I Can’t Control My Thoughts

[HelpWanted92]

I can’t control my thoughts. Or at least I feel like I can’t.

When I hear something of feel something negative my mind just obsesses over it. It fades after a while I guess, if I’m distracted or just start to think of something else but what does that say about me?

Is that how it always is with anxiety?

Previous to now I’ve had anxiety for about three years but only lately do I have constant obsessive thoughts. Especially on something negative.

For example I read something the other day about my DRUID (I guess this has something to do with astronomy) saying that people like me usually make themselves sick, and that they are fragile and have a tormented soul and all day and all night I wonder if that really is me, or how my life is going to be.

Then I start to feel like I’m never going to come out of it. But like i said it eventually goes away and then maybe it comes back, maybe it doesn’t.

It’s kind of hard to explain.

Any thoughts on this?

[Fortal]

That’s similar to what I feel. You’re trying to figure yourself out. I just want to understand what’s going on, like it is crucial to know why I feel this way before moving on with my life.. I came to the point to think I could have some level of autism (I don’t). I just think if I’d know I’d cope with it better.. I feel like I don’t fit anywhere and I have to know why so I can move on. Maybe we will never know what it is and our efforts to find out are just holding us back... Or maybe we it will all make sense someday, but won’t make a difference... or maybe it will make a difference? I don’t want to live my life thinking of why things are not the way I wish they were but can’t find a healthy solution to get away from my thoughts and analysis..

Anyway.. trying to help others with whatever problems they have is a way to get out of my own mind.

[Rpan]

Yes this is anxiety, it’s a feeling that comes with uncertainty. It’s not rational so we think that we can think our way out of it, which is never going to happen. The issues is out thinking, we become afraid of what we think. It’s all fear based. I say all this because this is what I feel, it’s not say that this is true for everyone. What I can’t do is fight it. When I’m struggling it’s because I’m not accepting that this faulty processing is acting up again..there will be times of pain and times of happiness.

[HelpWanted92 in reply to Rpan]

Do you have any coping skills or ways to deter your thoughts?

[Beevee in reply to HelpWanted92]

You can’t stop intrusive thoughts (any thought) coming. You know, those thoughts which are grossly exaggerated by your anxious state. Without anxiety being present, those thoughts just wouldnt have the same impact that make you sit up and take notice and would probably pass through your consciousness without so much as a second thought! Anxiety gives thoughts a hugely false importance and easy to see why anxiety sufferers then spend all their time trying to figure them out, creating more anxiety.

I’ve posted lots of information on here about those negative thoughts and how to overcome them. Not by trying to stop them coming (you can’t) or trying to reason with them. They will disappear if you let them come, observe them coming and then doing absolutely nothing about them. By adopting a passive approach ( turning all those “what ifs?” Into “So what?!”) their sting is drawn and the negative thought loses its power and gradually fades away. The principle of acceptance, instead of fighting, avoiding or doing anything to not feel anxious is the way to make those thoughts go. Fighting, avoiding, trying to push them away is counter productive. Anxious thoughts and feelings are just built up negative energy that needs to be released but anxiety sufferers stop that energy from being released because they will do anything to not feel it. You cannot release something that you are not prepared to feel. The more you let yourself feel anxious and not try to do anything to think or feel differently, the more you recover.

[HelpWanted92 in reply to Beevee]

Thank you for that! I just have SUCH a hard time just letting my negative thoughts pass. I know I am giving them power but I just can’t help it. I’m going to start trying to just let them go instead of fight them but your right I would do anything for me not to feel them.

[SoberDrunk1]

If you have time read the book "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle and there is a segment "Voice in the head", "Carrying the Past" and few other segments (Ego related) and you get a grasp of his work. And then read the book top to bottom. You get the idea how we get identified with our mind and there are great tips on how to become the observer instead of being sucked into the drama between the 2 ears.

[Beevee]

"Observe instead of being sucked into the drama between the 2 ears."

That line wins the internet for me today. Brilliant!

Thoughts don't define who you are unless you choose to believe them.