Okay, so that didn't work very well. No, not at all.

[Daesin]

Due to a medical condition I have been experiencing severe anxiety and major depression as well as medically induced post-traumatic stress disorder. I began seeing a psychiatrist through virtual visits from my kitchen table in April. I live in a small community and working in the mental health field I'm connected to all of the service providers in a five-county area. This provider was chosen because she is from the other side of the state and we utilize tele-med... she's on the computer screen. It works out great because of the anonymity. This was all going wonderfully. I was comfortable enough that I was able to talk to her and we were developing a good rapport and getting things worked out.

Unfortunately our government decided that I now have to go into the office in order for them to get paid. Well that's where the problem started. There are multiple obstacles to an office visit. Because of my current health issues I cannot drive. And I don't want to go to the doctor. So arranging transportation is a challenge plus I'm exposing myself in a county which has an exploding death rate. I get into the office which I'm not comfortable with to begin with. I walk in the waiting room & I'm greeted by multiple clients of MINE. I'm wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt so I'm obviously on business, right?

My anxiety level was already so high from the concept of I'm in public & going to a DR! Another fun aspect of this medical condition is that I must carry a cane now because I cannot walk without falling down. My walk my speech I appear to be drunk. Plus I'm potentially going to bring home a virus to my husband and have I said I don't want to be here...oh no, wow look, I know everybody in the waiting room, EVERYONE... isn't this wonderful? Lots of questions since I haven't been at work in 8 months. Damn, yeah, oh, sure I'd love to have a chat with you all right here.

I finally get called back and explain to my provider that this was not going to work for me. I'm hoping that as our State closes again that virtual visits will again be covered by my insurance company so that I can resume services. My blood pressure was 192/119.... I felt like my whole insides were vibrating. the nurse kept trying to get me to pee in a cup.... are you kidding? I could probably vomit on you but I don't think I could pee right now. It really wasn't a good visit. I asked my primary to take over meds.

So before anybody starts in on the oh you're just getting too excited about the covid anxiety, my husband has half of a lung is on oxygen constantly there are two leaking valves in his heart and he has blood cancer. So we are always on alert and using precautions. And knowing that there are people dying around us is a little hard to take right now.

Blessings to you all and stay healthy.