need one another. Stay strong. This too shall pass.

[Starrlight in reply to Aspetta]

Ok thanks I am really trying to make good choices here

[Starrlight]

I just am afraid I won’t be able to get them online right as I stink at technology and then to keep up with all the work ... but you know what!? All I can do is my best so I’ll try... thank you yes they will learn 😊 thanks teacher

[Starrlight]

My younger is in 3 rd grade and has speech and my older is in honors classes in 7th grade... I figure he can help me

[Hidden]

I'm not going to tell you not to hurt yourself, telling ppl not to do something is rarely productive. But I will share with you how I deal with stress and anxiety. I meditate, I go for a hike, i go for a long drive, when i had a moped I'd ride that. But the fact that you are worried about being a good mom an not wanting to fail them, tells me you are a great mom. You have. Nothing to worry about there. Stay strong, I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Sending irie vibrations and love to you.

[Starrlight in reply to Hidden]

Thank you sooooo much! I am a good mom. I love with my entire heart and being. I took a long walk I cooked I meditated I had therapy session I am wiped out. I just need to chill.

Oooh I used to ride mopeds - so much fun! So how are you doing now? Hope you are well.

[Hidden in reply to Starrlight]

Thanks for asking I'm feeling a little down. But at this point it is whatever

[Starrlight]

😊 yes they will ... thank you so much, you are amazing my friend!

[Starrlight]

So true! I hadn’t really had that in mind, thank you! 🙏

[All_alone]

Hi Starr,

For me its the exact opposite. In the past, I have been in so much pain emotionally and also physically with aches and pains from being tense. When I am like that and I cut myself with a knife, fall or bang into something it becomes way too much pain for me. I remember times screaming out in frustration or just break down crying. It was just too much. The school year is a hot topic in this state and many parents are frustrated. I don't have kiddos but I know I would have a hard time home schooling. I can't even imagine your stress over home schooling and the technology and everything else that goes with it. All any of us can do is try our best and getting our thoughts and feelings out there are helpful. Sending you strength!! 🙏❤💪

[Starrlight in reply to All_alone]

Thanks beautiful! Let’s stay strong! ❤️

[Mia898]

Speak to someone in the mental health team but you are doing amazing

[Starrlight in reply to Mia898]

Ok thank you sooooo! ❤️

[Starrlight]

That’s so great 😃

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

I’ll be keeping in touch with you. You’re such a good friend and I can tell you were an excellent teacher.

[Hidden]

Much respect I don't think I could deal with that many lil brats 5 days a week for all those years.

[Starrlight]

Oh yeah! We play Simon Says! They love it! 😍

[melbrown]

Sending big warm hugs to our STRONG Starrlight. Love you hun.

[Starrlight in reply to melbrown]

Awww 🥰 I am feeling the love,... love ya so it means a lot that you’ve called me STRONG you are STRONG too!

[melbrown in reply to Starrlight]

We've been through a lot... sometimes just need to be reminded that we are loved & strong. 💗

[Starrlight in reply to melbrown]

❤️

[Theloudone]

Hoping the wave passed starr

[Starrlight in reply to Theloudone]

Thank you! I’m still fighting it.

[CJ2016]

The urge never really goes away, it just kind of sits idle at the back of your mind for a while then pops back in to say hello every so often.

I've found my self falling back into that rabbit hole as of late and the urge is stronger then ever , I have given in a couple of times recently.

But yeah don't fall back into the rabbit hole, avoid it because its difficult to stop once you start again.

[Starrlight in reply to CJ2016]

Thank you, it has passed for now.

[Starrlight]

Yeah I hear you. Stay safe. Take care of yourself!

[newbie56]

youtube.com/watch?v=3-1s2gq...(Not working as expected?) <3

Hope this makes you smile

[Starrlight in reply to newbie56]

Hey there! Thank you soooooooooo!!! 😊

[newbie56 in reply to Starrlight]

O, Sorry Starr,

It was an old 70's song about a star..."Everybody is a Star"

But you are the star in your family's orbit...that's a fact. <3

[purplestar21]

you're doing amazing. you care about your children and want whats best for them and it sounds like youre doing the best you can. you got this

[Starrlight in reply to purplestar21]

Aww 🥰 thank you