I miss my husband.

[SmileySmiles]

My husband has clinical depression. It is like he has transformed into a different person. It is hard to talk to him about it because I don't want to make him feel worse. I try not to take it personally but it feels like he has lost interest in me. Sex life is practically nonexistent. He is affectionate but it feels forced. Like he is only doing it to make me happy. I just want to help him but I don't know how.

[Hidden]

Thats a tough situation. Many antidepressants cause a decrease in libido and even erectile dysfunction in some men. Is he actively seeing a therapist? If so, I would try and get some joint counseling to work thru this.

[SmileySmiles in reply to Hidden]

He is going to a psychiatrist. But they don't provide therapy just hand out meds. He has been to more than one and they all seem to be like that.

[Hidden in reply to SmileySmiles]

A psychologist would b better suited to do some problem solving with you both together.

[Sprinkle1]

I feel for you and your husband. I suffer with Clinical Depression, it is Hell, I just came out of a 3 year trip thru hell, it also had severe anxiety. I am finally on a med that is working for me, in the am I take 50 mg of cymbalta, at bed time I take 100 mg Desyrel for sleep. Gabapentin 300 mg 4 times a day, for pain and calmness. I have a wonderful therapist who has helped me So much. Now because of the virus I cannot go to her office, so we do phone therapy. Find someone for your husband that specializes in depression, etc and get him on med's that work for him. Yes it can affect your sex life, I am single so it is no problem for me, I realized earlier in the week I have lost my feelings!!! For your husband on the right med's and the right type of therapy this will return. If needed talk with a therapist yourself, you need support and care. I am a Big believer in Therapy. Thru my life it has helped me a Lot. I send you strength, courage, hugs n love.....Sprinkle 1....

p.s go on line, there are some great books about depression, you can get them at Amazon new/used.......

[Kitten58 in reply to Sprinkle1]

*** TRIGGER WARNING

I am glad you found help. I am still working through depression. I have a therapist and I take cymbalta and wellbutrin. I have suppressed my feelings for so long due to ex-narcs I can't identify them. Talking and meds are helping. I kind of wasn't to stay alive for my daughter and grand children. Still a fight though. Try to only take one day at a time. Yes I went through the alcohol and drug thing. HP helps a lot.

[Sprinkle1 in reply to Kitten58]

I am proud of you, you are doing what you can to help yourself. Life is difficult and we sometimes go thru Long bad spells, but they Do end. Try to remember your husband is ill, and Clinical Depression is one of the worst. You too apparently suffer from depression, it is a catch 22, your both at your wits end. Enjoy your daughter and the lovely grandchildren. As far as trying to help your husband I still think a therapist would be a good bet. You yourself need love and care. Over 20 years ago I joined a spiritual group, they taught me to "Live in the Moment", I do, it is better than one day at a time. I am fully alive as I am aware of what I am doing, what I did is past and gone, and what is coming up will get here. I also learned 30 years ago how not to worry. When my depression does not have control of me I live a wonderful life, I am happy when I get up and when I go to bed. If a problem occurs I deal with it and get it into the past. Write to us and let us help you, we offer support and love. Take good care of yourself put yourself lst, when you are well then maybe you can help your husband. Sending love, courage, strength, peace & big hugs....Sprinkle 1......

[Kitten58 in reply to Sprinkle1]

I have two Narcissistic ex wives, and two kitties.

[lovetodance2018]

I am sorry your husband is dealing with depression. Both my husband and I have dealt with depression. It is hard on a realtionship, however, it can also bring you closer together. Is your husband being treated for his depression. With the right counselor and medication the chemicals in the brain can become balanced. This is a good place to get support for yourself and you also might want to see a counselor to help you get through this tough time. Depression is an illness. Here is a good article to help you. bit.ly/3aHFldi

Just be there for him, let him know you love him, that you understand he is struggling and you just want to make sure he gets the help he needs. My depression and my husbands is definitely affected by our thoughts and going through the depression it is hard to focus on anything else. Know you are not alone. Reach out anytime. I will be praying for you. God Bless.

[Poodie]

Hi Smiley.

I am sorry you are going through this. I am sure my husband feels the same when I am withdrawn and depressed. Just stick by him. Being there for him is the best thing you can do. That will be a great comfort to him. Just know that it does mean a lot.

He would probably benefit from therapy. Some psychiatrists do only tend to prescribe meds which can take some time to work. These meds can be very helpful. It is likely that he could benefit from therapy. I see that someone suggested a psychologist. Has he tried finding a clinical psychiatric social worker? Both can be equally good.

These trained social workers usually have LCSW after their name. They have a 2 to 3 yr graduate degree in social work, are trained and have been given hours of supervision in clinical work / therapy. They usually use or collaborate with a psychiatrist who is a medical doctor who can prescribe medication if necessary. After they have accumulated many hours of clinical supervision, they have to pass a state licensing exam which allows them to see individual patients in therapy. So you would want to find a licensed clinical psychiatric social worker. Get someone with several yrs of experience.

I find them well trained and their patients best interest are kept foremost.

If you need more support through this yourself, you may decide to see one also. I know it is difficult for you too. Hopefully you two will be back doing fine as a couple soon. Therapy has its’ ups and downs so be aware that things rarely improve in a straight line up. Good luck to you both.