How to decide for or against suicide?

[YellowTurtle]

The thoughts are becoming a larger and larger part of my life every day. I'm not sure if I should give the voices in my head what they want or try to get help. Help in the past has never actually helped me. No one has believed me before that I could do this. I have told physciatrists my plans and they didn't do anything. Never followed up or talked to me again. I had a therapist drop me as a patient. Why doens't anyone believe me that I'll do this? It hurts. I want to prove them wrong. People don't get the evil I struggle fighting against in my head every day. I push so hard to be positive and I think I am a positive person. Then I have so much pain inside that my chest actually hurts. I binge eat to numb the pain. Then I starve to feel something again and punish myself. I don't get why no one believes me. I'm not lying. And I'm finally to the point where I can do something about this and show them they were wrong. This isn't about revenge. But I just want to know why no one has taken me serious. My pain is real. I fight thoughts every day and don't think I'll ever be able to convince myself I am good enough or pretty enough or smart enough if no one else thinks it either.

[Lindsey14]

You are definitely not alone. Im going through a lot of this right now. Im sorry people have let you down, but know plenty of other professionals and people on here with similar feelings are here for you

[YellowTurtle in reply to Lindsey14]

I've had at least 4 professionals try to help me and they either leave, retire, or I move. I just want to stop re-explaining everything.

[SearchingForTheLight]

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday! You’re not alone I’ve also had terrible therapists but there are great ones out there. You’re not alone. Are you ashamed of something or repressing feelings? Maybe try a journal and write your thoughts when you wake up. I believe in you fight this don’t ever give into those voices. You’ll look back years from now and think wtf was I thinking.

[Pugglesworth]

If you are having suicidal thoughts you need to call the National Suicide Hotline if you are in the US. There is also a local number depending on where you live. You should also take yourself to the ER if you're actively planning suicide. The hospital can get you the help you need.

You are not alone in your pain. I experience anxiety/depression as pain: nausea, chest pain, headaches, dizziness, nerve pain, muscle aches. This is simply the bodies over-sensitized reaction to the fight or flight response. When I get to this point I need to relax, allow the pain to be there and continue on with my life. Eventually, my nerves and muscles calm down; however, this takes time. It can take weeks for my body to return to homeostasis (balance).

Thoughts are just like emotions: they come and go. We are the ones that give them importance. It helps me to say 'I notice I'm having the thought that ...' This separates me from my thoughts. I also repeat the thought as a cartoon character or to some music like 'Happy Birthday to Me'. These are all part of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). You are not your thoughts. If you were, you could not observe them.

Therapy is ten-percent therapist and ninety-percent you. You need to do the work.

Call the hotline and get the help you need. We're not therapists here.

Your body and mind will thank you.

[Elliott_Woods in reply to Pugglesworth]

I love ze name 😃 ver cute.

[Hidden]

I am just like you. I wish I could help you. I suffer terrible guilt over something I did and every day is a fight to stay alive...

[Elliott_Woods]

Well, definitely a no to this 💚 look, you don't need to prove anything to anyone! You have the power and control to fight this madness that you are dealing with, although it doesn't feel like it. Think of all the amazing things that life has to offer, and feed on it! Let that be what you are in control of... Make your life better; not worse. You can do this! You doubt yourself and get deeper and deeper into this hole and it seems you feel like there is no way out, but there is! Because there is light shining down and there are rocks to climb up and out of that pit. Try to keep focus on the good instead of the bad. You are worth it darlin, so do not let nothin get in the way of you trying to get better and succeeding in life, okay? I fully believe in you... and im a stranger, so let this tell you that if a random person believes in you... You should too 😉✌💚

Kick depressions butt! Seriously.

Heck with it. You can get through this and strive and do wonderful things?

Do you draw, write, create, or anything? Have hobbies? If you do, im sure you rock at whatever ya do. If you don't do anything, then start 😊 you will be surprised what you are capable of.

Here for you 👌 I believe in YOU. Ok? Heh. Alright then. Sending you a humongous hug! (Im not a creep) just a woman who wants others to live strong 💪✌🌻

[Dolphin14]

Don't rely on the outside world to make you feel anything. Dig deep inside you for the answers and the solutions. Tell yourself you are beautiful, smart and good.

We have to believe in ourselves. It doesn't happen overnight. Journal about yourself. Write one thing you've done everyday that made you feel good about yourself. It may be simple... my hair looks great today. It may be more than that... I helped someone with something and it made me feel good.

If your team has moved or retired they didn't abandon you. If you want to get well you tell that story 500 times if you have to. It's draining for sure. But, therapy is lots of hard work. It doesn't end after a session. There is a lot of work to do on our own time.

Search for peace. You will find it. You have the strength to overcome this. You can do it. ❤️

[Hidden]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Suicide is a permanent fix to a temporary situation. You'll hurt many people who love you and dearly them for life. If you think people don't love you or you haven't touched someone in some way you're absolutely wrong. You would be sorely missed. Thoughts are something every human has but plans are taking it a very scary step further. You've touched my life already.

Please talk to someone your Therapist or a doctor and please don't give in to those voices telling you it's ok because it's not. Please understand, you're worth it ..life totally sucks sometimes and there are however some beautiful joys. Start off with picking one thing that brings you joy.. niece, nephew, sibling, sunshine, sunset, ocean etc... please get help. Things change ie, you're future day to day, let everyday be an adventure.

Hugs x 🙏⚓🌷