Reality Check: Per my last post; I was... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Reality Check


Per my last post; I was made fun of by RNs and my Dr during a surgical procedure, when they thought I was under. I wasn’t and I heard them making fun of how fat I am and how unattractive. They were saying it was a shame and that if I lost weight perhaps I wouldn’t be so ugly. I’ve been devastated since then and now I’m VERY nervous for my next surgery this coming Tuesday. Thank God it’s at a different hospital, with a different team! This is me, by the way. I don’t think I’m that hideous! Heavy, yes. Plain, yes. But still....

53 Replies

Oh no I am so sorry you had to hear that! I want to hope that because you were under you became conscious in the middle of their conversation.... that wasn’t about you. You take a lovely picture! You are beautiful !


Hey PackerGirl,

Looking good to me! You remind me of my beautiful aunt Dottie in Chicago.

OMG, that's awful!!!! No wonder you're nervous! I'm so sorry that happened! Did you report them? I hope so. Actually, aren't there cameras in surgery rooms? (I don't know, so I'm asking if you know). You got me wondering, though. What do doctors and nurses talk about when we're under?🤔

Have you heard about the 4-7-8 breathing technique fashionee by Dr. Andrew Weils? He has some videos on YouTube demostrating this technique if you're interested. This has become my favorite technique. Breathe in to a count of 4, hold for a count of 7, and breathe forcibly out to a count of 8.

Also, I've heard that breathing from the stomach is a calmer way to breathe because it forces us to take deep breaths. Pretend the stomach is a balloon -- inflate the balloon by breathing in and deflate it by breathing out.

Also, do you practice any kind of yoga or tai chi? I love tai chi! It is amazingly calming. My gym offers a class combining pilates, yoga and tai chi. While I like the entire class, the tai chi part is by far my favorite! YouTube has videos for that as well. What would we do without YouTube, right?😆

That is horrible. Being in the medical field you would hope they would have some type of professionalism. I'm sorry you went through that, and screw what they say. They're obviously lacking something in their life to sit there and say stuff like that about someone who they thought was unconscious. They didn't have the Kahuna's to say it to your face while you were awake.

I felt like it was horrible. I told them all I heard every word they said and how horrible they made me feel. The RNs and the Dr apologized several times. It all just felt so insincere and just made me feel worse about myself....I plan to tell the Drs all about this prior to my surgery this Tuesday so there is no repeat. I’m just SO nervous now though, very anxious and I’ll be alone because of a Covid restrictions 😢

Well good for you for letting it be known you heard them. They shouldn't have been saying any of that to begin with. And an apology doesn't make the situation better, but maybe you speaking up will teach them to not continue this behavior in the future. You might have helped someone else without even realizing it

They apologized several times to try and smooth things over.

Go above them and report. They already admitted they did it.

One of our jobs is to maintain the dignity of our patients at all times.

And p.s. you look beautiful to me. You carry yourself very well, and have some pretty amazing blue eyes!

Thank you!! That’s very sweet of you to say - I appreciate that very much! I feel hideous but I have my dads eyes and I’m very grateful for that ❤️☘️

Well you're not hideous. By any means. And I hope you can look at yourself and see that. You are beautiful!!

Thank you so much, truly it means so much. I was told recently by a friend that I don’t see what the rest of the world does. I’m wondering if that might be true? I swear on the soul of my sweet dad that when I look at myself I think, hideous and feel sick. I refuse to be photographed and try to look at myself as little as possible. I think I was really insecure but those RNs and the Dr put me over the edge...?

in reply to PackerGirl

Can you complain about the Drs and RNS ? So sorry to hear this . You are beautiful do not ever forget that.

in reply to Mia898

Thank you. You know this post and all our talk about this event is making me think I should more formally complain about their unprofessional behaviors. My therapist documented it when I told him what happened. It’s in writing that the RNs and Drs apologized. Maybe that’s what this what all for, to lead me to file a complaint? ..,

And you should make a formal complaint. They are in a field where they definitely should not be criticizing people's bodies. Especially due to the fact that the bodies they're criticizing are where their stupid paychecks come from

in reply to PackerGirl

I would complain formal . I work in health and social care and would not ever expect anyone to be like that . Duty of care do no harm where does comments like that come into do no harm they should not say them end of they should be told off.

I think ALOT of us perceive ourself differently than other people. I feel the same way about myself most days. So I try to do things that me feel better. Like putting make up on, a nice shirt, some body spray. And then the dang cookies and cream ice cream shows itself to me in my freezer, anddddd there goes my diet 😂😂😂 it's been hard but I'm learning to love myself the way I am. I hope you can do that too, because you are beautiful and screw other people's opinions. They don't know you well enough to even begin judging you like they did

They are a bunch of wankers in my opinion. A few years ago I went to the emergency service. My so called friend at the time gave me cannabis oil for pain. I had cut my toe using the lawn mower. I had a psychotic episode from the oil. It had thc in it. So I started screaming because I felt like I was going to die. I was treated like dirt because they thought I was a junkie. I could hear one of them say all sorts but couldn't answer back. I was so drugged up. Anyhow, I went back to a few days later to make a complaint but the process was very slow. You had to email someone and they were going to investigate etc. The whole experience left me very disappointed about doctors and nurses. They should be more empathetic towards patients. If they lack empathy then they are in the wrong job.

in reply to Entela15

Agreed!! I’m sorry for your experience, how awful!! I’m going to think this over...Thanks for your input.

Disgusting behaviour by medical professionals.

I would certainly consider making a formal complaint.

You are beautiful!

Did you report it?

Thank you, very much. I didn’t report it but now I’m thinking that I will...

I think you should. I'm a medical professional I am so upset they did this to you.

Thanks, I was really upset, mainly SO humiliated. It’s making me so nervous and embarrassed for my upcoming surgery on Tuesday.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Just keep telling yourself that they obviously have issues if they are doing things like that to their patients. I hope this is not a common occurrence. You are beautiful. Hold your head up high.

Best of luck with your procedure on Tuesday. Please let us know that you are ok.


This is awful and no wonder you were devastated. I have heard of this happening to others and they have made formal complaints which were taken very seriously, and resulted in changes being made. Complain officially.

For the record I think you are very attractive with lovely skin, and beautiful blue eyes. There is nothing at all wrong with your looks at all. You are in no way hideous or ugly.

I had a wake up call many years ago. I have always felt very ugly and unattractive and said as much to an attractive work colleague. She was amazed and said no way very sincerely, and we had a discussion about how women often think that and about culteral influences. Ever since then whenever I look in the mirror and shudder, I think back to what she said and it comforts me.

Hi Pretty Lady :)

The surgical team should know better than to say anything regarding a patient

who is under. You never know what level of consciousness the patient may be in.

It happened to me many years ago after an Endoscopy..I started coming to long

enough to hear the doctor mock my anxiety. In that moment of lucidness it hurt

and then I went back to sleep.

I did follow up with the doctor in charge of that GI office and got a letter back

saying that these things happen some times. A patient THINKS they heard something

while being under. It was just my imagination from the drug.

Never went to that office again.

I'd like to wish you Good Luck with your upcoming surgery on Tuesday. May you have

a better experience. :) xx

in reply to Agora1

Sending virtual hugs

Anyone with the name PackerGirl has to be a wonderful person. GO PACK GO. don’t let the bastards get you down.

Thanks!! Go Pack Go!! 💚💛💚💛

You should call that hospital and confront those people! They had no right to say the things they did. Do you want me to call? Also, you don’t look overweight to me and your eyes are gorgeous! Is it possible that you were hallucinating from the medication?

Thank you for the compliment, I have my dads eyes so I love if people notice them.

I am actually very overweight, 100 pounds so! I’m very self conscious about it, notice the picture is just my head? Yep, on purpose.

The Dr and RNs all accepted responsibility for their comments and apologized to me directly, so it happened. I wrote a scathing review on their website but no one ever called me. I’m now thinking very seriously about filing a formal complaint. I just hadn’t realized I was still so upset about it until I was scheduled for surgery this week. I’m so anxious I feel sick!!

You should absolutely file a formal complaint! The hospital would probably take disciplinary action against the offenders and maybe you could get some money from your surgery back

I’m going to look into it after I recover from my next surgery, I’ll keep you posted - it just may be a few weeks. Thank you so much for your support!! ❤️

Of course! And I really will call on your behalf, I know that it can be a daunting task

I'm sorry this happened to you.

There was a talk show radio host about a year ago saying he thought he heard some unflattering things said about him as he was going under anesthesia for a colonoscopy. There were medical people calling into the show saying that some doctors and nurses do joke about people when they are out. I don't get it. People like that suck.

I wouldn't tell you what to do but if you do file a complaint, maybe it will keep from what happened to you from happening to someone else.

You're gorgeous btw...

Very valid point about filing a complaint so this doesn’t happen to someone else. I think I’m going to do it! Hopefully it’ll also result in me feeling like I’ve gained back some control.

What an overly generous compliment, thank you. I truly wish I felt anything but hideous. Maybe in time? 😊 Thank you though nonetheless.

Oh my gosh. I am sick to my stomach reading this. We are supposed to trust those in healthcare and government and it seems that we can’t these days. So I am here to tell you that those people probably feel so awful about themselves that they had to stoop that low to make themselves feel anything except hate for themselves. I feel sorry for those people. If I was in your position, I would be reaching out to the COO AND CEO of the hospital and get this taken care of. They should lose their jobs. That is so unprofessional. Look at how they made you feel? They should be absolutely ashamed of yourself. You are beautiful. And your eyes, I wish I had your eyes !!

Keep your chin up. But like I said, I would take a stand and demand that they make a difference with how they treat their patients. That is truly sad. Remember you are beautiful.

in reply to Brooke_L

Thank you Brooke, you are very kind. I’m going to look into filing a complaint after my surgery this week. I’m so anxious, I just want to make it through this week!

in reply to PackerGirl

I totally understand the anxiety. That’s a big enough battle in itself. You’ve got this girl.. everyone here is so helpful and encouraging, it’s such a relief to go on here anonymously and just put it all out there And not having to worry about being judged. Well all be here for you!! ✌🏼💛

Unprofessional behavior by so-called professionals. They are ugly people for saying hurtful things. Words can be so damaging. No wonder you are feeling the need to complain now. Medical field is filled with so many cruel and heartless people and they lack empathy or are numbed by so much suffering around them that they seem emotionless. I have also met absolutely wonderful human beings in the medical field too over the years.

You are beautiful. Dont let anyone else's hate put you down. Have a wonderful day !

They are crazy. You are beautiful. Report them.

You are ALL so wonderful, I can’t thank you enough for your support and encouragement!! The fact that I’m still up at 5am might indicate how sick and nervous I feel about my surgery Tuesday but I did want to share this with you. I wrote the following review and posted it on their website. After my surgery and the couple weeks they said I’ll need to recuperate, I now plan to file a formal complaint. Again, thank you all for helping me with this. Hopefully regaining some power over this situation will make me feel better about myself again. ❤️


While I was treated well within the department I sought treatment, the surgical staff is an entirely different situation. While being prepped for surgery, when the RN’s and Dr. thought I couldn’t hear or process their interactions, they were making fun of my looks and making cruel comments about my weight. It was a horrible experience I will never forget. I spoke to the Dr. after the procedure who accepted responsibility for himself and the RN’s and apologized multiple times for the experience. It was documented and I verbally filed a complaint. That said, I would never go back to XXX for a procedure, never!

One additional note is that I posted this review clearly indicating horrendous infractions of the medical code of ethics yet even though management from XXX commented on every other review, they’ve not written nor called in regard to mine. Do not trust that your rights as a patient will be honored at this reprehensible hospital.

in reply to PackerGirl

When I tried to complain about a doctor, I couldn't even get a response from my GP practice. But hey, I'm still happy I made as much of a fuss as I could.

Honey you’re anything but plain, and I’m not just saying that. Your hair and features are gorgeous and your eyes are so captivating. Don’t let some losers who wouldn’t have the guts to say those words to your face get you down. They’re clearly blind, because all I see is a beautiful, strong and brave woman that’s ready to kick ass and be a bad ass boss! (excuse my language)

Girl! I would kill for your hair and those gorgeous blue eyes of yours! That wasn’t only very unprofessional of them to do but just flat out mean! Maybe you aren’t their definition of gorgeous but then again their definition of gorgeous may not be what we think to be beautiful. To me, you’re beautiful and don’t let their stupidity bring you down!

You are a beautiful woman. Anyone who cannot see this and who would find the need to express such negative statements is projecting something ugly they feel is inside themselves.

You are a beautiful lady anyone can see that I'm sorry you were treated so badly by people who are supposed to be professionals let the new hospital know you've awoke in your last operation to make sure it does not happen again I wish you all the best take care david

Hi all, thank you so very much again for your support!! I’ve reread your messages multiple times to make me feel stronger and to let it sink in that I have support here. I’m still up tonight as I’m just so anxious for my surgery Tuesday. Any suggestions for me on how to avoid a panic attack/flashbacks and the like? I have a 3 hour wait in pre-op all alone and at this point, that’s what I’m most nervous about...

I’ve found that despite your experience, most of the nurses are caring, efficient people who will work to make you as comfortable as they can.

Keeping in the moment always helps me. Talking and joking with the staff and asking them how their day is going helps break the ice. Mindfulness.

To help with panic attacks I have a long poem that I work at memorizing. To distract my brain. I take deep breaths. I, personally, use the Serenity Prayer.

I also find that the anxiety leading up to any procedure is often worse than the day of the surgery. Once the day arrives I seem to be given the strength to handle it. But I don’t get the strength beforehand. Lol. Because it hasn’t happened yet.

I don’t know if any of these ideas will help. But take it a day at a time and do what’s in front of your nose.


Hi all, just a little update! Surgery went very well Tuesday morning. The Drs and RN’s were so truly kind, supportive, warm and respectful. I spoke to them about my last experience at another local hospital and they were equally mortified and honored the anxiety I felt due to it. They held my hand, gave me extra anxiety meds, talked to me until I felt comfortable moving ahead through each presurgical step...Several medical issues were addressed during surgery and fixed, lots of stitches and pain meds for a while. It hurts a lot right now but they sent me home with pain meds and other stuff. Thank you all for the well wishes and prayers, they worked!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thanks for the update. And I’m glad your experience was a good one, albeit painful.

in reply to PackerGirl

I'm glad everything went well!

in reply to PackerGirl

Great that you had a nice experience this time.

Make a COMPLAINT! Those Ppl are dirtbags! You are beautiful! Your eyes are so big and blue, you remind me of Tinkerbell! I am a Plus-Size woman, too and I believe you can be BEAUTIFUL and Plus Size if you take care of yourself. I wear makeup (just to have fun with it!) and wear jewelry and cute clothes and I DO WHAT MAKES ME FEEL BEAUTIFUL and PLUS I know that I am BEAUTIFUL on the inside as well, which I can tell that you are, too! I am going to make a POST just for you, in a few mins, so you can se what I look like now. (My profile pic was from yrs ago LOL) I used to be skinny. But skinny does NOT equal beautiful! And if you do not have a wonderful man already, I know you will find one soon! Also, check out Rosegal for the CUTEST Plus Size clothes. I wish you well my sister and FOLLOW me!

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