Why do I get hurt so easily by my parents' words?

[Steph2293]

I didn't have a nice childhood. I had to meet my father's expectations about school, always feeling I wasn't enough. Ashamed of getting a bad grade or for worrying about my appearance when all I had to be worried about was my education.

'Look! Don't you feel ashamed for being here?'(I had to take a supplementary exam because I failed at my math exam)

'You are not going to a photoshoot?! You're going to studying!' (I was just fixing my outfit)

My mother has this explosive temperament, so punishments (physical and verbal) were always there. Through the years things changed but you can't erase the past. I discovered a few years back that I was an unwanted child, the abortion didn't work so they had to have me. So I thought that was the reason.

It has been one year since I tried to end my life. The reason? I think I couldn't cope with my thoughts and emotions anymore: thinking that I will never meet my parents' expectations about a high paying job, that scenario hit me. I hurt myself physically and mentally.

Going to therapy has helped, but when my parents criticize me, their words are always there, they don't go away. I can't forget their words. Like they are thinking there is something wrong with me (mentally speaking).

How can I overcome those thoughts?

[Ladybug9]

Are you sharing all of this with your Therapist? And if so, how does he/she tell you to deal with your parents? I had a horrific childhood to say the least and my mom and I were total opposites. She would tell me I was too sensitive and would say cruel things. The older I got, the angrier I got and I just got fed up. I don't let anyone disrespect me and that includes family. Remember, they are just spewing "words. You are not the problem, they are. Don't let anyone disrespect you like that.

[meechie-18]

My father though he loved me was a domineering person with my way or the highway attitude especially when I became older. I tried to be the good girl and a people please.

However because I am also bipolar on the depression side, I sometimes cried uncontrollably This definitely wasn't pleasant. Also on my mother's side of the family is a long history of mental illness. It wasn't until I was 39 years old after my father died,

that I was properly diagnosed and under the care of a psychiatrist. Things going back to childhood are very deep seeded One thing that I have found helpful especially during

COVID is doing cognitive therapy. I'm not saying it works for everyone but please speak with your therapist and see his or her opinion about it. I also write down my feelings

almost every day in a journal. Visually seeing the writing can be a useful experience. I'm not saying it's always a pleasant experience, but it gives u a clear perspective. Depending what kind of condition U R living with under COVID EITHER working at home or unfortunately

unemployed, U can try to start your day with something uplifting in my case I like old

school energetic funk like the Gap Band and at least gets me out of bed and in a better

mood. Just reaching out to the group is a positive sign that you want to feel better about yourself. But as the previous person said talk to your therapist and delve into these issues and take a plan of action that improves the quality. Also if U feel comfortable enough U can reach out to close trusted and discrete friends to explain how you feel Receiving support like this I have found to be therapeutic

[pink318]

Hi- Thank you for sharing. Have you talked to your parents regarding how you feel when they criticize you?

I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Though it’s hard, try not to focus on their words. Think of something good about your parents.

I hope things will go well in your family. Praying for you. God bless.

[judiama]

What a position you are in and I am so sorry! I am the parent of a daughter who is suffering. I know there is no way I can take away those words you have heard but please know this You are here because you are supposed to be...You are important...You are you and anything you accomplish makes you greater! you tell yourself that everyday and I do mean look in the mirror and say the words out loud! My daughter is afraid to try anymore she has lost too much! But one thing she still has is she loves everyone who will let her love them. Such a great capacity. Even with all of this being my belief she feels inadequate and as for me I am not sure what I said to keep her feeling this way. All I can do is offer support and for you the words you are here you are important and hope you can take these words believe them because they are so true! Here is a virtual hug and I wish I could give you a real one...please stay safe!