Husband doesn't understand: So I was... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Husband doesn't understand

purl1
purl1

So I was talking to my husband about what I've been going through. I told him I feel guilty because I'm not working and I feel like I shouldn't be enjoying myself because of it. I told him I just can't relax anymore and I wish I could be like I was 5 months ago. I was normal. He says he thinks it is from the meds that I take. He thinks they are clouding my mind and probably causing my anxiety. I don't know why he would think that. I feel disapointed that he feels that way. He doesn't understand like I thought he did. I feel alone now. more than ever. why can't he understand the meds are helping me not want to hurt myself or something worse. he makes me second guess myself a little. I can't take that chance of going off my meds and something bad happen. Why can't he see that they are helping me not hurting me. He is religious and maybe he thinks meds are not needed. I don't know.

7 Replies
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First of all, there is no normal so you not need to blame yourself. You SHOULDN'T use the word SHOULD when explaining your treatment. You want to set up goal's, not expectations. Med's are a very good way to receive part of your treatment. Your husband shouldn't be talking for you and telling you how to feel, he should be validating. Use this in your relationship and when talking to him use I feel statements. I feel... because...I know that this is distorted because... I hope that makes sense. It is better to simply things so that they can understand, because they don't know. Talk to your therapist about healthy way to cope with anxiety. You are never alone. It may seem like it, but your not. I know that is a basic thing to say but, you will be okay. Everybody has rough patches, you just got to get through them.

I wish you luck, I hope that we can continue to talk and connect.

very good advice'positive too!

I would try explaining it more, possibly even creating a visual to show him for him to physically see and understand what you’re saying , you know? I understand completely where you’re coming from, I’m in the process of trying to get a psychologist to get on meds for my depression and paranoia. So I definitely see where you’re trying to stress that the medicine is helping you

I would love to be able to come off my meds but I just don't think it's possible. I do think I need to talk to him about it more. It was such a let down to hear him talk about it that way. I thought he understood what I'm going through. Guess I was wrong.

People who don't have mental illness problems just can't understand exactly what we go through. You can only hope they'll be sympathetic and supportive. I'm sorry to hear you are not getting that. Do you think your meds are causing a problem? It might be worth talking to your doctor. His opinion I would value.

I feel you purl1 & have experienced this in the past.

I wish you the understanding & support you need.

I’m glad you’re here.

You are not alone.

So often times, people don't understand what we are going through. They try but they can't because they are not where we are at and going through what we are going through. They say things to help us feel better and in fact it makes us feel worse. Our perception of what they say brings us hurt feelings, and it is just simply because they do not know. We want them to feel it and understand it, however, they can't because they have never been there. Continue to do what you are doing. Don't feel guilty about feeling better and getting help. You are doing the right thing. Your husband loves you and he does want to see you happy and doing well. To put it simply, they are not where we are at and so they just don't know how to respond, they think they are being helpful. We have to give ourselves and medicine time to make things better. We want instant healing and with instant healing we would not learn about ourselves. Time gives us room to heal and grow and learn what we are going through with ourselves. Take time to heal and grow. Prayers your way.

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