My Note: I wrote a note after getting... - Anxiety and Depre...

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My Note

Iveygirl8 profile image
7 Replies

I wrote a note after getting into what feels like the millionth argument with my partner during this quarantine. Here are my thoughts written out- can anyone relate? I'm really good at giving advice, I am terrible at following it.

I have no home.

The things that are important to me do not matter to anyone else.

I have wanted a permanent home and family for as long as I can remember.

I have cried every day for 2 months.

My auto-immune disease is going to end up killing me at some point.

I cannot plan for the future because I have no future to plan.

My dreams face apprehension and no chance, so I've stopped dreaming.

When I speak, no one is listening.

I'm always wrong.

No one will remember me.

I am invisible.

I am not important.

My support system doesn't give me the kind of support I need.

I am an orphan.

I am alone.

I have no worth.

I am unlovable.

I am nobody.

This has been the worst year of my life.

I have to hide how I feel every day.

I love my partner.

I love him.

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Iveygirl8 profile image
Iveygirl8
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7 Replies
hugadoofy profile image
hugadoofy

I think this post made me tear up a little bit. I can't say that I relate to everything because I have a family that loves me but a lot of the points i do relate too. When I speak no one listens, I feel invisible, I am not important, and I hide how I feel everyday. I want you to know that everyone is lovable. You are worth something. Even though we may feel defeated there is something greater waiting for us. I am a christian, not a heavily religious person, but I believe that everyone is ,meant to do something that is great. Even if God put you on this earth to help others know they aren't alone by posting this. You have a purpose.

Iveygirl8 profile image
Iveygirl8 in reply tohugadoofy

Thank you for your compassion and light. For however long this feeling of being connected lasts, I am grateful for you in this dark night.

hugadoofy profile image
hugadoofy in reply toIveygirl8

You are welcome, if you need to talk my inbox is always open :)

Well, I feel like if this is the worst year of your life, then the good news is it will probably get better. Having gone through these things can lead to great strength and wisdom. I would tell you to hold on because things get better.

Last year was the worst year of my life but I have grown so much since then that it was really good for me. I also found more resources to help me now and in the future. Yeah this quarantine is hard but just temporary and it's just a bit longer. Hold on. I am not perfect and my advice probably isn't either but I believe things will get better soon. Good luck!

I mean...I hope it gets better for you.

shewolf_ profile image
shewolf_

Wow I can honestly say that I can relate to most of these statements . I feel your pain. You matter . Your emotions matter and your feelings matter. The people who you cherish that does not cherish you , will cause more pain than love . That’s a one way street and you’re going the wrong way. To love yourself more I suggest surrounding yourself with people who love you too... and show it. I’m so sorry to hear about your health problems. I’ve faced that I don’t have parents to help me in my life but I have accepted this adversity and moved on . I hope you can find a home within yourself. I pray that you can find strength to choose you everytime. You are somebody and to believe that you must make some adjustments to your social , love and personal life. Maybe now is the time to do some inner searching of what you’re looking for ... and I think that’s love .

I hope things get better for you. I like to listen to music that helps me calm down when i’m sad and i like to write in my journal too maybe you could try those coping mechanisms. Meditation helps too

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

Everyone matters....everyone. And I don't live for the future....I just let life happen on a daily basis....I don't know what tomorrow will bring...and frankly, I don't want to know. So I live my life for just today. Corney as that sounds...it works...I am at the point in life where I just can't worry anymore....I want to live what life I have trying to be as content as I can be, and a big part of it means getting out of my own way. You are worth it...you deserve it too...we all deserve to at least have some kind of peace in this life.

We have to learn to become our own friend first. We learn to like the good things about ourselves...we all have something to bring to the table. The glass half full thing... what is it about yourself that you do like. And please...try....find things that do make you happy.

Honey....the reality is....in a relationship...if we don't like ourself...how can we expect someone else to like us. So if someone does like you...it's obvious there are things about you to like...those are your starting points to grow on.

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