So Crowded yet You're all alone

[Dwi94]

Have you ever feel alone in crowded situation? There's so many people but yet you feel all alone. Right now I felt this way. Lately I've been thinking this way when I'm in the middle of a new years party back in Bali. We're come to the beach to have a new years party, so people there, they drinking playing with fireworks, talking, taking a picture togather, and so on. I'm in the middle of it, yet there's no one realize I'm there, nobody to talk too, no one that I can ask to take a picture or play with fireworks, no one. I'm a misfit and I can't do anything about it. At that exact moment I said I'm all alone what am I gonna do? That's exactly the feeling of anxiety of being alone. I don't want to being alone, nobody wants it, yet untill now, I think I don't have any friend to share a story, no one to tell about my success, only this scary feeling.

Untill now I'm still have this feeling especially whenever I'm in the mood of the party. I feel all alone, because it is I'm all alone.

Is there anyone feel the same way? How you overcome this situation? I always feel I'm not special anymore, I'm a misfit, just a loser who's spent the whole day all alone..

[Whatever03]

Well i haven’t over come it I’m currently in the same boat and idk what to do. I was always the strong friend the one who you can ho over there house to eat when you had no food or a place to sleep when you got evicted. Now that I’m laid off i have no one i can turn too if that’s my situation i feel like people are avoiding me because I’m not on top any more. I’m barely surviving off of my unemployment and i don’t even have anyone to complain too. I’ve been job hunting without any luck. I’m so alone and depressed all i wanna do i lay blankly in my bed that’s why i joined here because idk how much longer i can feel like this

[Dwi94 in reply to Whatever03]

I've been there, I know how it feels when ppl seems like avoiding me, I guess in here I'm not alone. Just remember you are who you are, you're special, don't give up. It is hard at the beginning, but it'll get easier later on as long as we're not given up on life. We got you, in here we're support each other, don't given up you're special..

[Miss_Aero]

You are not a loser. Could it be that maybe that is not your scene. When I was younger the party scene was great now I'd so rather watch netflix than be at a party. I understand feeling alone and not having friends. I'm in same boat except I feel lack of friends is cause I dont trust anybody. Do you have any hobbies? Maybe you could find someone who has same interests as you and start there. As for wanting to share your day or success. I am always happy to listen. 🙂

[Dwi94 in reply to Miss_Aero]

Thank you for your kind words. Perhaps I have the same feel about ppl like you, not trusting them, or perhaps I just don't find ppl with the same interests.

Well I'd like to share my interests, I love music, hell I even try to play instruments right now like piano and guitar but still in the beginning of the journey. I'd like watching Netflix too, but have you ever jealous with ppl that watching it with friends or their girl/boy friends? Because I am.

I always imagening myself watching with someone that have the same taste of movie, and eat snack togather, even after movie, we talk about it, and share our thoughts. That's what I really want, but the reality is not, I'm all alone that's sucks.

Have you ever watched The Big Bang Theory? Friends? That's kinda friendship is what I really want, even I know it's just a movie, but still if ai ever surrounded by that kind of environmental, I think I'll never feel alone..

[ashesb03]

You are not a loser. You are a wonderful person. I'm here if you'd ever like to talk. I don't have many friends either. I've pretty much closed myself off. But try to remember that we are not alone. We have all these wonderful people in this group that are here to listen. You are more than welcome to message me and I will listen.

[Dwi94 in reply to ashesb03]

Thank you for your kind word. Loneliness is like idk, a parasite? It crawls me from the inside. I always find my situation feeling alone. Even when I'm with my friend. I'm just listening to them. Perhaps they never recognise if I'm not there.

Two days ago, I'm in running event at Bandung, all ppl there is stranger, after finishing the run I'm just stood there in the middle of the area, surrounded by stranger. But I saw their face really happy, I was wonder why, and the I recognise their not alone, their with their group, with family, with lover, with friends, and I look at to myself. I'm a solo runner, alone with no one to talk to, and share about the running itself. It's bother me a lot, and I go home meet my dad and my brother, just sit there with silence.

Idk how to interact with ppl, how to get a friend with same interests, I want it too, I don't want to spent the rest of my life alone, it's not what I picture my older me. Perhaps it's just me..

[ashesb03 in reply to Dwi94]

It's not just you. I feel the same way alot.

[Matilda15]

I know how you feel. I’m gay and have hidden it for most of my life and it has cost me relationships. I feel like I have a contagious disease. I too just lay in bed and on the couch but I’m hoping by conversing that I can change that

[Dwi94 in reply to Matilda15]

You must be proud of who you are, I know it's difficult at the beginning, but it'll get easier later on. You must accept who you are and make peace with yourself. We're here facing the same problem with anxiety, loneliness, and hopelessness, but we're not given up on life, we're here together, sharing what bothering us, and figure it out togather. We are special and nothing can change it, feel free to express what you feel, we're here for you..

[Matilda15 in reply to Dwi94]

I appreciate it. I started counseling today