I have no idea how to make friends. - Anxiety and Depre...

Anxiety and Depression Support

69,040 members67,086 posts

I have no idea how to make friends.

Froz profile image

I watch people everywhere and yeah I know we all have it rough individually. I just, I never had someone. Someone who would be there for me, someone who I can proudly call family. I have always been so alone and quite frankly its so tiring having to defend yourself every single day. I noticed now that I had no one to turn to that I can ask for a hug when I need to or just to talk. People around me all feel so fake. I was remembered back in highschool as that one guy that did poorly and did nothing to stand out and damn that I wish I could just delete from my memory. I have no one in my life right now and I have no idea how to talk to anyone. Everytime I do try to talk I don't know how to keep a conversation, I'm so bleak and boring. I have no talents to talk about and I have no hobbies either. I feel so lost by myself out here no matter what I do. I have so many more thoughts that I want to write but I don't want to ramble too much like usual. I'm just so frustrated at myself for being so incompetent.

15 Replies

Hugs. I am in the same boat. I had a couple of friends but they started doing weird shit I didn't want to be a part of it. One started using meth and was convinced people lived in her walls and was coming out at night to mess with her. I tried to confront her lovingly but it went south pretty quick as she denied everything.

Recently, I've made a couple of new friends but I don't like having them come to my house because it's so messy. I do try but it's so freaking hard. I haven't been entirely interested in making friends but circumstance, I guess, helped in my case and for some reason they seem to like me. Of course I struggle with major depression, so I hate going out. It is a struggle to meet activities of daily living.

I wish I could tell you something profound that'd change your outlook. All I can say is you're not as alone as you feel. I relate so strongly to what you posted as if I'd written it myself and wanted to thank you for sharing. I think you would probably be a great friend to many people, probably more than you might realize.

I recently tried putting myself out there and ended up sort of wishing I hadn't. I let someone in and they basically criticized me for my house being dirty even though I hadn't really invited them over. I told them my house was a messy mess and said they would come over another time. But they insisted. They can take it or leave it in regards to who I am. I am too tired to be anyone else anymore. The people that have wanted to be my friend I've tried explaining that I struggle with my mental health. I've given up hope of truly being well for any length of time to be productive or talented in something in life. I'm failing everyone I love that I sort of wished I was more alone so I wouldn't be some burden they have to bear.

Froz profile image
Froz in reply to candont

thanks for sharing that... I'm sorry I'm really just a lose for words at everything now. just know that I appreciate what you told me


this sounds a lot like what one of my close friends is going through

I don't know how much I can help you, and I don't have a lot of time rn because i gtg for a class soon but I understand feeling bland so so so much.

I'm more the friend who listens, though, instead of talks. So many people need a listener.

But talking is important too.

I recommend trying to find something that interests you. Dance, music, play an instrument. Art. Learn a language. Find a fandom, or a lot of fandoms. Find something you are good at because I promise you, there is something. Just keep trying things out till you find it, and try to have fun with learning. If it's not working out, go try something else.

But if you want to make friends, that'll be the first step, build yourself a little. It's hard at first, but you're not as boring as you think you are ;p

You've just got to find something and learn how to word things

Anyhow i gtg but if there's a way to message me her or something you're welcome to because I do have more thoughts that might help you out but ye good luck and have a lovely day/evening <3

I feel the exact same way, felt that way all my life. I watch people too, family as well..and most of the time it’s like I’m invisible. I had someone I was married to for 30 years and he stopped loving me..he divorced me, that was last August, I’m still trying to cope with that. I’m sorry you have that memory from someone in high school, that hurts. Hugs to you and please know that here you are NOT alone.

Froz profile image
Froz in reply to SA192461

Thank you for sharing your story too. I hope it gets bettet soon for the both of us.

SA192461 profile image
SA192461 in reply to Froz

You’re welcome and Thank you for sharing your story as well..you sometimes wonder if there’s someone else out there going through what you are and when you find someone who is, it is sad & comforting at the same time. But, it also makes you feel a little less alone.

Froz profile image
Froz in reply to SA192461

Yes I agree but being less alone feels so much better than nothing at all

I believe that you are wonderful and beautiful, just as you are, and if anyone wants you to be different from who you are, that's their own problem! You might not agree, but that's my opinion. Have you thought about joining a group? Like maybe a book club or a religious organization or a volunteer organization? Sometimes, when I have been lonely, I find it helps to join some kind of group. Any initial thoughts on that?

Froz profile image
Froz in reply to mvillarreal

I tried before. I applied to all of the volunteer mental health groups in my country and area. Sadly there's not a lot so I sent all of them a form that I wanted to join. Sadly non of them replied back. Looking at it now, that was very painful for me

mvillarreal profile image
mvillarreal in reply to Froz

Have you tried one not related to mental health? Maybe just something where you can be with others to get your mind off of stuff?

Froz profile image
Froz in reply to mvillarreal

I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try looking for some. Thanks for the advice

Hi making friends was one thing I missed out on in my childhood and early adulthood as I had never learned how to. The good news is you can teach yourself by watching how others interact and behave and copy them. It did take me quite a while but did end up making friends. Now I wouldn't be without them. If I can learn so can you. x

Good morning...i also deal with alot of what you shared..ive been diagnosed with recurrent severe episode of major depression w/ mood-congruent psychotic symptom..acute..Anxiety Anxiety...my sister passed away December 26 2017...after her fight with cancer...to watch how that monster ate her down from 300lbs. To 109lbs. Seemed in a blink of an eye I knew as i had been there to watch it and couldnt do anything to stop it her family was in denial...she was all i had...she helped me with any important issue as to government filing as i have fear of people...now i been on my meds. I have documents i found as i was becoming stable...im shaking and people around me doesnt help me because they are in denial...i do talk to the lord...to plz come calling cause i dont wanna be here anymore i want to go with my sister Myrna

I am sorry you are going through this. It is sometimes very difficult to make friends. I noticed you said you do not have any hobbies, have you tried anything? Like painting or drawing or something like that? Having a hobby is such a great way to get plugged in and meet new people. I hope everything gets better.

Sometimes having some hints ready helps me to talk to people.

Like mutual friends and travel for conversation.

If you have any aquainces in common it helps. If not just someone in the news.

Travel can be somewhere you have been or lived, or just the traffic on the trip where you are seeing the other person.

Being a good listener and asking questions is great. People including me love to talk about themselves. Just pay attention to what they say, as well as anything you see like clothing or accessories or anything in the surroundings

Just remember the phrase mutual friends, travel, and them.

Just a thought. Hope it helps sometime.


You may also like...