Addict boyfriend

[misfitt]

My boyfriend is addicted to triple cs (dxm)and relapsed today. I don't do drugs at all but I've always been scared around people that are hugh I get afraid to touch them or even walk where they walk because I'm so afraid I'll get high on whatever they on. I made him shower, brush his teeth, and put his clothes in the dirty ones when he got here. I know I physically have to take the pills but it still scares me so bad I have panic attacks, any way to ease my mind or anyone else that does this?

[Bahamamama]

My fiancé is addicted to heroine and cocaine and I can’t stand it he will never get clean and I can’t beg him to get clean . I love him more then anything but he and I can never have a conversation about anything he makes me false promises and it really upsets me and I don’t know what to do anymore it’s like I should be so happy with him and I love him so much and yet he’s completely neglecting me .

[fauxartist in reply to Bahamamama]

There is a group called Alanon for the friends, family, and spouses of addicts and alcoholics to learn to cope with how this affects their lives, but as far as your fiancé is concerned....they have to want to get clean on their own and for themselves and work their own program. Take it from someone who has been in recovery for a very long time...he won't get clean unless he finally makes the decision to. Both of those drugs are highly addictive and have a terrible grip on someone, nothing matters but the next high, so I would seriously re-evaluate how much more of your life you want to invest in trying to catch smoke in a bottle, which is what your chances are sadly of getting your fiancé to quit using....I’m sure he cares for you…but you’re in a relationship with a drug as well….and there is no good outcome I am afraid.

[Bahamamama in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you I know , it’s very hard it really is . Yes we have a connection like none other and yes unfortunately the drugs take president in his life he says he wants to get clean one minute and the next it’s like he never said it . I love him more then life itself and I wish I could help him but it seems every time I try to help he just gets more and more aggravated with me plus he doesn’t want my family knowing he’s a drug addict because they wouldn’t want me to be with him . Yes I know it’s my choice and my life , I just wish I could help him in more ways then one .

[SunIsShining]

Sorry but I don’t think there is. The only thing that you can do is aw acknowledge your boyfriends addiction and you either have to accept it or you can’t and then it’s time to contemplate ending the relationship

[Ubud2021]

I used to act in a similar manner, having similar reactions that you have. My dad was a big addict. I saw the things he went through when I was very little, so it put a terrifying image in my head of what could possibly happen to me. As I grew older, I’ve been in a few relationships with addicts. One guy I was with, was so addicted to coke, he ended up in the hospital all the time. When the addiction started, I would make him brush his teeth. But, that ended quickly.... In my mind, I had to be his “ride or die.” I wasn’t feeding his addiction, but, he was a narcissist, and he manipulated me very well. I hope you are not in that situation. And if you are not, HALLELUJAH!

Relapses may happen with some addicts who are working as hard as they can to get/stay clean. It all depends on if you can mentally, physically and emotionally deal with it. It’s not a question of “Do I love him enough?” And it’s not a question of “Am I strong enough to handle him?” It’s a question of, if it is good on your mental health or not.

It’s not on you to have to be worried like that. I get that addiction is a disease. Obviously, he needs a better strategy, or safety plan, or more help. (Or even all of the above.) I believe, you should not have to be worried like that. Not only is it damaging, it’s putting you at risk of other things...

I hope he can find the strength to leave the drugs for good. And I hope you have the strength to do what’s best for you, whatever that may be.

[Hidden]

That’s a reasonable overtaxed stress reaction. You reasonably know it’s not possible but it also feels like a contagion. So you want to scrub your body and hands. If a snake was around you or a spider rubbed up against you or a smelly dog you’d want to wash. Because it’s repulsive. Nothing wrong with having a shower it’s a problem if it’s washing all of the time. Prioritization of your health comes first mental physical so if your partner is getting high and you need space may e one of you should leave while he’s in that state if you can’t take it. I feel for you. Like build a contingency plan he’s aware of and others so it’s handled

[SearchingForTheLight]

Get away DXM is a disassociate. Meaning you black out and see and hear things that are not there. Be safe weird things happen with dxm delirium being one of them. He could be violent and remember nothing.

[misfitt in reply to SearchingForTheLight]

I know what it is and how he is when he's on it, we've been together 2 years I just don't like being around it

[misfitt]

Thank you everyone for the kind replies 💖