The saddest part of depression for me is having everything in the world....adoring husband, wonderful adult children, a gorgeous grandchild who is a joy, more money than I will ever need, etc.....yet feeling absolutely no joy at all, not enjoying the things you used to, never laughing, wanting to live but not wanting to live, and last but not least looking forward to bed every night so it all ‘stops’.
Working hard at changing hard all of this. Medication, emdr therapy, etc.
Saddest part is I am in my 60’s and was never like this until 3 years ago when I suffered trauma,
Best part is I think I have found one medicine combo that works....just need to give it time to work....
A suggestion if I may , this trauma 3 yes ago, I take it its still troubling you . Also if your talking meds combo the pain must be tremendous too & I'm sorry if it is all of that which ruining your daily life. My suggestion is this trauma that happened has happened & can't be changed & thats stopping from taking enjoyment from the life in front of you & maybe it's time to look at things you have control over , as only we have the true power to change our outlook . It reads like your family are a great bunch & materially you want or need for nothing , so I can only think that you need to help you get over the hurdles you have & start with the tiny ones first & having a grandchild is a great inspiration to use to help you be a better grammy for little one.
Now if I'm talking poop please tell me to shut up & go away but I wish you the best of joy when working on urself.
I feel like you. I’m in my 60’s and have everything most people would think brings happiness. Yet, it’s that overwhelming sadness and anxiety that causes me to look forward to bedtime just to get a break from it all. Yet, now I’m not sleeping at night either so it’s hard to not get that break.
I’m happy you have found the right combination of meds to help. It does take time to get into your system and make a difference. I wish you the best.
I wanted to add I was seeing a Psychiatrist for 20 years but she let her license lapse twice so I decided to leave. She refused to end therapy with some kind of closure. That one thing hurt deeply because of my trusting her for so many years.I had to wait a year to get in to see another Psychiatrist whom I just met last month.
The saddest part for me was realizing I had never been happy. The cloud was programmed in to my brain at a young age. With work, much like you’re doing, the cloud evaporated. I’m sorry you’re having to go through all of this. I hope you find your way back to joy. 🌿
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TLDR: what book(s) have you found helpful in dealing with depression? 
What should I do? What do you do when you feel depressed or anxious or BOTH?
The saddest, happy mom
what meds worked for any of you out there with gad and depression? And have you used cbt or act therapy? 
