PTSD from abuse by birth family

My daughter yesterday who is 46, somehow in a conversation, told me she didn’t care what my abuse birth family did to me

[Hidden]

Others sometimes do not grasp the difficulties that can occur from childhood abuse.

I myself have been fighting it for 48 years.

I will need Therapy for the rest of my life on and off I think.

Hope you are able to share your memories with a Therapist. Be kind to yourself and release the inner demons in a secure place.

x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yes, I have aPTSD therapist, phycatrics , I’ve been though every therapy that you could possibly do, but when your daughter goes by your abusers, and says she doesn’t cares, you feel abused again. I am a good mother to her. I don’t know what happened to the wonderful daughter , I used to have.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I understand you. It so hurts doesn’t it, especially from your daughter. I have been where you are.

I hold on to the fact that:

It did happen - whereby you went through a great deal of suffering due to the hands of your Mother who should of loved and protected you.

It caused you a great deal of pain over the years and still does.

Hold on to the fact of how strong you have had to be over the years. Your daughter has a very strong, caring and loving Mother.

Hopefully one day she will realise this and give you the support you so deserve.

Look after yourself

💞🦋

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for caring. But it’s been 15 years, I don’t think she’s going to change. She never saw me be selfish, not even to my abusive mother. You’d think the way you showed your kids the way you were, they would follow in your footsteps, but that’s only a dream for most of us.❤️

[Iammesues in reply to Hidden]

As I have said, you seem to have a strength that I and others can learn from. So much mistreatment, yet you persevere. You get up every day and seek something beautiful. What words do you have for others to build strength?

[Hidden in reply to Iammesues]

Well I can tell you this, I never wanted to die, or think of killing myself though everything I’ve been though, and I knew I didn’t do anything wrong to any of the people in my life, no matter what has been done to me. I was always there for them, even though they weren’t there for me. I know I am a good person, and didn’t deserve any of this. But I struggled to push myself, and get up to help myself. I pushed myself to find therapy , every single one they had to go though. I have so many things in my home to help myself, mediation tapes, yoga tapes, an app called Calm, I have colored over 2 thousand picture, my Preamat, which is like acupuncture . I’m an Older women now, but I not embarrassed to want to have someone, or something to hold me. I have this big stuffed animal, I bought for my grandchildren when they come here. I sleep with it holding it tight, it makes you feel like it’s holding you too. The biggest thing is to always know in your heart someone loves, cares about you, and that for me is my two grandchildren. They are the lights of my life. I want to be here for them, as long as I can. They show me so much love to me everyday. I love them more then anything in this world .I also know I deserve to live, and have a good life. I learned to take care myself. I’m still suffering though all the things I been though, but I keep pushing, and I’ll still keep pushing myself until the day comes, that I have no control when I live, or die. Find something in your life that makes you happy, or someone you knows that’s loves you, as much as you love them. That will keep you pushing, living. Find joy, happiness where ever you can, it’s out there, you’ll find it, just keep looking, pushing!❤️

[Iammesues in reply to Hidden]

Eloquently written. Words I will read every morning and night.

[Hidden in reply to Iammesues]

❤️❤️❤️, Thank you!

[Iammesues in reply to Hidden]

I have finally found someone who inspires me to not give up hope. You. To take the love of one person and make it everything. My love of my daughter needs to carry me thru each day.

[Hidden in reply to Iammesues]

My grandchildren I take the love of them to get me though the day. Thank you. Much ❤️

[Iammesues in reply to Hidden]

It’s all just so hard

[Hidden in reply to Iammesues]

I don’t know if I should go off here, today someone got mad at because the first post was about therapist. I told how I felt about the ones I’ve seen. People were saying if they really thought they cared about you. My experience is that really don’t, because that’s the way I feel. Someone got mad at me, and kept writing I was very wrong. Then they won’t stop. I stopped reading them, but they were still coming. I fell asleep because of nightmares during the night. I just got up from another one. When someone treatS me like I was treated all my life, the nightmares start up again at anytime. Everyone else on here has been truly nice to me.❤️

[Iammesues in reply to Hidden]

Can you block them?

[Iammesues in reply to Hidden]

Don’t be scared off by those who lack clarity. You and I know better

[Hidden in reply to Iammesues]

I know, but I get hurt! People like that remind me of my mother!❤️

[Blackdog1 in reply to Hidden]

I understand that feeling and I have found myself "triggered" by people who remind me of a bullying sibling.

Personally, I'm trying to make myself more assertive (though its been slow and difficult to change) so when I come up against the same type of person (and there will ALWAYS be those type of people ), I respond in a way I can feel comfortable with.

This has been key to me not falling into a depression-

You see, since childhood, I would withdraw in shame for not responding to bullying out of fear. I took this pattern and applied to many stressful situations and in turn, felt resigned, helpless and depressed.

Learning to be assertive, to speak up, is breaking the depression chain for me.

(Kind of a long reply oops! )

[Hidden in reply to Blackdog1]

Thank you for the advice❤️

[Iammesues in reply to Hidden]

There will always be people like this. The secret is knowing they are not thinking straight or have learning challenges

[Hidden in reply to Iammesues]

I don’t know, as you know I was abused by my mother, not only phYsically, but mentally. When other people do that to me, it triggers what she did to me. Hope your doing ok❤️

[Hidden in reply to Iammesues]

I’m sorry I have to leave this site, this has made more sick. I’m sorry I won’t be here for you anymore, but I will think of you, and the wonderful person you were to me. My best to you, and your daughter, take care yourself. Much love❤️

[Iammesues in reply to Hidden]

All the best to you too. Your guidance for me and your eloquent post are forever useful. Please be safe and continue to care for yourself

[Hidden in reply to Iammesues]

I’ll miss you❤️