Dreadful: My life is so terrible. My... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Dreadful

My life is so terrible. My anxiety and depression and derealization are at an all time high. I've accepted that I'm never going to get better. Ive already lost 7 years to this. I have no real support system and no family. Ive tried every medication, every kind of therapy, every anxiety guru. I feel like I'm in Hell. Literally, this world actually feels like hell to me. I am constantly overcome by a feeling of dread so intense that I can barely move. I can't shower, nothing ever feels real. All of the days and nights blur into one hazy nightmare. I can't remember what it feels like to be happy.

14 Replies

Hi there. I've never dealt with derealization, so I don't know what to say except hang in there. You say in your profile that you're taking one day at a time. That is what it's all about.

Only you can do it, therapy tells you how, you have to put the work in every day ! if as you say you,ve tried everything ! which I doubt ! The answers are within you not outside in the worlds thinking, have you tried Holosynce ? could help but its maybe a last chance !

Catsamaze profile image
CatsamazeADAA Volunteer in reply to gerrerd

Hi Gerrerd. Always good stuff from you. One thing I disagree with here though is a notion of a “last chance”. I believe there are always chances to make it through even when you’re sure you’ve run out of them :)

gerrerd profile image
gerrerd in reply to Catsamaze

I ment last chance to try more things ! maybe I used the wrong word,

Catsamaze profile image
CatsamazeADAA Volunteer in reply to gerrerd

No worries! I’ve done that more than once. 😊

Sorry u are feeling like this. It is sad. U have to take it one day at a time. We are here for u

Catsamaze profile image
CatsamazeADAA Volunteer

I have felt like this. When I do I pull my horizon in to where I am just looking at the next 15 minutes....what can I do to get through the next 15 minutes. When getting through the next few hours or the next day seems impossible I know I can make it through a very small increment of time. And then the next one and so on. It doesn’t solve the suffering you are experiencing but it can sometimes help get through the worst of it.

I’m sorry you’re in such pain. We understand

So sorry for your terrible suffering but please don't give up. Keep trying medication s and alternative therapies. Maybe you can also try prayer. I know prayer has helped me at my lowest times in my life. I will add you to my prayer list too.

The worst thing about anxiety and depression is that it ruins your inner self. It is self-destruction, leading you to a massive loss. I can totally understand your situation. We all are in it. Last night my anxiety was at the peak. I started weeping, sobbing, and crying at 12 AM and it continued for 6 hours. I didn't have anyone to talk to. The only thing that worked was me myself. I mean only you can help yourself. No superpower can come and soothe your mind and soul. You have to battle it alone. You have to tell yourself this too shall pass. You have to calm yourself. Once you believe no one is going to help you out. Things get easier. I know you have tried a lot of things. But this is what I want you to review. mangoclinic.com/an-ultimate... Please give it a read. People will tell you ways to deal with your anxiety and depression. It's you who have to act upon that. No other can do that.

I'm sure that there is some type of treatment out there that will help you. Your anxiety could be due to an underlying health condition. Or it may just be that you need to change to an overall more healthy lifestyle.

Google "anxiety due to medical condition" and "anxiety nutrients"

" The most common mental disorders that are currently prevalent in numerous countries are depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).[2] The dietary intake pattern of the general population in many Asian and American countries reflects that they are often deficient in many nutrients, especially essential vitamins, minerals, and omega-3 fatty acids.[3] A notable feature of the diets of patients suffering from mental disorders is the severity of deficiency in these nutrients.[3]

Studies have indicated that daily supplements of vital nutrients are often effective in reducing patients' symptoms.[4] Supplements containing amino acids have also been found to reduce symptoms, as they are converted to neurotransmitters which in turn alleviate depression and other mental health problems.[4]

On the basis of accumulating scientific evidence, an effective therapeutic intervention is emerging, namely nutritional supplement/treatment. These may be appropriate for controlling and to some extent, preventing depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, eating disorders and anxiety disorders, attention deficit disorder/attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADD/ADHD), autism, and addiction.[4] "

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl...

Hi someone, I'm sorry you are still struggling with anxiety, depression and derealization.

One thing that stands out in your post for me is you saying "I've accepted in that I'm never going to get better". I've learned over the years that subconscious mind is always listening to every word we say. Whether it's positive or negative. The problem is that these sayings or thoughts are replayed while you sleep and can only get stronger. So when it is a negative saying, you can't possibly wake up to a positive day. It cancels it out.

This is where Meditation and Breathing before bed, once in the afternoon and first thing in the morning can make a significant change in how you feel.

We can't wish these feelings away, there is no magic pill (as you found out). Therapy can only guide you to the right path but it's you that must put one foot in front of the other and go forward. Right now you are stuck in this cycle. Is it any wonder why each day and night is a nightmare. Your mind may be going 100mph but physically you are going no where.

I've always believed that there is something in our lives that started this fear cycle and unless we fix it or accept it, it will continue to grow and take over our lives. This seems to be what happened to you. Something has either been swept under the rug or not address 7 years ago and so it continues to replay everyday.

You know that I've always cared and nothing would make me happier than to see you happy once more. Never say never. Believe in yourself and the power of your mind. I'm here as well as this great forum with many new people who can support you. You're so young and have a whole lifetime ahead of you. I think anxiety has taken enough time away from you. Now it's time for you to reclaim your life back. Hugs, :) xx

I'm so sorry. You are not alone. Sometimes it is one minute at a time with white knuckles. If there is a poem, a verse, a prayer...anything you can recite to yourself and breathe. This helps me when I just need to stop the chatter in my mind. Hang in there...

Happiness always comes with efforts. I know what you're going through and I can totally understand your situation but now it's time to do some efforts for yourself. This a battle between you and your inner self. You are a warrior and you have to fight for yourself. The main key is to accept yourself and reality no matter what. Here is the best way to manage your anxiety and depression. mangoclinic.com/anxiety-man...

I hope it helps.

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