My Story

[Islandgirl15]

Hi everyone I only joined on Wednesday after the doctor diagnosed me as having anxiety and depression and put me on medication. I have down since October/November last year. I put it down to being anemic and deficient in B12 but I didn't feel better after treatment and was still struggling. In December my mum was in and out of hospital her health deteriorating and while at the hospital I collapsed. I carried on feeling down and anxious then covid hit and I stopped going out had more bad days then good. The final straw came when my mum passed away in June. It's been so hard and I feel such a failure. I'm now worried what my work is going to think. I am currently on furlough but due back in August which I don't feel strong enough to do so I'm not sure what will happen if the dr will sign me off or my employer keep me furloughed or will I be out of a job. I'm worried what the future will hold.

[swimminghusky]

With FMLA (the family medical leave act) you should have a job to return to even if you stay out for a full year. You should have this with any employer if you have already worked for them 1 year or more.

[Wiganladlovesapie]

Hi. I’m Andy.

I’m so sorry to hear about what you have been going through. I also would like to give you my sincere condolences with the passing of your Mum. So very sorry.

You are carrying so much on your shoulders. On top of everything, you are grieving the loss of your Mum.

Are you able to say why you feel like such a failure? If not, that’s perfectly fine.

All I can say is that the one thing you have to do is be kind to yourself. It’s a stressful time so making sure you get enough rest, food & sleep. You could benefit from from some bereavement counselling. If you feel that could help.

We are all here for you. Remember that.

So for now you take good care of yourself.

Always here,

Andy🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

[Islandgirl15 in reply to Wiganladlovesapie]

Thank you

[Cb1963]

I do feel sorry for you,its been a difficult time for you to say the least, I had a quick read on your previous post, and I can understand you be worried about taking the mirtrazapine especially after doing so well with the weight loss that you have achieved, but it is a very low dose you have been prescribed, and it will help things over the coming weeks,as for going back to work, you still have a couple of more weeks to adjust to getting how you feel about this,your company may only want you back in on a part time schedule, or if you don't think you are ready go back to work,tell the doctors and explain how you feel and request a sick note,the B12 deficiency can affect your mental decisions, and you can get other health problems that need to be kept an eye on that are common ailments, and all this can affect how you are feeling,its been a tough time for you, and if you've not had a shoulder to lean on,or had any emotional support you are bound to be feeling raw and sensitive to everything that happening around you,hopefully you might get a few more replies, but I wish you well.

[Hidden]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through! That’s so tough but you are sooo strong and amazing! Keep fighting this anxiety/depression! You can overcome this! Sending love to you girl ❤️ Remember to focus on the present and where you’re at now.

[McK456]

Hi Islandgirl15,

I’m sorry to hear of your mom passing. That is very difficult.

I’m new to this site myself, about a month) and I have improved greatly by meditating each day and spending time reading a devotional in a quiet part of my house. If you have not tried meditation before, look up on YouTube or read some articles. Good luck, I’ll be thinking of you today.

[Islandgirl15 in reply to McK456]

Thank you, I haven't tried meditation but will give it ago. I used to love reading but lost interest in it. I will have to try it again.

[VeggieLover21]

My heart goes out to you! I really hope you can give yourself grace at this time. You have been through so much. Treat yourself with extra kindness... it's not easy but it's necessary.

One thing I keep reminding myself is to stay in the moment not think into the future and add worry to my day. How can I take care of myself today? What would make today feel better? If feeling better seems impossible know that others have been in that hopeless place before. You can and will get better. It's okay to sit in the pain, grief and discomfort for a little while... especially with the support of friends, family and support professionals. I was hesitant about going on meds but reached a point where it was necessary to function.

I have relied on music and personal study to help relieve the difficult emotions. I am reminded of all the songs about brokenness being where the light gets in. (Ex: Jason Gray the wound is where the light gets in). You are being remade into a beautiful stained glass picture. It might feel hopeless, painful, sharp, jagged but know that something beautiful can come out of this situation. Look up 'kintsugi' "it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise."

I can't imagine the loss and grief you are going through. Thank you for reaching out to this community. Know that we are here for you.

[Holaaaa]

Losing your Mom is one of the most challenging things you can go through even in the best of times. To have it happen during a pandemic is incredibly stressful so please take care of yourself. After I lost my Mom I had a breakdown and ended up in the hospital for a week. Do whatever you need to do and don't worry about what work thinks because I think everyone has become more understanding since we are all affected by what's going on in our country and the world. They may or may not understand but the most important thing is to take care of yourself and find self compassion because you are going through a lot right now. Give yourself a break!