I'm new here and I have been dealing with depression for quite a while. I'm currently in graduate school after being away for thirteen years. I'm older than most of the other students and I just don't seem to fit in anywhere. I'm also working as a student-worker at a government building, and again, I have that same feeling of not belonging. Recently, I've just completely shut down at work and I'm not really speaking unless it has something to do with the job I have to do. I just feel like no one really cares about anything I have to say, thus I just feel it is better to not speak at all. Why should I speak when no cares about what I have to say; others only offer snide comments, or talk down to you like you're beneath them?
I don't enjoy doing a lot of the things I used to do. When I lived overseas, I used to cycle as a means of 1) staying physically active, and 2) a great way to escape my thoughts. Where I live now is not very safe for cyclists and with work and school, I'm finding little time for myself. When there are moments when it's somewhat quiet, I'm just so mentally and emotionally drained that I can't even imagine getting on my bike for a ride.
I just feel so down all the time and there are seldom moments when I don't feel low.