Feeling adrift in life

[benbt]

I left university just over a year ago, because grief had turned my life upside down. I was experiencing lots of panic attacks and feeling depressed. I was also questioning why I was studying what I had chosen to study. I was studying film studies. Films and filmmaking was something I had been passionate about as a teenager and it seemed the logical choice at the time to study it. But found I was becoming disenchanted with studying this subject. When trying to choose a dissertation topic I got stuck I felt drawn to no topic. Depression certainly had a role to play in this. I was seeking support. At the time I was seeing a therapist and had regular meetings with my academic advisor. Leaving my degree was a difficult choice. I know I couldn’t keep on studying at that time. But since I have felt shame and regret that I was not able to finish my degree. I know to a certain extent I have felt pressure from my family to continue, quite a few of my relatives studied at oxbridge and have voiced some criticism. I feel trapped. Since then I have just worked in cafes and now as a carer. I do want to study something else at some point, but not totally sure what. I have considered studying to become a psychotherapist.

[shawshankredemention]

Do your best to let go of the shame and regret. The only person who knows your situation completely is you. Better to take some time off then get a degree in something you dont' like. As someone who is about 20 years older than you I can tell you that life is full of ups and downs. When we are in the downs, it feels like they will never end. When I graduated university, I thought I would never find love. And now, I am wonderfully married with 3 wonderful kids. Are there still struggles? of course. But when the "downs" occur I remind myself they will be temporary and to just wait them out. And when things are great, I try to be more appreciate and thankful. Hang in there, you will find your path.

[Caseopia]

I left school in my 20s. I’m now 40 and thinking of going back. But taking care of our mental health first is crucial. At least for me. I wish you the best. I just was in psychotherapy yesterday and we discussed acceptance. I have a very difficult time with it but she gave some printouts with great coping skills to anxiety and depression. If you would like me to share some let me know.

[benbt in reply to Caseopia]

Thanks Caseopia, those print outs sound interesting.