I'm having quite frankly the hardest year of my life and it's only just begun, I thought 2020 was supposed to be some breakthrough of change and positivity, and I find myself more in a hole than i was last year.. work has been by far the hardest things I've had to drag myself to even though I love the job, I just cannot stand the people, energies, and environment. Everyone's emotions seem to rub off on me and I'm highly sensitive to everything. I constantly leave work to cry in my car and just unload the whole day of torture, only to dread the next day coming and it's a viscous cycle I don't know what to do. I really need help, I'm absolutely traumatized by people and I just fear the next person who comes along will hurt me and use me and I cannot recieve love from anyone in the real world because my perception of reality is off and I feel as though everyone is being fake and not being genuine with me. I almost feel as though even if I run from these "problems" (people) that no matter where I go, these same issues will follow me and I feel as though I'm the toxic person. I'm truly broken and lost, I just want to be a good person and work in peace but I don't know how 😥
What kind of job is suiting for an ex... - Anxiety and Depre...
What kind of job is suiting for an extremely sensitive, over emotional, scared of people, empath?
What exactly are people doing that is bothering you? Is it that they are constantly being negative? Saying insulting things? Bullying? It would help to know a bit more about exactly what the people are doing to upset you.
For one my boss just completely ignores me, treats me differently than everyone else.. when I ask him for help or a question he just answers quietly or sometimes no answer at all.. makes me feel like complete shit and it's been like this for years now, it really made me feel uncomfortable at work and I can't open up or talk to anyone.. then my coworkers are all very rude and I've never felt welcomed from the start, the only person that talks to me is this lady who sits next to me but then slowly she started showing me her true colors and she has alot of narcissistic traits and I just feel uncomfortable around her as well, pretty much everyone I'm surrounded by I feel the energy of and it just gets to me.
Do they treat other people like that too? I get the feeling that if they're just being jerks, you're probably not the only one they've treated that way. Not that that makes it any better, but it might help to recognize that it's not necessarily personal and that other people are probably experiencing similar treatment from them.
Well I've noticed that I'm being treated differently, like when other people ask him something he answers them.. but with me I never get a straight answer or he won't even reply and maybe nod his head. I guess I do take it a bit personal but I just want to be treated like everyone else.
Would it help maybe to bring it up at some point. Like just to say something along the lines of, "Hey, I'm not trying to cause problems or anything, but sometimes I feel like I'm treated differently from everyone else here. For example..." and go from there? It can be scary, but sometimes it can turn out to be a misunderstanding, or the person doesn't even realize they're doing it, but they're more mindful of it in the future once it's brought up. It can be scary, but do you think that's something you'd be comfortable trying?
That sounds very easy to do but not very easy to bring up.. I'm really horrible with confrontation, but that is definitely something I need to work on and get better at!
No. That makes perfect sense! Bringing up a personal problem with someone is one of the hardest things to do. Is it possible that you would feel comfortable doing it by email and maybe offer to meet in person if the person wants to? That way you at least get your foot in the door maybe?
Why do you think your perception of reality is off? I feel as though you have been let down by people and really hurt. I can relate to you having trust issues and finding social interactions very difficult and stressful. I am very shy, introverted and have ADHD. I understand how you feel emotion and energy but sometimes misunderstanding it’s draining isn’t it?!
I’m here if u want to vent, talk whatever 🌷😊
I'm very shy as well and I have probably the worst anxiety of anyone that I know in my personal life, so nobody understands how I feel and deal with things.. I only open up to people when I feel comfortable and welcomed but everyone at my work is nothing but rude and the ones who do talk are very materialistic and shallow. Talk about alot of superficial stuff I just can't connect to. I find myself going along with their conversations so I don't completely feel left out but knowing that I have to fake my way around society really brings me down. I have severe trust issues with people and I'm very closed off and it's been this way for like 6-7 years now and I'm only 26 and it's really affecting my life. I don't even feel like a person most days. I'm like on auto pilot mode just going through the motions not really enjoying life anymore.
I understand about how people can be shallow and such is hard to deal with but one thing to think of is this... do you need to be friends with your co-workers? You are being paid to go to work not socialize. That is not supposed to sound harsh just practical. Avoid the drama, do your job. At lunch take your lunch to a park or quiet spot. Recharge yourself. You sound introverted by the way. If your office has social stuff after hours pick and choose the activities you attend with what works for you with your boundaries.
Do you like your actual job minus the people? If not start looking for a new one with a more positive environment or something that makes you feel good doing?
I am very glad you said that coz I was thinking exactly the same and wondering how to word it without giving offence.
Majinbuu I have worked in places like that before and it's not nice is it. How I coped was finding a decent person or 2 (there always are 1 or 2) and making them a work friend to have lunch with which made it easier. I made 1 friend who was outspoken and very funny. We had a lot of fun by bitching to each how awful the rest of them were.
I think you need to concentrate on having a decent life outside of work, and if you have issues then you need to work on them.
I did find a couple people although they aren't really around much and so I don't really get to see them, but they do bring a smile to my face and make me forget about the shitty situation I'm dealing with. I'm trying my hardest to not focus on what happens during work and just create a life outside, but I find myself constantly dwelling and thinking about the work day even when I'm at home it haunts me. I dread going in the next day and it's just messing with my mental. I really appreciate you sharing some of your coping mechanisms, I'm definitely going to be in search of some easy going people to help me get through the day 🙂
Yes it's hard to switch off isn't it. At least you love your job though which is a huge bonus. I have always done office work which I quite like and concentrated on finding an OK job with hopefully OK people and just seen it as a means to an end so I can pay my bills and put my energies into a good social life. x
I feel like I need to look into an office job though because I literally just want to work, do my job and go home.. and it's kinda hard to unwind because I really don't have many friends or a social life.. I'm working on it 🤷♀️
I mean I can only isolate myself so much before it backfires I guess.
Yep that's why I did it. I also prefer working indoors in a controlled environment in comfortable surroundings. Office work isn't everyones cup of tea though. x
Yeah I prefer a controlled environment as well and I like knowing what each day is bringing so I guess that's why I like my job it's pretty predictable. But I can definitely see how it's not suitable for everyone 
I completely understand what you mean, I am just there to work but some people make it so uncomfortable.. I try to sike myself each day and try not to make it a big deal. I am very introverted so I can't make friends as easily and I wasn't really looking to make friends here where I work, it's more of a narcissist extroverted person kinda latched on to me because I don't know how to stop people from talking and this person just talks nothing but themselves, and it's been that way for years draining me and it just got to a point where I couldn't take it anymore. So I completely just started ignoring that person but now that I've done that they have become vicious with me and talk through me to the other person who sits on my other side. They used to bring food to share with me now they bring it out in front of me and give to the person next to me almost like a diss in my face which I dont care but it's like they do all they can to get under my skin. I say hi, bye, trying to be cordial but now they just completely treat me like shit because I don't give them the attention they want anymore. I was so nice for years letting them walk all over me and talk my ear out and drain me and I just snapped one day, now I'm straight up depressed and hate my work environment. Not to mention my boss hardly says a word to me and kinda treats me the same too because I'm quiet and awkward and so now he just treats me the same almost always mirroring me. I'm sorry I kinda went on a rant there :/
But I do like my job, just very sensitive to the people around me I guess
Learn from this and start setting boundaries so it doesn't reach this stage in future. There are lots of hints you can give first such as letting your eyes glaze over, breaking eye contact and looking away. There are also the time honoured ways such as saying you have to get on with your work etc.
I doubt the other person will put up with it as long as you, and hopefully might become a friend. Then you can both chat away and ignore the narc! 😀 x
I mean I tried all that looking away but they still invade and talk even when I'm not even answering back anymore and that's when I knew she was absolutely nuts. I'm like for real.. I'm straight up ignoring you and trying to work and you still at it, but you are so right.. I do need to set boundaries with people so that way things like this don't happen. I definitely gotta figure out how to do that, but that is some seriously great advice!
Treating this as a learning experience is the most productive way. I have met most types of people in my life, and once you learned to suss out and deal with them means you are aware how to treat them in the future.
I unfortunately ran foul of a narc a few years ago who started spreading lies about me all round my area. She charmed a little group (one was a friend) who believed her. It was horrendous and it got me upset, but only in private. When I heard these lies from others I either said what a load of tosh, or laughed saying you know me better than that, and that she was probably jealous of me!
I avoided her completely and when I did see her pretended she didn't exist knowing this would wind her up as she kept trying to get a reaction out of me. She never got one. I rode it out patiently knowing that she would implode one day or move on. She has disappeared now, no doubt to play her little games elsewhere.
Incidentally the only thing that really hurt was my former friend who refuses to speak to me. But then I don't want a friend like that anyway and it's her loss not mine. x
That's quite a story.. I suppose there are going to be people just like this around every corner, and it's best to be careful who you are opening up to and getting close to. It sucks that these people are very nice in the beginning and very inviting almost luring people in so that way they can do these types of things to them. That's really a shame you had to go through all that, I'm definitely gunna think about what you did in that situation and try to apply that to what I'm going through right now, cause mannnn it is freakin painful. Were playing the ignoring game right now.. and I'm very good at it so I'll see how that goes again today at work. Thanks for sharing your experience having delt with a narc! That really helped me understand that they do exist and it's not only me who sees these kinds of people 🙌
I get it... it’s like a mean girls club eh? Well that’s immature and high schoolish. That must be hard and yes learning to stand up for yourself is really hard, draining when you are a shy introvert.
I always preferred to read a book, listen to a podcast or music outside during lunch because it’s how I recharged my socializing battery for lack of a better term. It gave me the mental energy to deal with inane conversation from co- workers while allowing me to give all my energy, comfort, support to my patients. You really should find a way to reward yourself so that you can have a secret smile on your face (not faked) which will drive mean girls crazy with curiosity. Maybe they will try to include you which you can again pick and choose times of joining or having “me” time at lunch. I understand how hard it is to make friends that u connect with and with trust issues.. my goodness the walls you have built eh? Try activities like book clubs, allows you to share ideas when you want to and just to listen to others. It’s also an individual group activity, try joining something just for you like cooking, baking, art, music, exercise class just so again it’s individual but in a group which allows you to share interests with people in class but you decide what to share and what not to... you can talk about what’s going on in your class etc to start then if you are comfortable share more... maybe volunteer somewhere so you find accomplishment in helping others. Read books to elderly people is an easy one as you are talking but reading to people that are probably as lonely as you are. No pressure on you either....
I think you will figure out what works for you but I just thought of ways to get you out mingling with others but still respecting your boundaries. Take care!
I’m here whenever you need...
It really is like high school all over again nowadays, it's actually one of my phobias (girls).. probably from being bullied when I was younger, so its always so hard for me to connect to women in general unless they are older and not around my age.. but yeah I definitely gotta do more things to get my mind off of my situation.. I do listen to podcasts pretty much my whole work shift so that helps, but my brain can only take so much information.. If you can recommend any cool podcasts you like that would be awesome I'm pretty caught up on everything I'm listening to at the moment
Also thank you so much for being there and listening to me rant and just being super patient and giving really supportive feedback, it means so much that people you don't know can be so caring and feel for others. It really changes my perspective of human interaction and maybe just maybe I'll be able to find people I can connect with, I just gotta be more patient🤞😊
Switch between podcasts to music or books on tape... or even just meditation music that way your brain is not getting overloaded on info. I use podcasts for when I’m outside walking dogs so I have an excuse not to talk to ppl just wave. That’s me enforcing my boundaries😊 while rewarding myself. The meditative music may be better thinking about it as a) it could calm you down b) drown out the noise c) recharge you with a calm peace while working. I do enjoy walking at lunch as it changes my body position, stretches my muscles, changed the scenery and gets endorphins flowing which only improves my mood.
The more you practice talking to people in small groups the more confident you will feel, this is why I thought of an activity to do while talking to people... not all people female or male are like the immature unconfident insecure ones you work with. I figure they are over compensating for whatever with their materialism, pettiness, bossiness... I always got along with males over females because men were not drama. Queens, petty back stabbing etc for the most part. I have a very best friend who is a girl but she is like me Tom boy... 🤣 you will figure it out ... no worries I am here for you so just know you are not alone! By the looks of the replies many here understand too so there you go instant support network standing behind you cheering you on!
Yeah I definitely switch around to things that suit my mood, which sometimes can alter any minute depending who I'm being surrounded by.. it's sad because I do find myself being judged and looked at by other girls who don't like me for no apparent reason. I too struggle with getting along with girls it's always been an issue for me, and that's so funny you say you're a tomboy cause I am too!!! I've always gotten along with guys and fit in better with them because they aren't so dramatic and are easy going and don't bring on as many problems as these girls do. Especially jealousy which eats at me because if they only knew my life and how I feel they would be jealous of nothing.
I have never been more overwhelmed with such support in my life and this has truly been life changing! I'm really so grateful to have found this place at one of my lowest moments and I appreciate every single one of these replies and it makes me feel so good to be believed about what I'm going through rather than judged for things I can't control. Thank you for being kind to me without even knowing me, you don't know it but your words really did make an impact in my life and especially in my day today, which I thought was going to be another shitty day, but wish some help from everyone on here.. it really brightened up my day and made me feel a little stronger going into work this morning! 🤗
I am super sensitive and empathetic as well. Often taking on others feelings. And afraid if many people. Today, I spoke up to the person checking me out at lunch, I received an incorrect meal. This was huge for me, and contemplated for quite some time, just not saying anything. Through therapy, I’ve learned a lot about myself and how to handle me. Hang in there!!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I hope each day gets better for you! It's such a lonely world being sensitive and empathetic.. people just don't get us, the world was built for extroverted people and we just are there in the background trying to find our place. I tried online therapy but didn't find it to be of any help, did you do in person? I'm so afraid to see someone in person I'm really traumatized by people and I always just start crying when I have to open up and dig in the past.
I do in person therapy. I took me a while (3 therapists) to find the right fit, bit finally found one. I’m a big crier as well. And I’m learning there is nothing wrong w that. It’s just how I’m wired.
I can not relate to that more.. Its been tough to find a therapist but I'll find one eventually I hope, and the crying.. I've literally accepted it as well, there is no changing and its something I'll just always have to live with. Sometimes after crying it all out I feel much lighter and then I forgot what I was crying about which is funny. It's crazy how the body can be wired so sensitively! I'm with you 🤗
I too usually feel so much better after crying! A few things I found helpful: Jewel’s song “I’m sensitive” - and a book called The Introvert Advantage.
Literally listening to it right now :') such a pretty song! I love reading books and listening to podcasts all about introversion it helps to know so much about yourself and put things back into perspective that it's not your fault you are like this, it's just a gift and most certainly not a curse.
I'm Confused!! Is This Me Who's Talking Or Is It Someone Else, I'm Not Sure Of anything But It's Okay To Take Time Off, You Need Rest, This Stupid World Drained You That's Why You Feel All The Negativity About Yourself, Take Time Away, Sit By Yourself Wherever You Feel Comfortable, , just Do Things By Yourself For A Bit Of Time, You Will Know That Your Own Company Is The Best, You Will Know Yourself Better Than Before And Those Thoughts About Yourself Being The Bad And The Toxic Person Will Start To Fade Away Little By Little Until You Become Sure Of Who You Actually Are, Rest, Recharge, And Comeback Stronger.
I'm absolutely so happy to hear I have a twin out there! It is a very harsh world that we live in and they like to make us believe we are the crazy ones, when in fact I believe we are the most sane! Everything you said absolutely uplifted me and I went to work with a smile on my face and it seems to be bothering the narc.. I'm seriously so fortunate to have found this place with all these beautiful people I can connect with! 😭 literally crying happy tears right now
All I can add is that when you find a job that doesn't involve dealing with people, can you forward my resume?
Haha that seriously made me laugh because 100% I agree! Why we gotta go out to make money, I'm perfectly fine with working at home lol
hmm ... bookeeping (but you should love technical work with documents. Bookkeeping can be stressful if you are not really smart in it. Otherwise it is usually pretty straightforward calm work. Receive docs, work through them, create final balance sheets and financial statements. If you chose clients who are not shady, all docs should easily be in line with law).
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selling art pieces. Not being an artist, that's specific to person. But selling art is actually weirdly calm job, as buyers usually are calm and will want some insight into the artistic idea, not be Wall-Street cutthroat buy-sell types. It's work with people, but it's also work where empathy is a plus.
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writer / blogger - you can make good living writing articles about things you like and enjoy.
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depending on your skills any job that requires high skill and has little involvement from aside, e.g. mechanic of wind turbines. Very individual job, and little constraints.
It's so hard for a highly sensitive person to work in general, but you mentioned some pretty good ones. Definitely would be interested in blogging or maybe dealing with art that seems very peaceful! Thanks so much for all the recommendations
I understand, you just described me to a T. Have you any interest working with animals? I have found that this is the best therapy. I have worked a lot with dogs, they don't judge, they never lie about how they feel and let you know exactly how they feel. They are the most sincere creatures on the earth. You earn they're trust and give you an unlimited amount of love. Just a thought, I too find the world overwhelming. I am an HSP, highly sensitive person. There is some reading out on the this, also a documentary named, Sensitive.. I found it comforting and it helped me actually appreciatewho I am. I am not saying my life is easy, it's filled with anxiety at times and I totally need my down time a lot. I hope this helps, you are not alone.
I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one who deals with HSP.. it can be so debilitating especially having to go out into the world thinking there is something wrong with you, but in fact you are just a really special person who needs extra love and care. We react to the emotions and energies around us and it can be so difficult to function sometimes but at least I know I'm not crazy and I'm not alone. This is just how we are built. I've honestly considered working with animals I absolutely loooooooveeeeee dogs!!!!!
I too am also like you in the fact I need soooo much alone time, and even when I think I've had enough.. too much alone time is actually never enough and I find myself isolating myself alot and losing connections with people around me because they dont understand how I am. Even when i explain how I am it just flys right over their heads and it's just a constant fight of me explaining how I am, all my friends are extroverted because I was basically chosen by them and they adopted me into their circle so it's too much at times and so overwhelming and I just can't deal with those type of energies. They always think something wrong with me and they downplay my feelings and emotions and tell me it all in my head 🤷♀️ and that's just how the whole world treats us.. but thank you for relating to me it really helps me get through the day reading all these messages! 😊
I was where you are now two years ago and i had a huge breakdown. Im not ashamed to say this but now I am a custodian and work 4am to 1pm I have very little contact which helps with my characteristics that are exactly like yours. It has been a huge help for my health. I have even began my own cleaning service on the side. If this is not for you maybe find something in production or warehouse or an evening or night job. Hear to listen anytime
I'm so glad that you were able to get through those tough times! That honestly doesn't sound like a bad idea I would love to just work in peace not having to deal with as many people.. my work does have a night shift so maybe I can look into that, thank you so much for sharing what you went through and I'm really so happy to hear you are in a better place now, it gives me hope to know that this will soon pass and these dark days won't last forever. 😊
Hmm thats a great question. I would say probably nothing in customer service. Im an empath aswell and highly sensitive. I love working with little children. They truly make me happy. Yes exsausting work at times but i feel safe with them. I love art too so maybe something low key with that. Im right now running my own fashion resell business. Which I love too and its nice because I dont have to communicate with others unless its through a computer. So nice. What are your interests and what are definite no's I would ask yourself. Best wishes 💜💜🤗
I'd love to work with little kids but I just don't know how well I'd deal with the parents lol.. it is very tough being an empath but it looks like the things that you are doing are working! Where do you sell clothes on I'd love to check it out?
I'm into jewelry making and I kinda started a little small business but with me feeling so low I've kind of abandoned it which I'm just waiting until I'm feeling inspired again to dive back into.
Art and being creative is one of my passions and I'm always full of ideas, it just sucks when you are so overwhelmed with emotions those passions get put off and you literally just want to curl in a ball and cry most of the time, it takes up most of my energy and I'm definitely trying to change that.. but that is so awesome that you too are into art I love connecting with other artists and seeing what they create it makes me so happy! 😁
I totally get it and dealing with parents can be challenging. Especially if they think their child does no wrong.
As for my site PM me. I'll give it to you I prefer to stay anonymous on here. For trolling.
I love art and would love to connect. 💜💜💜☺
Hi. I read your post and immediately and totally hear and understand. You are an Empath and an HSP (highly sensitive person), it is a kind of personality type. All my life I have struggled from job to job not feeling like I fit in and feeling like a sponge to all that goes on so it feels overwhelming. After many years I feel I finally have a near perfect solution, which is not easy to find but for once feels good and that is I now work remotely from home. I still have to interact with people by phone etc and even then there will always be some sensitivity but it's so massively reduced I can cope and enjoy a job. There are a lot of unpleasant people in workplaces and the majority of people can put up with it, but some people like yourself as you feel will always struggle with it. You cannot help how you feel it's just about finding the right place and job that does support and not overwhelm you. Places that are naturally calmer like libraries, physiotherapist's, counselling centres, florists, opticians, charity shops, possibly. I don't know what you do but if you normally work in a large busy office or the like it is hard. Sometimes when I'm out shopping I feel similar overwhelming feelings, and then if I go into Waterstones bookshop I get an immediate feeling of peace and tranquility and relax. That was the feeling I was sort of looking for when finding a job a could stick with. I hope you find peace and ultimately a job you feel comfortable doing .
I have OCD and I'm an Empath as well. I don't know what is a good job for us because I seemed to pick jobs not conducive to those traits. My last job was working at the San Diego Humane Society
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