Anyone feel the same?: Not hating or... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Anyone feel the same?

Benny3221 profile image
21 Replies

Not hating or trying to spread negativity but I just want to speak the truth. Anyways let’s get started shall we. You ever wonder why so many people go to church and preach about god, but never display those teachings genuinely in action? Could it be that the reason behind this is because it makes us look good in front of others and we feel good about ourselves so we do it? I also notice that us as a human species tend to ignore others who are down and out, but when it comes to us we would like to be saved also.

Why do we blame others and judge them harshly without really giving them a chance to showcase their true inner beauty? It’s only when that person falls sick or is buried 6 feet deep then that’s when we want to love that person. I hate the fact that when we do care about each other it’s often too late the person who you want to make amends to or love won’t be able to receive that nor hear your apologies because he/she’s dead.

Another huge problem I see in us is that since each and everyone of us has a different view on life in general we’ll always be in conflict with one another. Diffrent religions, culture, background, opinions, languages, skin color, and looks causes us to segregate each other through our differences. Usually we start fights if anyone disagrees with us because of our ego and pride. You can’t even sit down with the other party member and have a civilized argument like a normal human being without being lashed at anymore.

Why do we preach kindness, respect, love, and equality but have zero ounce of evidence to prove it? If indeed we do really love each other as we have always preached about why are there so many suicides every year? Why are the “different” ones shunned and abandoned? Why does a music video have millions of views and childrens being bombed in Syria only have a few thousand. Why do so many adults, teens, and kids as young as 12 or 13 seek treatment from doctors with tons of different pills because they are depressed? I can tell you from personal experiences that one does not choose to feel Deppressed or down because that’s just absurd. It make no sense in trying to pretend to be sad because we’d rather be upbeat and having fun.

Another thing that really bothers me is when someone says “it’s survival of the fittest”! Really? The reason I mentioned this one is because I see it time and time again. Those that are obese, unattractive, unintelligent, or mentally ill are almost always seen as defective or unhealthy, but that can’t be further from the truth. Most of those people that are put in those categories are some of the most brightest, kindest, and healthiest people you’ll meet. How many of you have judged someone as incompetent or unhealthy only to realize that when you got to know them they are actually very intelligent and healthy mentally ?

What’s unhealthy in reality is not so much the thing I listed above but more so it’s called mistreating others and stress. Hate and discrimination causes Stress and stress will kill you faster then cigarettes and alcohol. A combination of those deadly mixtures and it becomes lethal. I believe if we just treat each other kindly that is healthy enough instead of bashing others for any differences, but it’s hard because human beings are very critical and judgmental.

There’s so many things that are wrong with human beings. We are greedy, selfish, lustful, ungrateful, sinful, judgmental, hypocrites, evil, cruel, and most importantly we are masters at being chameleons. We try so hard to portray ourselves as innocent child’s of god, but underneath that silk we are nasty deceiving lairs. Now I know that the world is not all evil and there’re kind people out there but the mass majority we’ve encountered are nothing but a talent show.

Do note that I’m not in anyway trying to paint myself as a victim or a saint because I know without a shadow of doubt that I aint all that good either I’m just speaking the truth that’s all. Some last notes I will make before I cut this short because I can be extremely wordy :/

So I’ve been studying my mental illnesses and others and notice that if you or anyone who has suffer severe trauma from any unfortunate event it will most like be passed on from generations to generation. Wars caused depression, bullying causes depression, basically anything having to do with violence and neglect can cause a whole host of mental and physical health problems later on in the long run, but you already know lol. If we really want to treat this suicide problem and these terrible diseases we must start with kindness and love “genuinely”. Some of us are deep in pit and maybe we won’t be able to fully recover, but we can send a message and stop the damage from spreading any further. Most of our sufferings is done to each other anyways.

If we can’t do that then swallowing pills, exercising, positive thinking, and diet won’t do you any good because the root problems are much deeper then that! Take care.

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Benny3221 profile image
Benny3221
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21 Replies
fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

I agree with allot of what you have said...but you sound so angry Benny, and that's okay, you can be angry..just pick your battles so your not angry all the time, that's hard on the body....many are mad at the world....but we take what we need and leave the rest. The only thing we can change is how we view things. I can choose to blame the world for my unhappiness....or take charge of gaining my happiness through my own actions. Nobody can make you feel less than unless you let them.

Benny3221 profile image
Benny3221 in reply to fauxartist

Angry? I believe your wrong on that part. Sad and depressed? Yea. Look I understand that how you think can also influence how you feel, but if all your life you’ve been mistreated how can you stay positive let alone grateful? I was always a carefree and easy going guy, but what happen to me cannot be erased and I can’t just forget about it and pretend like nothing happened either. You say you get what you take right?but tell me if that was true why am I being shunned or mistreated for looking diffrent even though I continue to be a good person? How can we accept ourselves when majority of people don’t want to be near us in the first place? When I didn’t develop these mental disorders from being bullied and mistreated I was a very vibrant kid and I treated others with respect not because I expected anything in return, but because that was who I was. I still treat people with kindness and generosity despite being alone 90% of the time and the discrimination I face daily. I’m stating the truths and if you think I’m angry or mad at the world you’re seriously wrong. You can say all you want about being positive and having a positive outlook in life but if people ostracize you like how they do it to me positive thinking won’t do you any good because the feedback you get is opposite. I don’t want to make this too long so I’m just going to ask you this. How can I love myself when I’m alone most of the time, how can I try to stay positive when no one cares to accept my differences even when I accept them myself? How can I just turn off my ptsd, ocd, anxiety, clinical depression, and sadness when the trauma I went through caused me this in the first place? Don’t blame others? I guess I chose to feel like this because of how I look at life, but then again like I told you I’ve always been an easy going and kind person. Maybe the problem is not me, but others.

in reply to Benny3221

That is the problem we do stay alone far too much. You sound like you need a change in your life? I know I certainly do

Benny3221 profile image
Benny3221 in reply to

I really do:) I need a miracle. Honestly it’s not my problem to be very frank with you. There’s nothing wrong with my personality nor my attitude. also not because people hold something personal against me it’s really because people find me repulsive to look at. It’s hard to change if people don’t accept you. That saying people say all the time and I quote “ if you can’t accept yourself no one will” is total utter bull crap. Lol......I have embraced and accepted that I’m “diffrent” but I’m still ostracized:/ I need plastic surgery ASAP.

in reply to Benny3221

I'm wondering why do you feel so unattractive that you need plastic surgery? I completely understand if you don't wish to tell me

Benny3221 profile image
Benny3221 in reply to

I have large lips and have been taunted and bullied bad for it. I got depressed and closed myself off from the world because I was confused and scared. That led me not to take care of myself and I lost my physical health. I never knew that such a little thing like that would end up getting me harrassed and ostracized. Please trust me that I’m not making things up just to get attention or have people feel sorry for me because I know others who are in much worst places. I’m also a mouth breather which led to people treating me like I’m dumb:/ I need surgery it’s my last option cause I’ve tried literally everything. I’m tired of hearing “we have to embrace ourselves” that’s not true I’ve done that and am still alone.

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Benny3221

You have suffered terribly Benny....and bullies are the scourge of the world, sure they probably need help too, but it doesn't matter when your on the receiving end of being bullied.....I'm so sorry you had to put up with that. I've been bullied..I know the pain...I didn't want to get out of bed, or go to school, I lived in fear everyday of my life. I was so ashamed of myself, felt like crap everyday....because I believed it, I couldn't escape it.... Many, many stories here about this ....lots of us have endured this.....your pain is very valid, understood, and I empathise with you.

Have you been through any therapy to work on the trauma of this happening to you..... it could help you get your life back, take your power back.... and if after some time working through this stuff.... if you still want to pursue plastic surgery, then you could look into it....there is nothing wrong with that. I'm glad your here sharing about it.

Benny3221 profile image
Benny3221 in reply to fauxartist

Hey thanks for trying to encourage and lead me to a better road. It’s pretty cool and awesome that you’re the only one to support me on my decision about surgery:) everyone else says no, you are beautiful the way you are, don’t change for anyone, and etc.... i believe it will make my life better.

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Benny3221

yes.... if someone felt they would be happier with getting their droopy eyelids lifted....then why would anyone not support them...your situation will be life changing for the better.... and it's easy to say your beautiful the way you are when they haven't walked in your shoes and been bullied. I do support you whole heartedly.

Benny3221 profile image
Benny3221 in reply to fauxartist

Thanks you are right! It’s not like I didn’t try either. I went pretty much my whole life embracing and accepting myself the way I am, but sadly it didn’t work out the way I imagine it to be. Besides it’s only a few minor changes not a complete makeover.

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Benny3221

It takes what it takes... if you were addicted to plastic surgery and were posting about procedure number 103....well then someone may say something to encourage therapy, without judgement.... you will be happy...and that's the end game.... it's gonna take longer in therapy to get over a life time of the bulling and self esteem issues... so this by no means is a quick fix... but it certainly is a good start for you.

Benny3221 profile image
Benny3221 in reply to fauxartist

Yes I agree it’s a long road to recovery if I do make it as things are looking bleak, but hopefully I’ll be ok thanks for everything take care!

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Benny3221

Hey Benny....I'm with you....not against you.... and yes...I grew up abused sexually, physically and mentally.... but I am more interested about you .... what has happened in your life, who has hurt you other than society in general.... I don't disagree with you, social stigma, ignorance and intolerance is what has us all gathering here to freely and safely talk....We are here as a support...we are not the enemy....we are here to listen. I don't judge anyone, I've had it all my life.... I do care Benny.... and your anonymous, I don't care what you look like, or what religion or no religion you are, none of that matters....only how your feeling.... I love that your writing this all out....it's what I do, it's healing and mostly cathartic....just get it all out....

in reply to fauxartist

Please listen to faux..they've got your back, even if you don't realise it! Highly smart with great advice. I wish for you peace of mind! Love & Hugs!!

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to

we all do Benny.....

in reply to fauxartist

Yes this is true! XXX

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to

your a good egg women.... and we know pain when we see it.... so we are good listeners.....

in reply to fauxartist

You're a good one too, we've got Big Hearts!!! XXX

Benny3221 profile image
Benny3221 in reply to fauxartist

Wow life didn’t go the way you planned it too huh? Crap it seems that people pay for other people’s mistakes:( only way is forward. I’m still trying to figure this stuff out. Thanks for understanding.

MrZee profile image
MrZee

Hi Benny3221,

Many years ago When I was in my 20s I had a great therapist. I was also in the process of coming out and admitting to myself that I’m Gay. I was absolutely terrified of what others would think of me. So I asked my therapist:

“What will society think of me?”

To this very day 40 years later, I will always respect her answer to that question which was:

“Society is fucked.”

And, for the most part, probably 99% of it is fucked up as you describe. But where I’ve made my peace with all that as I’ve matured over the years is my focus is on the other 1% that is loving, supportive and realistic. The fucked up 99% is a total waste of my time and energy. The 1% that I respect and adore I find enriching and supportive.

The 1% out there is all sorts of shapes, sizes, cultures, religious/nonreligious, Gay/Straight, ethnic, and many other factors. My main point: I choose to focus on the 1% that is positive and supportive. With their honest and realistic support life is beautiful.

Best,

MZ

Benny3221 profile image
Benny3221 in reply to MrZee

I can’t imagine coming out without being terrified like you mentioned. It’s a pretty scary world out there at least for me it is. You are 100% correct about the 1% though:) it’s extremely hard though I’m not going to lie. I respect you sir because I can see your honesty and strength through your words. Damn 99% o well.....gotta focus on that 1% take care hopefully one day in the future there will be a cure for all our suffering and illnesses:)

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