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[carolk1955]

I am very depressed, mostly because of the place where I live. I had my own apartment for 10 years, up until 2017 when my husband died. I loved that apartment. But after my husband died I wasn't very functional for awhile, and my social worker decided I belonged in a personal care home. Had I known what was coming I never would have moved, but now it is too late. The only items I could take to the personal care home was my clothing. I lost all the rest of my possessions: my PC, TV, DVDs (about 50 yoga videos), stereo, furniture, bookcases and all of my books. And I lost my car. I miss all these things terribly. I live in a house with 16 other people, none of whom I share any interests with. I have no family, no friends. There are no activities here, nothing to do. And thanks to the advice of the local dental clinic, I had all my upper teeth extracted. And I can't afford a denture. So I pay $1000 a month to live here. They provide meals--everybody gets the same thing, and I can't chew most of it. They manage my medications--I had no trouble managing my own medications. They do my laundry--and it's always wrinkled--that upsets me. I need to have a single room because I have PTSD. They don't have any single rooms available. This is "assisted living". I don't think I need assisted living--I provided for myself perfectly well. There are retirement communities which I can't afford which offer really nice "amenities". I'm afraid I'll be stuck here or in a place like this for the rest of my life. My social worker took a different job and now I have another one who could care less about helping me. This is not my hometown, my husband and I moved here after we got married. Now that he's gone I wish I could move back to my hometown but I have no transportation--it is 85 miles away. I am so bored and lonely I don't know what to do. I see a therapist once a week and that's pretty much the extent of my human contact. I make too much in social security to qualify for Medicaid, which would pay for my denture and give my peer support counseling. I am so stuck between a rock and a hard place I don't know what to do.

[Jadedoe]

omg, sounds like a nightmare! And more like jail or a homeless shelter. Did u know u would have a room mate and they hold ur meds clothes etc? If u went or were promised something its not u can sue and get an appt. I would not put up with that go over the casemangers head to the supervisors and make a demand to be placed else where u can atleast have ur own room.. im here any time to talk..

[Pagesofwords]

I'm so sorry for your situation, Carol. That sounds really rough! My best thoughts are that you do have a say--and your social worker needs to be helping you. Please keep trying! If it's a public agency that the social worker works for, maybe they have a different person who could help, who might be more proactive in getting you a better living situation. Did you sell all your belongings or are they in storage? I'm wondering if you have a church home--if so, maybe the pastor or some caring people from the church could help. Or perhaps you could reach out to a social services agency. I am sorry for how lonely you are feeling. Is there an activity that you like to do that helps to cheer you? For example, you must really like yoga? Or crossword puzzles, crocheting, music, reading, etc. I have learned it's important (especially during COVID-19) to get outside and get sunshine every day. Taking a walk or just sitting and watching birds or nature. I wish you well, Carol. If you need someone to talk to, I'm glad to correspond with you. I am at home all day--and don't know yet if I'll be going back to work. I work in a school--and no clear decisions have been made about reopening. I am 62 so a bit concerned about the virus. My prayers for your well-being.

[carolk1955 in reply to Pagesofwords]

Thank you for your kind words. I already have on several occasions, asked for a different case worker. I was told they are too short staffed to switch me. The supervisor was very un-helpful--seemed like he could care less. I wish I had at least one person in my life who I felt really cared about me. I don't know where to go to find such a person. Right now I have 2 minor crises: I have arthritis in my right hand which is really bothering me. I take 3,000 mg ibuprofen a day. I sent for 2 braces which were too small because my hand is swollen. I just sent for another one which is universal sized. I hope it works. The house administrator didn't cash my June rent check in June; he waited until July and then cashed both my June and July rent checks at the same time. That really threw off my bank account--now I don't have enough money to pay August rent. I called a couple of sources listed on 211 for rent assistance. They aren't active at present because of COVID. I was supposed to have a dr's appt this week and get blood tests done. Unfortunately the person who was going to give me a ride is dr-ordered self-quarantined because of COVID for I don't know how long. The dr won't order anything for either my thumb arthritis or my overactive bladder without seeing me. As far as my belongings, I had no way to get them to storage and no one to help me. I had to leave everything in the apt and they charged me $3,000 to dispose of them. That breaks my heart. Everything I worked so hard for.

[Pagesofwords]

I am so sorry this happened with all your belongings. And sorry for your rent concerns. Depending on what state you live in, maybe you can get help for August rent by looking at your state's Finance Authority website. In my state, there is a “COVID Eviction and Foreclosure Prevention Program" website that helps tenants. The application is all done online and after approval, funds are electronically deposited into the tenant's bank account. I don't know if every state has this but I'm assuming it should have some form of that because of the CARES Act.

Maybe your social worker would know about funding possibilities in your state. Is your house administrator understanding if you're a little late with your rent? I hope that it works out OK for you!

Your hand arthritis sounds painful. That's a lot of medicine you're taking. Does it upset your stomach? I have taken a lot of pain meds for my knees in the past. I'm mostly fine now. Do you have osteoarthritis or rheumatoid arthritis? I had osteoarthritis in both my knees (before having total replacement surgery), and I used to attend a Red Cross Arthritis water exercise class a couple days a week. It really helps a lot of people's joints to exercise in water. BUT--now there aren't any open swimming pools because of the pandemic!

I hope your MD can help relieve your pain and assist you with the bladder issues. Would taking a taxi to the MD office be a possibility for you? I also hope your friend does not have COVID (just quarantining, right?) and could drive you there soon. It's usually 2 weeks (or 10 days??) of quarantine since exposure, I believe.

Do you have any pets? I have one cat. We are looking for a dog but haven't found one yet. They are scarce for adoption around here. I love dogs and cats. Also, children. I work with elementary age and preschool age kids. I don't know if I will this school year or not. Not knowing my immediate future for work is a concern of mine.

Are you retired? If so, what kind of work did you do in the past? I was an editor more than 30 years and also did part-time child care all those years and more. I've been in the school system since 2016.

Well, I must get on with my day. Time for another cup of coffee! And time to sit in the recliner and do my crossword puzzle. Hope your hand gets to feeling better. Does it hurt when you type? Take care, Carol.

[carolk1955 in reply to Pagesofwords]

This past week I tried a number of places listed at the 211 website for rent assistance. Some had no funds available and one, a church, normally would help me but due to COVID isn't helping anybody right now. My social worker said he'd call my administrator with the idea that I'd add some to each month's rent for God knows how long. I don't think he ever called my administrator. As yet I haven't said anything to the administrator. I don't think they can evict anybody during COVID. My finances are pretty tight each month since I'm self-treating my arthitis and overactive bladder problem. I have osteoarthitis in my right hand. My past family doctor sent me to physical therapy for it. And I had a good brace that helped. I had cats all the years between 1979 and 2017, sometimes 6 at a time and I loved them. I miss them so much. Unfortunately where I live no pets are allowed. It's good that you are still able to work, I worked for 15 years at my last job which involved working with computers all day, until I got fired for excessive absenteeism and filed for Social Security Disability. For a couple of years i worked as an editor for a company that publishes medical textbooks in Philadelphia. I really liked that job. My favorite job was as a phlebotomist in a hospital where I worked for 9 years. I should have stayed there and not quit when I did. I never had kids, never wanted to have kids. It doesn't really hurt when I type so much as when I use the mouse. In the past I had a special ergonomic mouse that I really liked. They don't have taxis anymore in my area, so that is not an option for transportation. I miss my car. It seems like when I lost my independence and freedom, I lost alot of what was important in my life. I don't make enough in Social Security to afford a better senior community with alot of activities and other people. It's a very depressing thought that I might be stuck in this place for the rest of my life. A community would be $3,000 to $4,000 a month. I make less than $1,400 a month. I'll keep looking but so far it seems like the only option would be to move into my own apt, which would include having to replace all my furniture. At least I could have a cat if I did that. You take care also.

[Pagesofwords]

Hi, Carol. Thanks for writing back. I have to leave town in a few minutes (going to visit my mom, socially distancing in her front yard), and so don't have much time to reply here. When I get to the motel, I will write more. It's a four-hour drive. I hope today will be a better day for you. Is your weather nice? If so, enjoy some sunshine!