Depression can come from so MANY variables...it's a true guessing game for each individual patient to find the right combination of therapies that work best for their chemistry and personal interests, too.
The birthplace of depression in each one of us is different, multifaceted and profound. DNA, trauma, physical health, environment, upbringing, conditioning, addiction... it takes a lifetime of experience to find the bottom of the barrel. It took me 47 years and a crap ton of health issues and trauma to lose my will to live. Difference now is that I finally have a semblance of self awareness and purpose. I'm learning to set boundaries for myself and others. I don't want to be controlled BY my impulses and emotions, I'm learning to respond TO them, instead. Small shift in perspective, big shift in quality of mental health.
What motivates me is completely different for every other person. That's the challenge and beauty of healing. I absolutely had to forge my own path. Following someone else's journey did not liberate me as I thought it would. I thought I could ride the coat-tails of a guru or monk or Buddhist teacher to find enlightenment just as they had...nope, didn't work. I am definitely inspired and motivated by other's successes and insight every single day, but the honest hard reality is that my growth only comes from within and it takes longer than I'd expected!
Right now, everyone is walking their own path that lead us to HU. This forum has brought us together from all over the world. All our collective paths have converged and are kinda running parallel to each other during this brief moment in time. Eventually we'll go our separate ways and our paths will spider outward across the globe...but we'll carry with us the knowledge and, hopefully wisdom, that being here for our mental health has afforded us. Hopefully we'll all be stronger and more resilient than before we met and can inspire others like us to follow their own paths
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LifeIsThePitts
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I love it! I’m not sure what my path is completely but it has nature involved and listening to my body and inner wisdom, healing and reminders of my strengths and helping others.
Healing ourselves through helping other's is a very REAL healing process. My path is jagged and winding and bumpy with cliffs and roadblocks...but that's what makes the journey meaningful and worthwhile!
I've been trying not to put anything out into the universe that I don't want boomerang-ing 🪃 back to me. I believe in the whole "you reap what you sow" scripture although I'm not religious WHAT SO EVER.
My favorite parable is the Good Wolf 🐺 Bad Wolf
A grandmother is talking to her granddaughter. She says inside everyone is a good wolf and a bad wolf fighting for dominance. The good one represents love, peace, empathy and happiness. The bad one represents hate, anger, revenge and sadness. The granddaughter asks, so which wolf wins? The grandmother says...
So many variables..I found a holistic doctor a few months ago whose thought my anxiety, depression could be from thyroid, mold, gut microbiome, tumor on my adrenals, heavy metals like mercury fillings, allergies, lymedisease. Still not any closer to finding out which one. I have had an abundance of trauma.
Youre right, we each have to find what works for us. Alot of coping skills we do have in common along with profound respect for what others are going through.
Hopefully you're finding answers by process of elimination. It's a messy excavation of emotional traumas and buried pain. But once I learned to love myself exactly how I am and not for who i want to be... things started getting a lot easier.
Microbiome research is fascinating information. I try to eat to support mine. Kombucha, sauerkraut, probiotic cottage cheese and Greek yogurt, LOTS of fruit and veggies, oatmeal 4-5 times a week. Just never give up trying new things. That's the key.
I'm doing well thanks for asking, I had a followup appointment today with the psychotherapist from the TMS clinic just checking to see how I am doing. I feel good overall mood and energy wise and feel like i'm firing on all cylinders and actually better than ever. I have little to no anxiety and have a much greater ability to be in and enjoy the present moment. My brain doesn't get stuck ruminating nearly as much and i feel a greater peace with my past. I feel better and more stable and secure now after doing the TMS than I did before it and when I wasn't having my testosterone/thyroid issues. I'm hoping this just continues and grateful I did the TMS and got my physical aspects all sorted and that I have done as much emotional/healing work as I have done and I am able to enjoy life.
Hope you are doing ok and am getting the physical help you need.
Awesome, insightful and well written post. It was a reminder and reinforcement to me. Thanks so much for taking the time to write this. It is something I needed to read.
Thanks for your kindness and encouragement ❤️🙏 we All need a little reminder from time to time. Reinforcement is the catalyst for us to keep moving forward.
Well written post --thank you. I'm still a work in progress as the saying goes. Too much negative thinking most of my life (YEARS), & can't seem to change the "negative default!" Years of therapy, CBT, Exposure T., meds., books, "tools," yada yada have helped; but, the Damn "default," thinking ---maybe, I should just let it be when it be's so to speak! Should say, not always negative; but, is my MO! Especially when Stresses of life -- Anyway, glad you found ways to heal, and thanks, too, for helpful post.
Me too. Still do. A steaming locomotive 🚂 doesn't stop on a dime. There's lots of momentum behind our negative conditioning. However long ago we recognized the reality of our habituation isn't relevant. Just knowing that meaningful change doesn't happen overnight or in a linear fashion, giving ourselves the grace and room to grow, is more than most people ever get the privilege of understanding about themselves. So ...YAY Us 🙌😁 We're doing the work and trying to help others along the way. Sounds pretty honorable to me 😉🍄 have a restful evening✌️
thanks for your words which definitely resonate with me! I, do, feel like a "runaway train," at times! But, like you I do recognize what All the negativity (neg. thots.) have done, and are doing to me. No, no, meaningful change does not happen overnight, for sure! It's a long, long, long struggle. And, I know that I have made progress (sometimes forget that), and the Wham life happenings (so many losses for me, and moves, and illness, etc. ) can sweep one right back. But, slowly have to "crawl" back. Lost my precious Sig. Other last Nov. & that "knocked me down," and still a major struggle. Have to move to a new state -far away from friends. Got myself All full of more negative thots., and my therapist did help me & I did some self-talk --negative thots. started to wobble like those "wee wobbles," but at least they didn't fall (hope they don't), and trying to set them to stand up! Just keeping on, keeping on!
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Anxiety & depression 
Living with anxiety & depression
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It's the only way to put me back together. But can I let go of the guilt?
