I’m in charge

[raphnn]

I was molested by several family members at a young age. I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t let myself be taken advantage of by a man. My first serious relationship was in freshman year of high school and lasted until my second year of college. My boyfriend started out sweet and ended up being controlling. I told him when I was in my third years of high school how multiple family members molested me and he was really supportive. I told him that is why I am keeping my virginity until I get married. He was okay with that until we reached college. He changed and started being so sexual and was trying to get me to have sex With him. I wasn’t okay with that. I explained to him I wasn’t ready and he slowly stopped talking to me. Because I was so in love with him and I didn’t want to lose him I decided to give him my virginity, even though it was really painful. That’s when the relationship really went down hill, I got pregnant. He started becoming more controlling. Verbally abusing me and telling me what to do. I felt unloved, depressed and helpless. After a nice conversation with my best friend, she encouraged me to break up with him and supported me with my son. Now as I get older I keep seeing the same red flags my ex gave with men I date and at this point I want to give up on dating. Is there something I’m doing wrong ?

[raphnn]

It’s okay. And I have been independent for a long time I’m 28 years old my family keep on setting me up on blind dates. And I hope things work out for you.

[Hidden]

I too am sorry for what's happened to you. Our family had it's share of trauma by sexual abuse and abuse by family members, not to mention mental abuse growing up.

As for the dating, I don't think you're doing anything wrong. I too have had trouble finding myself a match and when I did I thought it'd be forever. You can take my story and say at least this didn't happen to you. I was with a guy for 27 years (I'm gay) only to discover he was playing me. Now I'm single again, but still dealing with the trauma of 27 years of wasted time, I can't get back. On the bright side you are trying and your heart is open.

Don't let your <<Bleep Bleep>> of an ex taint your hope and faith in finding a genuine love. You've got the advantage of time and you only get one shot at life. I am sure your life experiences has taught you the value of love and your struggle seems challenging but that's your gift. You have love to share with someone and there is someone out there that is seeking someone like you too. Keep your head up and with support here, at least we , I too, will keep the loneliness at bay as best as we can until you find that someone.

I'm just another like minded soul (only the gay version) just looking to share my love. I'm ahem...a bit older and looking but got to keep faith. The journey can be worth as much as achieving the goal with the support of family and friends. Though you got a beautiful joy you've got a child to pass your love to also.

I hope you find more love on your journey.

Cheers,

JS