Obsessed

[little_cactus]

i am in a relationship now. I think i am obsessed with my partner. Last night they were in a bad mood. I kept asking them why they were feeling so, but they just wouldn't tell me. They said they'd rather talk about something else. Mind you, our relationship was never meant to be a long distance one if it weren't for Covid-19. Now here we are.

They went to sleep, but that's where I felt i was spinning out of control. I was crying and sweating profusely. I threw up once. I kept calling them, texting them to no avail. I could not sleep.

I'm anxious.

I'm worried that they'll think I'm crazy.

I'm trying to focus on myself. I read a lot of books, i write haiku, i do yoga. I love baking. I'm planning to teach myself hebrew.

But I'm very sad now. I feel shitty.

PLEASE help.

[nicole96]

Relationships are scary, because they are a risk..

As cliché as it may sound, you can’t love anyone else until you learn to love yourself..

It sounds like you don’t feel worthy enough of this person? Something I have struggled with throughout all of my previous relationships..

KNOW THAT YOU ARE WORTHY. You deserve validation, you deserve acceptance. You deserve to have what you want in a partner. Explain to them what it is you are feeling, how you feel shut out. If they think you’re crazy, that’s their loss. Someone out there will value you for every imperfection and flaw you display.

I know, easier said than done. But I find that the greatest strength and lessons come from heartbreak and adversity.. You are stronger than you think you are. Take a risk on yourself. You are in control. Be kind to you FIRST.

[little_cactus in reply to nicole96]

Thank you for writing back, Nicole. I really needed this advice 🌼

I hope you're well.

[Sandaa]

I have been there. It makes you feel like you are losing your mind. You feel helpless and paranoid. It's hard. I am currently working on it now. Some days are harder than others but I am feeling better.

Someone suggested that I read and write more. And when doing that,truly focus. Exercise is another thing that is helping me. Even though it's still early days for me but I am very proud of myself because it was hard. So be nice to yourself. Celebrate the days that you feel better. Be strong.

[little_cactus in reply to Sandaa]

thank you so much Sandaa. I needed that.

Take care 🌼

[sweetiepye]

Why do you refer to your partner in the third person ?

[little_cactus in reply to sweetiepye]

to maintain anonymity

[sweetiepye in reply to little_cactus]

?

[little_cactus in reply to sweetiepye]

I'm sorry, I don't seem to be able to explain it to you.