Anxiety and MySelf are Sabotaging My Relationship.

[MammaVeeX4]

I've been with My fiancee for going on 4 Years we Have 1 Child togeather shes 1 Year an a Month old.

I have This obsessive Need to want to go though his Phone/social Media to make sure hes not cheating, i have not found anything i still want to do it. I make up senarios in my head about random girls and tell him hes cheating with them when really i have no proof or reason. He did cheat on me the 1st week of going out other then that i dont believe he has i had seen it in his phone so maybe thats where me wanting to see the phone comes from.

Help... He says he will end up cheating if i dont stop this madness, i try. Some days I'm over the hills in love, Some days im too sensitive some days im mad and dont feel i deserve him.

He dont get my situation he says im crazy and nutts and need help.

[Hidden]

Be really careful about this. The fact that you're making up scenarios and looking at his phone mean that you don't trust him. Try to resist the urge to look at any telephone or computer accounts; it's for your own well being. The fact that he calls you names and hurtful labels is a danger sign.

[MammaVeeX4 in reply to Hidden]

I'm really trying to stop this its a everyday thing. 😒 thank u

[Hidden]

If you have found nothing accept that, I wouldn’t like it done to me,

[Loki1018]

I know exactly what your talking about it except for my bf never has cheated on me that I know of and he's always home with me after work, always wants me to go out with him even when it's an all boys thing such as sports events and pretty much any events. This also comes from my past relationship where I had been cheated on I know you shouldn't bring those past baggages with you onto the next but I always say "I'll give you the benefit of doubt" until other words you give me a reason or suspicion but my head makes up scenarios all on it's own when there are no reasons. It does put a strain on the relationship I also been told by him that he mines as well do it since I accuse him of doing so but I know he just says that when he's frustrated when I'm being like that. Unfortunately it's my insecurities and my most worst enemy is my mind and he says "there's nothing I can do about you and how your mind works but I better fix it" and he's right cause he's been at the point of wanting to end things because of that. I've gotten better but there are still those moments. I been recently diagnosed with bipolar and depression as well as anxiety so I believe that plays a big role as well. I work in Labor and delivery talk to someone because you may also be having post partum depression and it doesn't necessarily have to manifest right after having a baby it can even happen a year from that or more.

[MammaVeeX4 in reply to Loki1018]

Yes. He tells me i better fix it as well or else. An it would suck if he left but ive been through alot and i know id be okay as well. My mind just dont stop. I believe im bi polar as well i need to talk more with someone and diagnose me. Also i dont live with him but i do go everywhere with him when were not working and i see him Every day and we talk all the time. But i dont want to live with him at the moment for my own personal reasons with my mom. But that does take a tole on me.

[Loki1018]

Also I look at this way if he was to leave me it would be his loss and I'll be ok, I was before I was with him and I'll be ok with out him. We been together going on 5 years and moved in together about 1 year and half together he says it's one of his ways to show me that I'm the only woman he wants to be with, but I made the decision to see how it really is to be with him cause you don't really know how their are until you live with them and before making extreme decisions like getting married which then to leave would be more difficult then when bf&gf where I can't just pack my shyt and walk out the door no paperwork involved lol

[levymaria]

It takes time for you to get yourself together and as a woman any sign of unfaithfulness will leave you with a “what if” feeling, but as a man the last thing he should be doing is using your insecurities as an excuse to cheat. That honestly pissed me off. He should be supportive and trying to help you find a solution instead of telling you you’re crazy and nutts, he sounds immature asf.

[MammaVeeX4 in reply to levymaria]

I agree. Its like he just dont get it or maybe dont want to get it. He dont show emotion very well and dont conversate alot how he was raised i guess. Today i said hes verbally abusive by telling me im nutts and need help. Thank you for seeing it how i do. I haye the what if feeling

[levymaria in reply to MammaVeeX4]

That sounds like my boyfriend 🙄 we’ve been together for four years too and he’s a complete introvert and super quiet. The only person he talks to is me. He also cheated so that’s why I can understand where you’re coming from. It took me years to truly trust him again but he also showed me as a man that he wasn’t messing around and was serious. It takes time and if he can’t see that then idk how y’all are going to achieve marriage.