Why I need group Therapy

[Sushi33]

I try to be open about the fact that I have depression and anxiety, but sometimes I think it ends up biting me in the ass. I feel like so many times you tell someone about your "issues" and they either so "Oh, I'm sorry you're going through that, have you tried [insert whatever random thing they say]" or "why would you be depressed you have so much [insert whatever positive attribute they choose to say]. I have balked against my therapist repeatedly when she has suggested I go to group therapy mostly because it makes me feel unsafe. Maybe that's why I'm here because I need to talk to people who understand without having to look them in the face while I talk about my mommy issues or whatever...

[gogogirl]

I thought about looking into group therapy although I cannot find a group in my area. Why do you feel unsafe- is it the confidentiality issue etc?

[Sushi33 in reply to gogogirl]

Its not about confidentiality I guess I'm afraid to face others with worse problems than me and then I'll judge myself for being so depressed when I've never had this or that happen to me. Which logically I know is dumb because this isn't a competition, but I suppose all the years of people saying "Oh you shouldn't be so depressed. You have so much going for you. Look at him/her they have real problems" has really done a number on me. I guess in some ways I think I shouldn't be allowed to feel this way.

[gogogirl in reply to Sushi33]

I do that as well but that's depression talking I think. Or maybe guilt. Nami has some great booklets about different conditions including depression. I have some of the booklets. Look up the National Alliance on mental illness on the website, and also see if they sponsor any groups in your area.

[Sushi33 in reply to gogogirl]

I might get to the point that I can try that. I like the anonymity of this online thing though and I don't have to put on real clothes to talk to people here. And I don't have to subject myself to bad coffee and stale pastries (I assume that what they have at these sorts of groups, at least that's what t.v. shows).

[gogogirl in reply to Sushi33]

I went to a NAMI connection group once, and liked it. Unfortunately, I live far from where it is and do not drive at night anymore( eye thing). There was no stale coffee or pastry. In addition NAMI sponsors a walk a thon in the Spring. Again, see what is in your area.

[gmpare in reply to Sushi33]

I feel the same way. It's always the other person whose problems are so much worse. But then I feel bad because I think that I don't matter. To anyone.

[mmarvell]

I feel the same way. I almost feel guilty for feeling depressed because I have no “good reason” to. Facing people in person seems like more than I can handle. At least there is the internet.

[Sushi33 in reply to mmarvell]

Yeah I fear I'll see judgement on the peoples' faces. I'm afraid they would look at me and be like WTF is her problem she should be totally fine. But I guess it is good that we have groups like this on the internet so at least we can maybe connect with others like ourselves. It sucks being the "crazy one" in your friend group. At least here I'm not alone.

[Want2BHappy3]

Too bad but I agree, people don't want to hear it. Unfortunately you have to becarful who you tell. When I speak about it I hear to just do this or that ??? They don't understand it's not that easy. I struggle everyday. My councilor is a waste of time. I'm on medication. I sometimes get the shakes when I'm in public.

[Two_Of_Me]

Wow! We should talk!

I am in much the same place as you! I've been considering group as well, in part because I've allowed myself to let the depression/anxiety isolate me., and it seems like a group setting might force me to create more connections with real people. However, like you I am VERY self conscious about describing my entire situation with people who in some ways have (on the surface) much more challenging circumstances.

I love the pragmatic/cynical tone you strike in your description of this because I can tell there is actually an extremely intelligent and self-aware person there trying to find a way to deal with and retire the emotions that have ruled your life. At the same time, someone who is sensitive enough to understand that others may not have an easy time relating to your pain and resulting limitations on your life. It's def not a competition, but people also tend to view the situation of others through the lens of their own circumstance.

I've spent years in therapy, and while some of it helped, in fact, in the end I had to stop simply because 1:1 therapy had become ineffective. I was spending money and not moving forward. I'm going to explore this in the next 1-2 weeks with my health provider to see what options there are.

If you are at all interested in having more of a conversation, feel free to reach out in a direct message. It's all still anonymous, but we may be able to have a conversation and help each other a bit! I've managed to talk to a couple of other folks this way, and we've had really great exchanges.

[melbrown]

I know how you feel. Sometimes people don't understand anxiety or depression. Yes, on the outside things might seem good, that you shouldn't have these feelings. Yes, there are people in worse situations then you. You are still allowed to have your feelings & work on being healthy. This is great group, very supportive & caring. Hope you find it that way too.

PS. Love the hippo 💛

[Hollienewseason]

Hi there. I just wanted to comment why I don't do groups. This is how I see it, that I'm already anxious so why would I want to put myself in a room full of people that are also anxious. I feel that would further my anxiety by taking on theirs, if that makes sense. So I see no healing properties in going to group. I do feel 1on1 therapy is beneficial for me. Sometimes it takes a while to find a good fit with the right therapist. The co-pays have been an issue for me lately though. My doctor recommended a book that's available at the library called the Anxiety and phobia workbook by Edmund Bourne. It's been very helpful and I may purchase my own copy. Good luck 💗

[cmeanonymous in reply to Hollienewseason]

I have that workbook!!! It’s great!

I used to feel the same as you: how will group help if we all feel this way. I think that’s it completely. Because everyone suffers from the same thing you have a better more understanding mind than telling someone who doesn’t.

Ultimately there will be that one person who will be all grouchy because you haven’t had enough pain in your life but your experiences and brain chemistry is all you. Totally unique to you. Some people LOVE driving. Others hate it. That’s ok.