Why do these feeling and thought keep coming back?

[Doglover309]

I've been to mental health. I've been doing fine for about a year now. I found a way to be happy and get better. I've cut off my abusers from my life, so why can't they stay out of my head? These past few weeks I've done nothing but feel like crying and had the feeling of something heavy sitting on my chest. I'm tired of loosing sleep because I'm scared of the nightmares. I'm tired of when I get low my suicidal thoughts come back. I'm angry that these people ruined my childhood and at times feels like my life and I don't get any closure because there is nothing that can be done about it. I've poured all my time into college, my dogs, my friends, my job, my relationship, and certain family members and try to be happy and help uplift others. So why can't these dark thoughts, horrible people, and hurt/betrayed feeling just go away? Why do I have to be scared of every person that comes near me? Why do I have to be scared of physical contact? Why can't I just be normal?

[Hidden]

Give yourself a break, don’t be so hard on yourself if you can’t get someone out of your head. Please just learn to forgive these people, even if they didn’t do you good. You seem like you’re holding onto those people and replaying all the bad things in your head. They don’t deserve to be thought about if they treated you badly. Sorry you had to go through that. Don’t give up. YOU ARE NORMAL ❤️ sending love to you x

[Doglover309 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you. It's just hard, you know. Mostly because I want one of these people back in my life. I just want my mom back but I know that's impossible when she's still with her monster of a husband. Your right, but how do you let go? I managed to forgive the man who killed my grandfather but he didn't hurt me directly, so how do I forgive them for all the hurt that they caused me?

[Hidden in reply to Doglover309]

I’m still learning to let go. I just got out of a toxic relationship and somedays are harder than others but just keep pushing through and put one foot in front of the other and it’ll lead you to where you need to be. Forgiving isn’t easy. Trust me I know! But when you forgive someone it doesn’t mean you have to run back to them? You forgive and forget. Just move on with your life, I know it’s easier said than done but your past doesn’t define you and neither do the people who were bad to you.

[Doglover309 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I hope you’re doing ok too.

[Hidden in reply to Doglover309]

You’re welcome! I’m here for you and yes the nights are hard but I think i’ll be okay eventually. thanks ❤️

[26Savage]

You just like me 😫