The Buddy System

[Chuupachuu]

I'm fed up with the way my life is going. REALLY FED UP. I used to be a very active and productive person. I want that back. Accountability is what I am missing.

I'm 33 year old married women with no children. I have dogs that I love and need to better care of. Other than that, my days are wide open. I should be able to get a lot done during the day. There is a lot around my house that I need to do and I need to take better care of myself. I don't have any friends or anyone to turn to for support. I'm trying to find a group of people or maybe just one other person who is in the same position. The buddy system works so much better. Someone who understands about depression/anxiety or health problems. I am such an open and understanding person. Non-judgmental. But I'm looking to establish a friendship with someone who wants to make improvements to their own life. Someone I can talk to on the phone each day for a few minutes at a certain time. Maybe we email each other about our goals and our progress.

I did this years ago with a person who later become my best friend, ( sadly we lost tough for a year and during that time she committed suicide- 6 years ago.) and it worked REALLY well. I went back through some of my e-mails to remind myself of what worked well for us.

I would like to find a support buddy. I'm very knowledgeable regarding human psychology and behaviors and I've had very good success in the past. But I feel very awkward trying to find a buddy or friend online for this, but I know how great it worked for me before.

We have all read a bunch of self help books. But I most of us read them and think "those are great ideas" it makes so much sense and we feel motivated reading them... and then....and then... nothing... most have great information and actually WOULD improve our lives. But what we need is the author sitting there with us to show us. To MAKE us actually implement these things into our lives. Asking us every day what we accomplished.

Example:

Something that works very well for loosing weight/changing eating habits

There is a difference in getting good advice from a book, (like for those of us want to loose weight or change our eating habits ) "keep a food journal for accountability". , and having someone call and ASK you every day what you ate that day. Each and every day until you change your habits and don't need that anymore. Regardless if you "mess up" and have a bad day and eat bad and say you are going to "start tomorrow" or you eat well that day, you are STILL getting that phone call at 4pm every day and are going to have to report what you ate. Every day. So maybe you didn't do a great job and you only wrote down what you ate for breakfast that day and that was it. Or didn't record anything at all because it was too much work. That's okay. I will tell you that it is okay. Then you just remember off the top of your head what you ate and tell me. What you will notice is that even on a "bad day", you will start to cut back because you know that you are going to have to reveal what you are eating to the other person. So if you start to eat that whole bag of chocolate you might only eat half of it and then stop. You will subconsciously cut back and start adjusting your behavior even without trying. Then on days that you do try and eat very well you will be able to feel proud and the other person can praise you for your efforts. I like positive reinforcement. And they say that you should surround yourself with people that you want to be like and admire.

How often and when we would communicate would depend on what worked for us and what our goals were. And we can have different goals and still support each other.

Is there anyone who might be interested in something like this?

[Hidden]

How about trying to talk to your husband and sharing responsibilities?

[DanaG214]

I’m sending you a private message...