What gives?!

[mel2501]

I constantly battle the need of being praised and rewarded for my accomplishments, yet I get truly uncomfortable when someone pays me a compliment. Wanting to be acknowledged because of my suffering from depression, but not wanting to be seen as powerless. Sad about feeling alone, yet not answering, sending texts or reaching out. I want to get better but don’t feel like doing anything. What gives?

[PastelPink20]

Because, you think you’re seeking external validation but actually, you want internal validation you don’t know how to give yourself. Well, we all need both is what I mean.

It’s not bad to want acknowledgment for your accomplishments! It’s not bad to ask for help! It’s normal for a kid to draw a picture and race over to hand it to their parents. If their parent compliments it, then the kid feels proud and happy. If the parent threw it away or yelled at the kid, then the kid crumples and feels sad. It makes sense! Be kind and gracious to yourself.

For me:

I am not enough. I strive for perfection. I want to feel good about myself... but I don’t believe it.

Someone else can’t give me that. They can support me, help me identify my negative self talk, and care about me.

But, I have had to do the work to choose to and learn how to love myself.

At least, that’s how it was for me about the compliments thing. I wanted to be seen; yet, I wanted to disappear.

Therapy helped me.

I’d say, it’s about how depression takes away your power, spirit, and belief in yourself. You can’t just let it decide that you don’t want to do things. You have to fight.

I’m tired of depression changing how I see myself and see my life... it makes me see everything as a barren wasteland where I’m trash. That there’s no hope. Sigh.

It reminds me of the “I love me” song by Demi lovato. music.youtube.com/watch?v=0...(Not working as expected?)

Send that text. Get out bed. Give yourself the compliments you want. Stand up and give yourself a round of applause. Be your own sidekick. Grasp onto joy and horde it like a dragon.