Feeling sad

I wonder if anyone out there might be able to give me any advice? I've been struggling with anxiety and depression forever but particularly last 10months! I'm driving my boyfriend mad and my moods are causing us difficulties! This morning I had a panic attack as we were getting ready to go to a wedding. I hadn't slept and got into a state. He's been patient for so long but he had to go without me and it had been in doubt whether I'd go because I keep cancelling. I've sat feeling sorry for myself and just don't know how to move forward. I feel like my life has been full of anxiety and I can't cope with it anymore. Letting people down is the worst thing. Do other people feel guilty for getting depressed and anxious?

18 Replies

  • Yes I feel really guilty. Lately my husband is having to do everything. I can't even go to the store.

    For me I just keep believing that this will pass. I haven't been like this my whole life, just since Feb. I don't believe we were meant to live with this misery. Keep pushing forward.

  • Sorry to hear you've had a tough 6months or so. Hope you pick up very soon. X

  • get help. see a doctor asap. you have anxiety. pls take proper treatment and therapy. dont worry. see a doctor

  • Thank you for replying. I have made a docs appt for next week. X

  • I am glad that you have made an appointment to see a doctor. Be honest, not only with the doctor, but with yourself. I take Effexor ER which helps anxiety AND depression (I also take Klonopin when my anxiety is particularly consuming and use other DBT based coping skills to get through anxiety inducing situations. My goal is just to avoid the danger zone----PANIC ATTACK!

  • Oh, I know that feeling well! I've cancelled so many events because I just couldn't beat the idea of them. Medication helps, especially ones geared toward social phobia. But I've also tried to learn my limitations. I can do so much out and around and then I need to be home to recharge my battery. If you keep a notebook/scheduler, you can write down events you have to/want to attend and see how much your emotional battery is going to be drained. Then, NO to the stuff that's optional and will be too much. I'm not saying don't go anywhere. I'm just saying try to schedule your time to so you can do what you most want and need to, and let the extra, overhwelming stuff go. Or put a question mark in your notebook by it so you know it's optional for you. That way you won't have to cancel so much. It's a balance between pushing yourself and just accepting who you are. Not being able to go to a wedding doesn't make you a bad person; it just means your symptoms are kicking in and demanding that you take it easy.

  • First of all: honestly communicate with yourself about how you feel and know that it's okay to feel that way. Communicate with your health care team and significant other about what you need, want, and don't feel comfortable doing.

    It's okay to skip functions if you aren't feeling well. My concern is not sleeping as I know that it's a trigger for me and my life turns into a living hell when I do not get appropriate rest.

    Please know that one step at a time is challenging but it can be done. Just don't stop or give up before your breakthrough comes through.

    Be blessed!

  • Thank you for your reply. It has made me realise that I've been very negative and giving up so I must start doing one step at a time from now! It is such a challenging journey and it's so important to stay strong. Wishing you well too in your struggle. Take care x

  • Thank you for the well wishes but please understand this: you're dealing with being depressed. Negative feelings are how the disease manifests itself in addition to many other symptoms. Please know that I understand what you are going through as I am depressed now as well. I am tired of crying so now it's time (like you) to take baby steps towards being healthier and learning how to manage better to the best of our ability. We will have moments of doubt, weakness, frustration, even anger amongst a myriad of others but we must pray for strength to endure and do our best. 😊

    Be blessed friend!

  • Thank you again. I don't have a team just a gp. She is lovely but I struggle to go to the surgery or anywhere at the moment. I overthink everything and have diagnosed myself with every mental illness in the book. As you say a step at a time but some days it's one forward and three back for me. Onwards and upwards! Hope your day is ok x

  • You may also want to get a psych assessment. The doctor might recommend a treatment program to help jump start your progress. There are two options PHP (partial hospitalization) and IOP (intensive outpatient); the difference is that one is all day (8:30-3) and the other is morning (8:30-noon). I recently did a DBT based IOP and it was GREAT. You are monitored daily; you get skills classes to teach you ways to better cope, you have daily group therapy with others who are struggling with similar issues. You have a weekly solo session with your therapist and seen by a psychiatrist so if you are on meds your condition can be monitored. You even get a family session so your support system can understand what you need and how to help you. The programs are generally covered by insurance and FMLA. I have also been through a CBT based PHP. I found DBT more helpful because it deals more with behaviors and how we react to our thoughts and emotions. CBT deals more with changing how we think.

  • Thank you Lag1 for your reply and the explanation of possible treatment options, I think you are probably in the US and I'm in the U.K. and the treatment options vary. I shall ask my gp what's available other than antidepressants and counselling.

  • I am sure that there are similar types of outpatient therapy there. I surely hope so! They are fantastic and really give a jump start on healing and taking care of ourselves.

  • ... yes I do all the time ! ... people can't relate to it ! They don't understand ... if they have never experienced it themselves ... it's frightening and frustrating ! Iv shared my experiences of anxiety with 3 friends .... hoping they will understand why I don't always accept outings etc ! Only one understands ... because she's going through it herself. she's wrapped up with her own demons, a lot of the time ! That's why I booked Counselling ! Good luck to you and I wish you all the best x

  • Thank you for sharing how it is for you. Since missing the wedding on Saturday, everyone knows I have anxiety. My (ex) boyfriend went alone and this is the second 'do' I've missed. He's just fed up of it and says I'll never get better!! I hope things improve for you too. Warm wishes x

  • Yes, in my mind I tell myself it's not normal/ unnatural instead of accepting my emotions and experience for what it is. I'm so quick to try to fix it instead of just "being"

  • I feel the exact same way. I am new to hear but was trying to find a story that I can relate to, and I found it. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years, almost 7 and he too has been very patient. The thing is I never know what causes my moods until now. I suffer from anxiety and depression. I haven't been diagnosed, but I will be soon. I suffer from all the symptoms but just know that you are not alone. I am hoping to learn, grow, and make a better living for myself with my anxiety and depression issues. It has to be managed.

  • I'm so pleased your boyfriend is so patient and I hope he supports you always. Try and stay positive as I think that's half the battle (I am so negative at times and it isn't helpful) and good luck with everything. X

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