Ruining everything

[chaitealatte]

Ever since I got anxiety, I have been a completely different person and I don't even recognize myself. I am struggling feeling the same in my relationship and I can't ever have consistent feelings and I keep hurting him. We've broken up 3 times in the past month. Has anyone been through this? What did you do to prevent this?

[CanuckAnon]

I got my anxiety under control or rather realized triggers, realized what I was saying, feeling and started to explain it to him.... I started CBT therapy which helped identify what I was doing not so much on causes.... I got neg crap out of my head here and on paper so I could counter it with actual reality not the neg crap spinning in my head. I gave myself to dos every day.. started at 1 thing per day so I could feel proud of me and a sense of accomplishment.

I started a thing where I would make myself do x or get xyz done b4 I treated myself to bubble bath so I could feel like I earned this treat. I started walking dogs everyday, doing yoga and getting out of bed, get dressed even in trackers and brush my hair.... I made up my mind to live again not mearly exist. Relationships are hard enough but with Anxiety it’s an uphill climb some days.... relax breath, get the stuff spinning in your head first... stop putting pressure on him as only u can solve your anxiety.

Have you spoken to a doctor about medication? Therapy? Try educating your bf about anxiety and the false crap that spins in your head so he can try to calm you or knows how to take it and not get mad/offended or as frustrated! Communication is key and also very hard!!!!

Stay strong... if u need to talk, vent whatever let me know... I’ve been there and still occasionally visit!!! 😊🤗🌷☀️

[courageovercomfort]

Yes, I am not the same person when my depression and anxiety are bad. My insecurities & fears come out three fold. And I don’t resemble “myself”. I have found medication, therapy and a really strong support network of family and friends have helped me manage them.

[TAPNewEngland]

Consider talking to him about your troubles and why don't you try couples therapy? If you haven't done so yet, talk to a therapist to see if you need medication.

[c-mac]

I broke up with a wonderful person when I was a graduating senior. I think I was so freaked out that I couldn't manage someone's feelings as well as my own anymore, not with so much pressure on me. If I could do it all again I would talk to them about what I was going through, and that they were welcome to stay with me but I'd have to focus just on myself for a while. MEANWHILE, on my side, hopefully I could use their presence as someone to watch movies with, to take walks with -- to practice anxiety reducing techniques with. But if they couldn't or wouldn't, I'd still need to do it for myself.

[JkBrauer]

Hello chaitealatte,

First I want to say, you are a person after my own heart, I do love chai tea latte's!

What kind of things help you to relax? Music, exercising, writing, baking, shopping...? Try finding something that will help you relax. Praying helps a lot too! Make some quiet time to pray. I hope that you get to feeling better soon! - I am praying for you!