Idk what to do (cont)

[Renaxo]

On top of everything else going bad in my life this past week, I had to let go of a friend because we got into a argument because I told her I wouldn’t be able to go on her birthday trip because I didn’t have no money until after her birthday.. My birthday was 3 weeks before hers and I threw a big party that I’ve been planning since May and that took all of my money and she knew that.. She didn’t decide to go on a trip for her birthday until about a week or two before her birthday which was last minute and gave me no time to plan for anything... This person was a close friend that I talked to ALL DAY, EVERYDAY and we both sat on the phone talking about the struggles we are currently going through during this pandemic so she knew my situation but decided to try and argue me down or call me a “bad friend” and make it seem like I was never there for her when I’ve always been. She went on to say how she wasn’t supporting nothing else I do and I kept trying to explain to her that it wasn’t intentional, I wanted to go but I don’t have the funds at the moment and I refuse to go on a trip with no money. So because she kept trying to argue me down and get disrespectful I told her I don’t want to be friends anymore and blocked her... I’m 21 and I’m too old to be arguing and about to fight someone I was “friends” with for 6+ years because u can’t understand that shit is happening that’s not in my control.. if the trip was planned about a month before then I could’ve saved and prepared for it. On top of that I just started a new job that I start tomorrow and the trip would’ve been Friday and I can’t take off...

I’ve been having second thoughts about my new job I’m starting, because it pays good but I have to travel 2 hours away on public transportation and my friends are telling me that they don’t think it’s a good or a smart idea, but they pay well and I am trying to move out of my mothers house because we don’t get along. I personally don’t mind traveling but it’s just making me second guess myself and wonder is it really worth it?

[Hidden]

Hi well maby you should go to the job and think it's a way of saving up I had a job which was hard to get to but I had a goal to save up for a house I save loads only had half a mortgage after saving for few years because of this job, and what's the alternative for you. I had many fall outs with my friend known since 4 over the years we are both 56 now had a few breaks in our friendship true friendship never ends x

[Blue-eyed]

I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with so much all at once. It sounds overwhelming.

At the same time, I think that part of being in an adult, mature relationship is being willing to let go or patch together issues that come up.

It’s definitely difficult but can be very rewarding and feel good.

[Renaxo in reply to Blue-eyed]

And that’s the thing. Idk what the problem is for me to try and fix it. The last time we talked we had a good conversation and he told me he’d call me that night if he could (because of the pandemic they were on lock down) but never did.. he got a cell phone in there and when I’d text he just stopped responding to me. And it hurts me because I don’t know where things went wrong.. he was stabbed I heard about a month ago and I haven’t talked to him in almost 3 months I wrote him a month ago and nothing..