New to this

[prisonmike7]

I have been really struggling this past month and half. this is new to me because i am so used to just keeping everything bottled in. i feel like the people around me don't really understand and at times don't take me seriously. my family is small and never been the family to talk about feelings or things that bother us. i have pushed a lot of friends and family out of my life because i don't want to burden them or don't really feel like explaining. i tried for about 5 years to do this on my own but i have just reached a point where i can't. it is just consuming me. i started going to see a therapist, at times it helped but it just wasn't making me feel better like people said it would. i have been having panic attacks a lot recently. i try to explain to my boyfriend and he kind of understands, but at times doesn't. i just want to find people that understand what i am going through. i am tired of feeling alone.

[Kate0712]

My boyfriend is the same way. He tries to be understanding but he just doesn’t know how to relate bc he doesn’t experience these feelings like we do. It’s so hard for me to talk to people I know bc I always feel like they think I’m over exaggerating and they may not even feel that way or maybe they don’t know what to say bc they simply can’t relate. I too have a small family and was raised to be strong and basically “suck it up” so I always hid my feelings and tried to pretend I was okay.

[prisonmike7 in reply to Kate0712]

since i was young i have always had to be the rock for my family. i have always had to be strong for the people around me. i just hate feeling like this bc it is hard not to feel weak. i can be strong for people around me, but when it comes to myself im really struggling to.

and my bf and i have been together for 8 years, and as long as i have know him he has dealt with depression, he is also a recovering addict. i just think at times he doesnt understand because he went to rehab and got help and made a good group of friends that understand what he went/is going through. so i am just hoping coming to this site will help. where i can talk to people who relate.

i appreciate you responding, helps hearing from people who are going through similar things

[Sprinkle1]

Yes you are going thru a rough time. A therapist will help you, but you have to be honest and let "It All hang out", . I swear by therapy, got into it at age 40, turned my life around. Want to read a good book, I read it 30 years ago, by Dr. Scott Peck, "The Road less Traveled", it was in the top 10 best sellers list for 7 years, Amazon has it new/used. Yes we tend to bottle thing in, I was good with my anger, stuffed it and ended up depressed. My therapist taught me how to be angry in a healthy way, and taught me So many other things. No most people do not understand as they have not felt what you are feeling, or stuff their own feelings. One of the reasons the world is in such a mess is the lack of communication. Once you learn who you are, learn to love and accept yourself, your life will become So much better. i.e. I do not worry about anything, I do not care about who likes me or who does not, I have me and I love me, I am OK despite my faults, and we all have faults and make mistakes, mistakes is how we intelligent ones learn. At age 16 I made up my mind I would not let fear control my life, it has let me to do many things, i.e. jump out of a plane at 10.000 ft, ride in helicopters, ride down the Grand Canyon on a Mule, ride in a Hot Air Balloon, wanted to do a bungee jump, but my Chiro. recommended against it!!!

So be kind to yourself, find out who you really are, then go ahead and live the life you want to. I send you strength, courage, belief in self, love yourself, like yourself, be your own best friend, you won't find a better one. As you grow and change you will attract people like yourself, believe me a fully functioning and alive person at 78 next month?!!! Sending love and hugs.....Sprinkle 1.....

[prisonmike7 in reply to Sprinkle1]

thank you soo much for your kind words, really helping my day start off on the right foot!

[Mijmijkey74 in reply to Sprinkle1]

That's great you have the money to do those things to make you happy. There are many many people including myself who would love to do those and similar things to make themselves happy but can do none of them because finances do not permit so we remain stuck in a life we hate wanting to do thing but not financially able. So we remain depressed and unhappy. I know what would completely remove my depression and anxiety but it's with me for life because the acts/movements that would remove d&a I will never be able to afford, so my d&a remains and my life remains filled unhappily with d&a. Great you can afford to help yourself.

[Philjc]

That's the beauty of this site, you can let everything out anonymously.

[prisonmike7 in reply to Philjc]

i am really glad i found this site because even when im hesitant to post something, reading through others and the people's responses help.

[Philjc in reply to prisonmike7]

Agree, I wouldn't feel hesitant though, whatever you're thinking of posting, remember it's kind hearted people that don't know you, so they won't judge.

Plus, what you post might help someone else that's going through similar.